That’s the plan.

So there for a little while – and I DO mean a little while – I was super proud of myself. I was getting on here, I was responding to comments in a timely manner. I was posting things. And I had this little voice in my head (figuratively speaking) saying, “Wow, C. You’re doing a great job keeping up with this.”

Should I – or anyone else – be surprised that all of the, “I’m posting stuff!” was followed IMMEDIATELY after by, “Hey . . . hasn’t it, um . . . been awhile, since you’ve, you know . . . been on WordPress?”

My longest hiatus.

One day, I will figure out why I’m so freaking unreliable for just about anything. At least I’m reliable at being unreliable. You can count on me for that, that’s for sure. Wasn’t there something like that in Pirates of the Caribbean? Something like that. Not unreliable. Anywho. Spaz moment.

Anyway, I’ve spent an EXTREMELY long time trying to figure out what I wanted to do with this thing. I needed some sort of stability on here. I’ve already tossed around the ‘writing’ ideas in my head, which I always fall short on when it comes to thinking of things. I can’t depend on myself to come up with SUPER AWESOME WRITERLY TOPICS(!!). So, I thought of an idea sometime in the middle of last week.

Every Friday, I’m going to post an entry with some sort of music that I like. I know it has nothing to do with anything, but the great thing about music is . . . nobody loves all the same music, but everybody loves music. So, I’m going to do that to give myself some sort of stability on here rather than just telling myself I’ll blog when I FEEL like blogging (which, I’ll be totally honest, is not a whole heck of a lot (can anybody tell that it seems to come in spurts?)).

The plan is: Every Friday = Music Post. And I’m telling myself that I MUST blog at least once at some point between the two.

There’s the stability I’ve been lacking on here since, well, I started it.

I actually did have every intention of blogging last week, but . . . Well . . . clearly I didn’t. I was grumpy. That’s a nice word for it. Yeah, we’ll go with grumpy.

That’s the plan.

Don’t hold me to it. I’m going to have a difficult enough time holding myself to it.

Hmm . . .

Anywho, I hope everyone is doing superly awesome out there and whatnot.

🙂

(And now I’m asking myself why I find it so freaking difficult to sit down and do this, lol) . . .

Oops.

So I, um . . . lost track of days.

Clearly.

I just looked (knowing that I needed to blog) and realized it’s been exactly one week since my last post. My bad.

I guess I don’t really feel like I have much to say. I’ve been writing. Series is going. That’s all I’ve been doing. LITERALLY.

Wake up. Write. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

I’ve literally done nothing else. I have a (growing) list of things that I need to get done. I haven’t got to any of them yet. I’m consumed. I can’t help it. I suppose it’s a good thing that I’m able to type fast – at least the WRITING part of writing this will be done . . . well . . . at the rate I’m going? Pretty quickly.

My cat is driving me insane. Sorry, that was just a random bit of something, as she distracted me from writing what I was going to.

And it’s funny – I’ve actually got a few ideas to blog about. Two? Two is two more than I usually have when I sit down to do these things. Woohoo. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t touch your blog for a little while. Or maybe that’s just a coincidence and I’m going to CALL it something else to make myself feel better about not being on here.

I’ll try to get at least one of those entries posted soon. Got something to take care of tomorrow morning, and also have plans Thursday morning, so if I do it . . . it will have to be either Wednesday or Friday.

I haven’t been doing any social-type-things.

I haven’t touched Facebook in at least as long as I’ve posted an entry on here.

I only realized a few days ago that I hadn’t tweeted (is that the correct thing to say?) anything in like . . . 6 days. I can’t remember when that gap was, but it’s been recently. You see? I lose track.

Is someone going to smack me if I say that being like, “Oh, hey, I haven’t tweeted,” makes me feel like a [BLEEEEP]ing moron?

I talked to one of my friends, um, can’t remember what day it was, but I was talking to one of my friends the other day about having a nocturnal schedule and how freaking DIFFICULT it is to do things. In order to make plans, I have to spend several days messing up my sleep schedule, I can’t write the amount of time that I want to write, I do something for however long, and then spend several days trying to fix what I messed up. It’s quite frustrating. I do feel bad though. It makes communicating with anyone extremely difficult. I get a text (rarely, but it happens), find it when I wake up (which is usually after everyone else is sleeping), and then have to wait to text back until right before I go to sleep (which is almost pointless).

