Positivity Journal, Week Three

Yesterday I got to write ‘Day 21’ down in the Positivity Journal. So I’ve kept with it for three weeks now, and that’s pretty cool.  Apart from a few stray days here and there, things have been going well here. Sure, there was yesterday where I was dealing with some major dizziness/general discombobulation. The positive of that was getting to write the word discombobulation. I love words, and all . . .

There have been the other negatives. One of those being that playing Destiny has gotten me far behind on . . . pretty much everything. Okay, okay, I’ve written a bit as well (though not anywhere near the amount I did the week before this last one), and that hasn’t helped with getting caught up. The positive to that is . . . I’ve written. The positive to playing Destiny is that I’ve got to spend some time with Husband. Also, it’s fun.

There was even a ‘family’ sort of ‘issue’ the other day that took up an entire page to explain due to my unhappiness/frustration over it. And yet I was still able to find a positive in it.

I really have to believe that the PJ is a positive thing for me all around. Even on the frustrating days, it’s nice to actually pick out something good that happened, write it down, and say, “Okay. This is the thing to focus on here.”

I’m sure there will be the odd irredeemable day here and there. (Such as the day where I was trying to get some stuff done and my internet was refusing to cooperate. That day was filled with – after – after – of me complaining about the internet, not to mention the generally negative remarks of things along the lines of ‘this figures’.) Such is life.

I’m sort of adapting it as I go along. I started keeping a ‘Stat Count’ early into it. Every day (or night, depending on), I’ll write a few things down to keep track of. They get their own positives and negatives. Being able to write down [+16,011 words written] one day was both unbelievable and fantastic. (That was during the writing week, where I needed to get that part of the story out. Getting that many words out in one day has its downfalls. Such as being so out of it by the end that I’ll be missing two words from every other sentence. It happens, and it’s fixable.)

I just think it will be really awesome to look back one day and be like, “Yeah, so that must’ve been one of those days where I did absolutely nothing but write. That must’ve been a great day.”

I’ve seriously been keeping track of basically everything, even down to ‘Wrote a chapter. S8, B5, C2 +3, 777.’ (That’s the most recent one, and it was done yesterday when I was recovering from all the dizziness. There’s no telling how horrible it is.) So not only will I be able to look back and know which book I was working on, but also the chapter, which will be exceptionally cool for the ones that stick out pretty far in my memory. “Yeah, that was a horrible chapter. Definitely not going to be comfortable when my mom reads that.” (I don’t need to write that sentence down to remember it, and yes, that chapter mentioned at the top of this paragraph is definitely one that messes with the comfort level. I’ve been writing a lot of those lately, seems like. Makes me feel like I’m doing something right, if it can make me uncomfortable.)

My inner ‘control freak’ must be having the time of her life with this. I can only guess because she tries very hard to keep herself quiet. (Doesn’t always work.) (Okay, enough of talking about some aspect of myself in third-person.) My days have been structured, and that’s more comforting for me than I can even explain. I’d almost wonder if that would make me more willing to step out of my comfort zone (which pretty much just requires taking ONE STEP ANYWHERE), or at least better able to handle it, but if my latest experience at the Post Office is any indication? Yeah, I’m still just as awkward and uncomfortable. Don’t even want to think about that, but even my husband said he could tell how uncomfortable I was, and he’s usually all, “You did fine.”

I do worry about myself sometimes. Then again, I worry about pretty much everything all the time. Take today, for example. I’m still on the first page of the PJ and there are two separate bullets about different worries. That’s me.

That’s basically it as far as what’s going on, but I do have one more thing to say.

I had an idea yesterday to start a new ongoing post, of sorts. They’ll be short and something I could for sure make the time to write up weekly. I’m not sure that anyone would want to read them, but . . . short. Enough said there, with how my posts seem to go (long), and a few people still read those for some reason. So maybe. I guess I’ll just have to try it out. Sort of like how hardly anybody checks out my Friday Music posts, but I still do them anyway from time to time. I guess it doesn’t really matter.

I honestly don’t even know what I’m talking about at the moment. Still not coherent.

Anyway . . . I hope everyone is having a great week so far. I’ll be working on getting caught up, but if it takes me a bit to respond to things, you can assume I’m playing Destiny. Or writing. Or working on getting caught up with something else.

kbai

Oh yeah, one more thing? I am pissed off about Master Chef. Just saying.

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And Stuff . . .

It’s been a pretty great week here, which is always a fantastic thing to be able to say. I’ve got (most of) another week down in the Positivity Journal, which is good. I’m still not sure if that’s actually helping, but I’m still glad to be doing it. Maybe these last two weeks have just been better, or maybe writing down all that stuff is extremely beneficial for my state of mind. (It is.)

