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At some point between posting my entry yesterday morning and now, I got my 200th follower. I just have to say thank you to any and all of you who (for some reason that is lost to me) find what I say interesting enough to read.
It sincerely means a lot to me.
And I sincerely love WordPress/the WordPress Family.
❤
So there for a little while – and I DO mean a little while – I was super proud of myself. I was getting on here, I was responding to comments in a timely manner. I was posting things. And I had this little voice in my head (figuratively speaking) saying, “Wow, C. You’re doing a great job keeping up with this.”
Should I – or anyone else – be surprised that all of the, “I’m posting stuff!” was followed IMMEDIATELY after by, “Hey . . . hasn’t it, um . . . been awhile, since you’ve, you know . . . been on WordPress?”
My longest hiatus.
One day, I will figure out why I’m so freaking unreliable for just about anything. At least I’m reliable at being unreliable. You can count on me for that, that’s for sure. Wasn’t there something like that in Pirates of the Caribbean? Something like that. Not unreliable. Anywho. Spaz moment.
Anyway, I’ve spent an EXTREMELY long time trying to figure out what I wanted to do with this thing. I needed some sort of stability on here. I’ve already tossed around the ‘writing’ ideas in my head, which I always fall short on when it comes to thinking of things. I can’t depend on myself to come up with SUPER AWESOME WRITERLY TOPICS(!!). So, I thought of an idea sometime in the middle of last week.
Every Friday, I’m going to post an entry with some sort of music that I like. I know it has nothing to do with anything, but the great thing about music is . . . nobody loves all the same music, but everybody loves music. So, I’m going to do that to give myself some sort of stability on here rather than just telling myself I’ll blog when I FEEL like blogging (which, I’ll be totally honest, is not a whole heck of a lot (can anybody tell that it seems to come in spurts?)).
The plan is: Every Friday = Music Post. And I’m telling myself that I MUST blog at least once at some point between the two.
There’s the stability I’ve been lacking on here since, well, I started it.
I actually did have every intention of blogging last week, but . . . Well . . . clearly I didn’t. I was grumpy. That’s a nice word for it. Yeah, we’ll go with grumpy.
That’s the plan.
Don’t hold me to it. I’m going to have a difficult enough time holding myself to it.
Hmm . . .
Anywho, I hope everyone is doing superly awesome out there and whatnot.
🙂
(And now I’m asking myself why I find it so freaking difficult to sit down and do this, lol) . . .
Ah, the dreaded three letter word that starts with S, ends in X, and rhymes with HEX.
It’s not such a dreaded word in reality (at least not for most people under whichever circumstances), but for writers who are not Romance novelists? Oh yes, that word is SO dreaded. I’m not sticking all of you other writers out there into that little box with me, but I’m definitely in it and I know I’m not the only one.
I have to keep in mind that most of you who read my blog have had zero interaction with me off of here. I email with a few people. I’ve talked on the phone to one person a few times. So yes, the only way most of us all know one another is through interactions on WordPress. In a way, that can almost give you deeper insight to a person than you’d normally get – at least in my opinion. We share our hopes and dreams on here – our pains (not paints, way to ruin a moment with a typo, C), our struggles, and our ambitions. We share our WRITING. I know you all get me on that level, which is fantastic.
I’ve said on here before that I’m a pretty closed off person in some ways. If I know you, I’ll spill my deepest secrets (or the next level above the deepest) to you in a heartbeat. I can be a very open person. But let me give you a little insight . . .
If I did NOT know you, and you came up to me on the street and started rattling off about sex scenes, one or both of my eyes would likely start twitching. I would sweat profusely. I would be polite and say, “Hey, Random Person, this is somewhat inappropriate.” At least I would want it to come out of my mouth that way. It would probably be more like, “Whoa dude, wtf are you doing?”
That’s me.