I guess that’s just another thing currently adding to my Guilt Pile.

Why is it that people feel guilty for doing things that are good for them? Or things that make them happy? Why should that make anyone feel guilty?

And really? Why in the world should I feel guilty for sleeping when I want to sleep?

I suppose it makes people think you don’t want anything to do with them, which isn’t the case at all.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just tired.

I say maybe, but it’s my bedtime right now. I just had to make sure I posted something NOW because the amount of time since I have is ridiculous.

Sorry for the lack of posting. I’m writing. Yes, I’m a horrible (HORRIBLE) social anything. I already knew that. If you’ve read . . . well . . . probably any of my posts, you’d likely realize I suck socially too.

At least I’m trying. That has to count for something . . . . . . .

Right?

That’s what they say, isn’t it?

Hope you’re all doing well out there and whatnot.

OooooOoOoOooOoooooh. *ding* Level Up.

So I just had a light bulb moment.

I’ve had the most uh-may-zing idea for this new series I’m working on.

I will be laughing maniacally on the inside while I’m falling asleep here in about . . . five minutes or so.

I know this isn’t much, but I was stoked, and just had to share.

Guess this just added to the workload. I’m not complaining.

WRITER’S BLOCK – BEGONE!

G’day, all. And goodnight.

I’ll be enjoying the 10000xp I just received from opening that chest hidden in the corner of the map.

Writer’s block, and other things.

So . . . it’s happened to me.

It took me two days to realize that I had writer’s block. Two days of sitting in my shed, staring at the screen of my laptop.

I’ve had difficult scenes to write before, of course. I trudge along through them – sometimes slowly – and stick my conquering flag in the face of whatever character or situation caused me so much grief. I never laugh though, so don’t picture me laughing while you’re picturing me sticking that conquering flag wherever I’m talking about (if you are). It’s never a funny thing – or a pleasant one. It’s simply something that must be done at some point or another during every story (or at many points, depending on). After writing two complete series (albeit one sh- er . . . uhm . . . crappy one), I’m no stranger to difficult scenes.

It was different this time.

Firstly, that it took me so long to realize that WRITER’S BLOCK had me at a near standstill.

Secondly, the scene I was stuck on was only remotely difficult. It wasn’t anything to bat more than a couple eyelashes at.

In two days, I wrote only about half of a chapter.

On the second of those days, I LITERALLY wrote one half of a page (keep in mind that this is while using Georgia font 12, so that half a page was not really half a page, but close).

This is not saying I sat down for an hour or so combined. I’m talking two entire NIGHTS. I know a lot of people are lucky to get that much written, usually because they have real jobs and the like. This is not me bragging (and I will say it again, I type very fast and I have a lot of time to write), but I usually knock some pretty decent word counts out in the eight to fourteen hours a day that I’m writing. Clearly. That’s a lot of time.

Last night was better. Mostly because I think I realized what’s been plaguing me. It has everything to do with that entry I wrote a few days ago – Overwhelmed by the new WIP. There’s just SO MUCH going on past the eyes of the current MC. So many things that I somewhat knew about, but didn’t really. So many characters that haven’t yet come into the story. So many ties connecting them all together. And I have to figure it out. That’s the issue.

I made some character chart things. Or basic ones – questions that need to be asked for all of them. Who are you?

Haven’t filled any of them out yet.

I had to come up with names that aren’t relevant yet. All kinds of names. Let me tell you – coming up with a giant list of names at one time is SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT than the spur of the moment names when introducing one character to another. I drew a map of this world, separating all the kingdoms. EPIC FAILURE. I tried again (with pencil). Had to put forests where I knew they were. Rivers. Because all of this is relevant in some way or another. The devil is most certainly in the details. The second attempt was only a minor failure. Well, that would depend on your outlook, I suppose. It was a better attempt than the first and – for the most part – I think I’ve got everything (so far) where it needs to be.

I’m trying to figure out when to do all of this (all of the lists/charts/webs [webs are important with this]) and I don’t have a freaking clue. I want to write. Of course this was all hanging me up, preventing me from writing in the first place. I have things to do on here. I have about four blog awards to accept (I WILL GET TO THEM AT SOME POINT! I REALLY HAVE EVERY INTENTION OF IT!). Comments piled up while I was working (I’M SORRY, I WILL GET TO THOSE HERE IN A BIT!). I have some emails that I want to respond to (I WILL GET TO THOSE IN A LITTLE BIT LONGER BIT BECAUSE THEY’RE GOING TO TAKE ME A FEW HOURS!). I want to sit down with Husband and watch a movie we bought the other day. I had to pick blackberries and make jelly with my mom yesterday. Had to welcome my niece back home. I need to eat at some point.