Surprising that it’s been less than a week since I posted on here last, which is good for me. It’s even more surprising that I feel like I have twenty million things to talk about.

I’ve been absolutely consumed with writing the last several days, to the point where I pretty much did nothing else. Seriously, pretty much nothing else. I’ve had bouts of LOTSAWRITING somewhat recently, but those were mostly due to trying to utilize what time I was giving myself to write. This week it’s been NEEDTOGETTHISOUT writing, where the story must be told and you really don’t have much of a choice but to do it. I kept telling myself that I had stuff I needed to do (always referred to as ‘other stuff’ in my PJ), that I was going to get behind again after pretty much getting caught up (whodathunkit?), but I was seriously concerned about losing momentum with this. And truth be told, I was just happy to feel like that again. (Where I was so excited about writing that I stayed up until my eyes felt like they’d turned to sand, then woke up a few hours later to get back to it and repeat the process.) I could probably (definitely) keep the rest of the series going in this way, but alas, responsibilities and all . . . (Can’t completely ignore one child [series] just because another is demanding attention.)

I’ve watched quite a bit of shows (somewhat) recently (though not during those few days of writing). Had to get Hulu so I could get caught up with Once Upon a Time before it came back on. STOKED about that now that I’ve finished season 3. While watching that, there kept being adverts for Sleepy Hollow, so I gave that a try and watched all of the first season. I was pleasantly surprised by that, mostly for the premise. (I do have to say that I wish I’d gotten hold of the script and whatnot before they filmed it. [If you stick your ring in the wall and it stays in the wall when it raises, how is your ring back on your finger when the wall stays up the entire time????????]) Sure, the acting could’ve been better (it did get better), but the whole concept was/is just super cool to me. Looking forward to that. (Also, as angry as the season ending made me, I have to give props to any show that can make my eye twitch due to the ending and my frustration over it. *cough* Lost *cough*)

I was going on IMDB to look up something a bit ago (I am on there a lot) and saw that James Corden will be taking over The Late Late Show. STOKED. I’d never been into those late night shows until a few months ago. Husband and I gave Conan a try (he used to watch it when he was younger) because nothing else was on. Then I got hooked. Then got frustrated due to how often Conan re-airs episodes so we started watching Jimmy Fallon now that we have Hulu and there’s a backlog of episodes. LOVE IT. Well, I love everything about it apart from ol’ whatshisface on there. (Still trying to figure out why hosts need a host????) Anyway, I saw James Corden when watching Doctor Who, so I’ll probably at least give that a try. (Glad I didn’t give up on those shows when catching a bit of Seth Myers before starting with Conan. And can I just add . . . Has ANYONE ELSE noticed that Seth Myers looks exactly like Ben Stiller????)

Anyway, all those shows have given me a somewhat different perspective on actors. Like Vin Diesel. I was pleasantly surprised by him. Still really dislike Jason Statham, no surprise there. (No, I do not like him.) It’s been pretty cool. (Can I also add . . . I want a baby Groot. So bad.) Good wind-down shows while I’m having my cup of milk before bed.

I’m excited about this week. I’m going to be spending the day with my mom (hopefully tomorrow), which I haven’t done in a while. I’ll also be getting to see some of my favorite people in the world (that I haven’t seen in an unacceptably long time).

Destiny is coming out, and I’ve been looking forward to that for . . . long time. Sure, they took the split-screen co-op out (WTF? GAAAAAH! >.<), but I’m still going to give it a shot. If I like it, Husband and I will have to buy ANOTHER copy (yaaaaay for money-drains!) to play it together. But I’m hoping it’s as good as it’s hyped up to be. Stoked, yet apprehensive. Trying not to get too stoked (because then I get the kind of upset where I start shouting about split-screen co-op being removed) because I don’t want to be disappointed . . .

Got some really fantastic reviews for Reave pretty recently, and that makes me super happy.

Also made a new friend, which also makes me super happy.

am starting to wonder if some of my real life friends have gotten completely fed up with my workaholic ways and have zero intention of ever speaking to me again. That doesn’t make me super happy.

Painted my nails a color called Blue Suede Shoes, which makes me want to wear my pair of blue suede heels (had to get them on principle). Not that I wear heels because . . . totally don’t. Not that not wearing heels stops me from purchasing heels because . . . totally doesn’t. I keep hoping that one day I’ll have an excuse to get out of my pajamas and out into the world, where people do stuff. The excuse would be a friend that would pull me out of my shed. Yeah, Husband and I need to get out more.

This is starting to turn into a generalized yet more thorough version of my PJ, so I should probably put a stop to this post despite feeling like I could go on (and on and on). I’ve just been in a good mood (which is a nice change from that horrible one that wouldn’t go away), so yeah. I’m thinking that getting consumed by writing has more to do with it than anything, but we shall see.