I’ve written a lot, alright? That type of stuff HAPPENS when you write books, because that type of stuff HAPPENS in real life. I’m a fan of The Cut-Off. If I lead up to something happening well enough, I’m PRETTY SURE your mind can fill in the gaps. It’s my goal as a writer to make that happen. It’s better that way, I think (just my opinion). At least I am better at it that way, which . . . sometime you out there can be the judge of that, if you ever want to be. When writing Young Adult, it’s almost better to do it that way, again in my opinion. And I don’t want to feel like I’d be responsible for a crapton of sexually deviant teenagers running around doing things that they do. Hey, they do it, but I don’t want to feel responsible for it. And I would feel responsible, even if nobody ever accused me of it.
Oh my GOD, ALL THE EVILS IN THE WORLD ARE MY FAULT!!
That’s how my brain works, okay?
There’s a part of me that’s not comfortable writing YA at all, as I cover a lot of subjects in my books that I’m not sure the younger end of YA readers . . . I’m stopping myself there, as I cannot say who should and should not (or would and would not be able to) handle whatever. But I’m less comfortable writing in the adult genre, in ways.
I’ll give you a scenario – it’s a truthful scenario that happens quite often with me while I’m writing (or editing) a book.
I’m sitting there in my shed (I have every intention of posting an entry about my shed on here, so let’s leave the shed at that for now), writing (or editing). Sexy scene comes up. I type (or read/write) a few words. I giggle. I type a few more, put my hand over my face, and start talking to myself (“Oh my god,” for example. “I can’t believe I just wrote that,” for another). I type a few more and giggle again.
It happens.
There are some scenes in some of my books that – I kid you not – will have me nearly rolling around on the ground giggling in uncomfortableness. I do weird things when I’m uncomfortable, if you haven’t gathered.
So yes, adult books have their downside, as The Cut-Off is generally not wanted or accepted.
But I’ll tell you something I learned . . . yesterday? Two days ago? The days blur . . .
I knew that I’d done a relatively decent job with the more ‘intimate’ scenes (not sex scenes) in the book that my editor HAS IN HER HANDS RIGHT NOW. I knew that I had because my husband’s response after reading one of them in particular was, “I felt like I was intruding.”
That’s one of those things where you think about it for a little while, and then nod your head in satisfaction when you’re alone. It must’ve been good, in some way.
I’ve never really felt like that – at least no more than I usually feel when I’m writing. I already feel a level of intrusion into the character’s stories that I’m telling because I feel like I’m telling the life story of some person that has no business being told. I’m giving words to their lives for other people to read.
I have to be honest and say that I finished writing this new trilogy last week. I didn’t want to say anything on here – partially because I’ve been busy (writing and now editing), and partially because I read on a blog awhile back that talking about writing prolifically can make other authors feel bad. I’ve actually been struggling a lot with both that, and the fact that I write full-time (without pay because I have no books released yet . . . give me some time to get everything in place and they will be out there, I promise). I don’t want to make anyone feel any negative thing due to what I’m doing, so I haven’t wanted to be like, “HEY, I FINISHED ANOTHER BOOK!” And then another one a few weeks later. But hey. I have.
Guilty feelings come to me again now.
So anyway, I had to say it so that what I say next will make sense.
I was editing the first book in that trilogy and came upon the actual first legitimate sex scene that I’ve ever written. It was torture writing it, let me tell you. I was pleased with it afterward. I thought I kept it classy (as classy as they can get). I postponed writing it for as long as I freaking could, let me tell you.
Anyway, came upon it when editing.
And by god, if I didn’t feel like I was intruding then I don’t know what that was. Well, uncomfortable, yes. But intrusive. I felt so unbelievably intrusive.
So, after getting through editing it and taking a few minute break afterward to try and fix my brain back into its normal – un-uncomfortable – mode, I sat there and I thought about it.
I’ll never be a Romance novelist. Not ever. Well, I can’t know that for certain, but I know for certain that I don’t want to be. I love the natural romance that happens between characters, but I’m not trying to turn love stories into the pornographacation (*ding* new Non-Word) of a character’s life. I will write and write (and write and write) about things that don’t happen, but I like my books to be realistic enough that the other things can make those unrealistic things believable. And throwing in a bunch of words that people DO NOT THINK into scenarios and DO NOT HAPPEN . . . Where is the believability there?
I’m not writing this to get into a debate about Romance novels. People like them, and that’s cool. I just don’t write them.