Yes, not very many things, I know. But if you write on a regular basis, you’ll know that every minute you spend doing something else is a minute that you could’ve been writing. Depending on your typing speed, a minute is what? Between 60-120 words? Add sixty of those together and you get . . . well, I’m bad at math and I don’t feel like adding it up.

LOTS OF WORDS.

I have issues, I know.

A minute spent doing character sheets. A minute spent responding to comments. A minute spent blogging. A minute spent doing anything.

And I actually took a bit of time to do some fun things on Friday. Went to Qdoba with my husband, tweeted about it and they tweeted me back (I’m sure they do that with everybody, but it was super awesome for me). Went and saw The Lone Ranger. Don’t even get me started on that. I actually wanted to blog about that movie and I might. I just wanted to make sure I’d do it with a calm mind.

Irrelevant.

Minutes. Words.

Clearly I’m losing it.

Can anybody see why I crawl into a little hermit-hole while I’m writing?

Sorry.

Thanks everybody for being so cool about all of it and (for some reason) liking me anyway.

Hope you’re all having wonderful days and whatnot. And I hope that no one else is plagued by the WB. Kind of like that down-bug that made its way ’round a few weeks ago. Be careful. Don’t catch this one.

Hmm . . . come to think about it . . . It would probably be best to go seclude myself. Just so nobody else gets it. 😉

Hello World. I am a moron. Nice to meet you.

You know that overwhelming feeling of panic that you have when you’re turning a doorknob and nothing happens?

You’re turning, you’re pulling (and YES, it IS a turn and pull door). Nothing.

And then your claustrophobia starts setting in. And then – in the span of about five seconds – you’re contemplating all the ways you could POTENTIALLY break this door to get it to open. And, “Hey, C. How ironic is it that you wrote a scene in one of your books, making a joke about a door being broken? BET IT’S REALLY FUNNY NOW, iddn’t it?”

Anyway, the door opened.

And apparently I’m talking to myself via blog.

I should probably sleep, but I can’t yet.

Wow. This isn’t as bad as jumping and nearly screaming when you catch your reflection in a pancake syrup bottle.

Hello World. This is me.

– C

Overwhelmed by the new WIP

The title says it all, doesn’t it?

I somehow managed to fix my sleep schedule back to normal (nocturnal) after that first night of coming home from Florida. So, for the past several days, all I’ve been doing is WRITING. Time has slipped away from me. I’m not ashamed of it, and I feel only slightly guilty.

Things are going well with this second book (so far). I’m writing it from another character’s perspective. Interactive. The story rolls on.

Here’s the thing . . .

I write a LOT of characters over the course of a series. I’m not even going to tell you how many were in S2. It seems natural to me. People meet other people. I guess it’s enough to be confusing if you have a difficult time remembering names. Normally, I don’t.

And you see . . . it’s not that there are a crapton of characters being introduced in these new books. There really isn’t. It’s everything else.

EVERYTHING.

I made up a new world in S2. Cities, small towns, etc. But it seems so . . . my god, I’m going to hate saying this, but it seems so basic in comparison.

Now I’ve got magic to deal with. Who can do what most efficiently. What it looks like when each of them use it (and its differences).

I’ve got creatures.

I’ve got dragons with names.

Ties. Families. Wars. Lineage. Kingdoms. Villages. Armies. Generals. Units. Laws. Punishments. More ties. Marriages. Kids. Taverns. Weapons. Soldiers. Secrets. More magic. SO MUCH MORE MAGIC. HAVE I USED THAT NAME? WHICH DRAGON IS WHICH? HOLY JESUS, WHAT COLOR DID I MAKE THEM AGAIN? WHAT’S THAT ABOUT REPRODUCTION? WHAT WAS THAT NAME? WTF IS GOING ON HERE?!

I uhm . . . I’m going to have to map this stuff out.

This will be a first, minus my little lists for sh . . . er . . uhm . . . craps and giggles. Lists of names, usually. Gotta make sure they’re not too similar (as I tend to do that occasionally). Lists of chapter titles. Lists of word counts for each chapter after each editing. Tallies of each cuss word and how many times they’re each used. Yes, I’ve got a bit of OCD. I like lists. And apparently the word each when writing the past few sentences.

But now I’m going to have to make detailed sheets, like . . . for each thing. It’s new. It’s made my eyes twitch a few times, thinking about it.

Anyway. What I’m trying to say here is, “Hey. I’m a little busy right now.”

I know I try to post every three days. I think I’m a day off right now. I might have to extend that a little.

Here comes the guilt.

We’ll say I’ll try to give an update and say hello every four days or so. I’m usually pretty good at responding to comments, but I’ve even fallen off on that. I’m just feeling very overwhelmed at the moment. I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me, but honestly? I’m looking forward to it. This will be a new experience. New experiences – yaaaaaay.

So that’s what I’ve been doing. That’s what I’ll be doing. That’s what’s going on.

Hope all of you out there in the vast expanses of internetdom are having wonderful days and all that good stuff.

I sure am, despite the eye twitching.

I shall wave the shame fan in my own face for being such a horrible person and neglecting my social networking stuff.

Home Again

Well, my sister and I arrived back in good ole’ Kentucky last night. I have every intention of posting an entry about Florida later today, or possibly tomorrow depending on how long it takes me to get the pictures on my computer and sorted through. Yes, I will be posting pictures.  As of this moment, I don’t plan on putting a lot on it. Who knows? I have over 30 pictures that my sister attempted to take of dolphin fins while I was absent. I’ll see how many of them were successful once I get them on a bigger screen. I think she took more pictures in that few minute time span than I took the entire time I was down there. haha

Anywho, just wanted to touch base. Say, “Hey there all! I’m back!”

And also, “Expect an entry later.” Oops – that should have had (!!).

Here in a bit (like . . . a few minutes), I will be comment-responding. Then messing about with pictures once I’m finished. But all the while, I’ll be drinking the first cup of MY USUAL COFFEE that I’ve had in a week. It’s like being in heaven, let me tell you.

Florida

I did something that I never do – made a spur of the moment decision.

My sister called me just after I’d laid down to go to sleep this afternoon (technically yesterday now) and asked Husband and me to go to Florida with her. He couldn’t, due to school responsibilities, but . . . Well, I’m a little over halfway through the ride right now.

I’m a little (or a lot more than a little) conflicted. We’ve never willingly been away from each other for longer than a lunch date or so. And we haven’t spent a single night apart since he came home from his deployment a few years ago. I’m not ashamed to admit that heartless me cried a little (or a bit more than). I miss him. You might think it’s ridiculous, but I miss him terribly.

He told me to enjoy the time with my sister. After passing the point of no return (two hours into the drive), it’s been easier to do. Fun things. I’m trying to think fun things. Beach. Sun. Fun things. But I miss my husband and I wish he was with me. Yes, listen to me continuing to whine. This time I’m not sorry about it.

I probably won’t be posting entries (unless they’re very short or I have a plethora of free time) or responding to things. Using my phone for this is a major pain.

Maybe I’ll get some cool pictures and post them on Instagram.

Hope all of you are having a fun time and are taking advantage of summer.

I guess this is what they call taking time off. Wasn’t what I meant/expected when I said that earlier. Life is funny sometimes.

Finished.

Well. Unexpectedness.

So I . . . finished that book already.

Wasn’t planning on that. I was planning on writing for at least five more days. I was planning on putting about 40k more words in it.

But I sat down last night – stuck in a horrible headspace – and wrote one chapter. Then I sat there, and sat there, and sat there. I wrote another chapter and then . . . it was just . . . done.

I had no say in the matter whatsoever.

I don’t have a clue where I’m going to go with it from here. Will I write another book from the same character’s perspective? Will I throw in a new main character?

Honestly, with this STUPID FREAKING HEADSPACE, I have half a mind to just leave it where it is. But the world is so vast – with so much potential – that I feel like I’d be robbing it of something amazing if I didn’t continue on. I don’t know. I’ll probably take a few days off (like I said), and attempt to regroup. Maybe something will come to me. Maybe it won’t. We’ll see.

All I know is that if I don’t somehow find a better mood to inhabit my body, I won’t feel like doing diddly.