What I’m trying to say is that I learned, finally, that I CAN actually write a sex scene if I feel that I absolutely must – if the story, or the characters say, “Dammit, woman, TELL THE STORY!”.
And I’m proud of myself for that because it was such a freaking struggle for me.
But hey, I’m a bigger fan of the leading-up-to anyhow. For the most part . . . I think I’ll stick to what I’m good at when it comes to that sort of thing with writing. I’ll venture out of my box to grow, but . . . yep, done that. Check.
Sorry this was so long, but I haven’t been blogging very much. Pretty poor way of making up for it, come to think about it.
Anyway, if anyone else has had the same struggles – or similar ones – feel free to share. Maybe I won’t feel so ridiculous.
Hope everyone is wonderful out there.
🙂
Now if only I can get over the thought of my mom reading these new books of mine that she’s been asking to read . . .
I’m not sure if anyone else wants to admit it, but we all know there’s some sort of . . . pecking order, I’d call it, when it comes to bloggers. That’s probably the wrong way to put it, and I know at least SOMEONE out there is going to misunderstand what I meant. I’m not saying that there is some legitimate list (The Who’s Who of Blogging). There’s not. I’m saying that we all have this idea in our heads – ESPECIALLY when we first start out blogging (and I still consider myself a noob at it). It’s our own little mental list of people who, despite interacting with so many OTHER people, would not DARE interact with us. I know I had (still have) my own list of people I’d think would have zero interest in acknowledging my existence in the world.
Charles Yallowitz was one of those people for me.
I saw him interacting on blogs that I follow and, for whatever reason, thought he’d have no time or desire to include me in those interactions.
One day, I said, “To hell with it,” and started following him. And seriously, I am so freaking glad that I did. He is one of the most awesome people I’ve talked to on here, and I’ve talked to a LOT of awesome people on the good ole’ WordPress.
Anyway, in all my being nonexistent (basically) on here, I noticed on Twitter that he released the second book in his series – Legends of Windemere.
Woo! to Charles from me for releasing a new book!
It got me thinking that I wanted to make a new thing on here for all my numerous author friends. So every time I catch someone with some super awesome news, I’m going to post about it so everyone out there can soak up the awesomeness that comes with this sort of thing. I might be a little late (and I very well might actually miss things while I’m working – feel free to inform me if I do), but hey, better late than never. Don’t some people say that? I think they do . . .
Anyway, if you don’t know Charles, go follow him NOW so you can! I hyper-linked his name up there at the top to his blog, did you notice? 😉
And go check out his new book – Prodigy of Rainbow Tower!
Love that cover, by the way.
If you haven’t read the first in the series, and you’re interested in the FABULOUS Fantasy genre, go do that too! Beginning of a Hero
And, if you’re absolutely anything like me and simply CANNOT STAND e-books, here (HERE) is a link to Beginning of a Hero in paperback.
Congrats and good-luck-wishes sent your way from me through the computer, Charles.
Thanks for being so awesome. 🙂
I sure do hope I didn’t mess anything up and that all of the links are accurate. If they’re not, someone please let me know!
I was recently given The WordPress Family blog award by Shaun, who made the award awhile back. If you spent just a little while looking at his blog or talking to him on here, you would totally understand why he made this, why he called it what he did, and what it means to him. It’s seriously an honor to be a part of his WordPress family. And I hope all of you know what an honor it is to have you all as a part of mine.
The Rules:
1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. Nominate 10 others you see as having an impact on your WordPress experience and family
4. Let your 10 Family members know you have awarded them
5. That is it. Just please pick 10 people that have taken you as a friend, and spread the love
Fantastic, isn’t it?
I think so too.
My Ten (And yes, I am going to actually do ten this time):
Honestly, I could put so many more of you on here, and I probably should.
And seriously? Every interaction that I’ve had with any person on here has been an extremely positive experience that I’ve treasured. Thank all of you for taking your time and choosing to waste a few minutes of it on my ramblings. Thank all of you for taking a few minutes to share your thoughts with me. I appreciate all of you.
❤
C. Miller 