I have two blog awards that I need to accept, which I have intent to do at some point during the next few days (after I’m feeling a little better). At the current point in time, I can’t bring myself to post them.

I think I’ve responded to all the comments I needed to on here. Checked out new followers, etc. (WELCOME TO MY MADNESS!)

I need to send a few emails and respond to some messages (badly – everything in my world gets neglected when I’m writing  – SORRY). I’ll probably do that this morning. Who knows?

Sorry to all for my bad mood. I probably shouldn’t even be posting anything, but isn’t the entire purpose of this blog to be like, “Hey. This is what’s going on with me writing-wise, and in general.”??

So this is what’s going on with me.

Unpleasant headspace. Finished writing the new book. Again, I’ll say it – I type fast, and I have a lot of time.

It’s always so surreal to me. I wonder if that feeling of finishing them will ever fade. Hopefully not. I guess when you know that you have months and months of editing after the writing . . . well . . . Yeah.

I should probably end this post.

Hope everybody is great. And I mean that. Sincerely. I wouldn’t wish these stupid moods on anyone.

Oh, I should thank J. Lau for inadvertently giving me a good laugh last night. After having a small commenting-conversation about hearing Matt Smith’s voice saying something . . . Well . . . I got a good laugh later, when thinking about it. That’s all I’ll say. So thanks J! Was definitely in need of that, for sure.

I think I’ll watch some Merlin (SEASON FIVE, FINALLY!) for a little while. If that doesn’t make me feel better, then I swear to all that is holy – absolutely nothing will.

 

I’ve done it . . .

I have actually let another person impact a decision, past what to eat for dinner.

Many of you who actually read my entries on here know that I’ve had a very difficult time trying to figure out if I wanted to attempt to publish traditionally, or if I wanted to self-publish.

None of you know how many times I’ve flopped back and forth about it. Seriously – I kid you not – every other day it will be the one, then the other. Throw small presses into the mix and you’ve got a very not-fun mix of things to flop over (and over and over and OVER) with. I’m sure many of you have been in that boat before. But I’m sure most of you – after doing the research – have been able to make the decision that was best for you. I couldn’t. I’m not kidding. There are pros and cons to all sides, which anybody who does a Google search will know. All those pros and cons evened themselves out with me.

When talking to people (especially my husband) about it, they tend to just go along with whatever you say. That’s not bad. Most people understand that a person will do whatever they want in any given situation, and trust that a person is capable of making the best decision for themselves. So when I call you at two in the morning almost screaming my lungs out about how I’m GOING TO SELF-PUBLISH, of COURSE you’re going to think, “That’s the best thing for her to do.”

I’ve done it. Yes. I have made those calls.

I have made those calls, slept on it, then woke up with a different outlook.

And if you read my post Balance, then you know (where I’m talking about my hair) that my husband is THE ULTIMATE agreer. Yes, I know agreer is not a word, but it should be.

So (after going through this for months on end) while laying in bed yesterday morning before sleep (yes, I said that correctly – I am nocturnal), I caved. I said, “Husband, I NEED your input here. All of these pros and cons are even. HELP ME, FOR GOD’S SAKE!” That is not verbatim, but it’s close enough to pass.

He thought on it. Just now, we had a conversation about it.

He wants me to try to get an agent. And he wants me to do that so I don’t lose my mind. Getting an agent . . . well . . . it’s damn near impossible to do, I know. I don’t think I REALLY realized how damn near impossible it actually WAS until recently. I’ve realized. The likelihood is . . . not good. I’ve accepted it.

I’ve accepted it and am backup-planning in my head.

But you know what?

Until my editor (WOOO) gets done with my book in . . . let’s see . . . my brain is NOT working right now. A little over two months. Yes. She’s starting it August 1st and will get done at the end of the month. So until she gets done with it, I will get to focus on my writing rather than stressing to the high heavens. I’ll take that.

So when I fail with getting an agent (I’m not being negative – only realistic) . . . I will cross that bridge when I get there. The good thing about being realistic is that you ALWAYS have a backup plan. But now, I’ve got a plan BEFORE the backup plan is necessary.

Thanks Husband.

How strange it was to just say, “Alright. If that’s what you think I should do . . . it’s what I’ll do.”

If you know me at all, then you will know that DOES NOT HAPPEN. Just saying.

Sorry. Figured I should get all that out there. It’s off to bed for me.

Hope everyone is having a lovely day.

🙂