Hope everyone is doing super fantastically awesome and stuff.

(Apologies for any [non-purposeful] errors in this. I am extremely tired.)

Bad Headspace . . .

Being away for four or five days doesn’t seem very long at all. As I mentioned in the last post, sometimes I disappear for a month or so from everywhere just to write. That’s usually the only thing that stops me from being ANYWHERE for any (decently) substantial length of time. So I guess this newest (small) break (of sorts) was a pretty new sort of experience for me.

I’ve taken actual breaks before, where I don’t ‘work’ at all. Usually when a new video game comes out. I’ll spend a week or so playing it (bonus points for couch co-op because that means I get to spend time with Husband too). I’ll take a bit of time here and there when I’m waiting for other things to happen because . . . hey, might as well.

I know I’ve mentioned before that when I’m not working, I want to be working. (And will be ‘plotting’ (as much as I ever really can/do) books out while I’m doing other things.) The last few days haven’t been an exception in that regard, but there was one definite difference.

Usually, when I’m inside, I’m wanting to be in my shed. Even if I’m not writing at that point, or editing, I want to be out here because this is my space. This is where I check the rest of the world at the door and get to think about nothing but work. (Is it work if you love it?) The last few days have been an exception because I honestly just did not want to be out here.

I worded that wrong. I wanted to be out here. I just couldn’t.

It’s sort of weird (maybe) how it happened, but I’ve been in one of the worst headspaces I’ve occupied in a pretty long while. (It was a piling.)

It started with me getting utterly overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I have to do. I get frustrated at how long it takes me to do . . . pretty much everything. So I think I was just over-thinking a lot of these things. Asking, “How am I supposed to get all this done and have time to EVER write again?” rather than saying, “I just need to (mentally) shut up and do it.”

That alone would’ve been fine enough. I’m pretty used to having quite a bit on my plate. (Or am used to juggling multiple plates at once. Or, er, used to having multiple plates that I will ‘juggle’ one at a time of.)

I watched a TV show the other day, at the ‘start’ of this bad headspace. It’s probably wrong of me to do, but I’ve been blaming a not-so-good mood going from that to undeniably horrible on that show.

I started watching Cold Justice last season. I’m kind of weird with shows like that. Love detective shows, but some . . . no. (The way I explain it is: I have no issues seeing a [prop] head in a box, but I have issues if the show shows how said [prop] head ended up being in said box. Meaning, I don’t like/can’t watch CSI.) I watched a few episodes of Criminal Minds while my husband was deployed. Then I had to stop because, no matter how interesting the show was to me, it just got to be too much. (I’m weird about blood in shows/movies. I don’t mind seeing it there as long as I don’t have to see how it got there.)

Anyway, I love detective shows. I love trying to figure out who the bad guys are (usually do) and why they did what they did (usually do). But there are certain sorts of things that really . . . bother me. When I start thinking about real people doing the sorts of things I’m watching, whether or not it’s plausible, etc. . . . yeah, that really gets to me.

So yeah, Cold Justice. Even though that is them going around working on REAL cold cases . . . I’ve been pretty alright with it. Sure, there have been the moments of, “Oh my god,” or, “blah blah, that bastard, blah blah.” I don’t have the ‘disconnect’ that I have in shows like Sherlock, or Elementary, or The Mentalist (which used to be one of my favorites) because there’s no ‘this isn’t real’ barrier. I get angry a lot of the time, watching it.

Anyway, a few episodes ago, it was a check-up one. And they had John Walsh on there hosting.

So I got this bright idea to watch The Hunt with John Walsh.

Big mistake, C. BIG MISTAKE.

There I was, already at the beginning of a horrendous mood, and I watch an episode of that show. I almost cried. The entire show, I was almost in tears at just how . . . messed up (not wording that how I want) it all was. Then I was torn about how good it is to have stuff like that out there, when the ‘person’ is still on the loose. (I really hope someone catches that . . . . man. (Not wording that how I want to either.) I don’t care that he’s as old as the hills now. Don’t freaking care.)

I was genuinely upset. Then something frustrating happened while I was still trying to deal with all the not-good-feels from that. I went to sleep, woke up, got frustrated by something else, and the story moves on.

My point is that every time I thought I might be getting out of that headspace, something else would happen to pull me right back into it. (Many, many things over the few days.) I had all this stuff I needed (still need) to do, and I just couldn’t. I didn’t feel like I could deal with any of it, and I said something I have never once (to my knowledge) said before this point.

“I can’t even be out here right now.” (My shed.)

So I played Skyrim. That was what I did. No matter how frustrating that game is or can be, I really felt like I just couldn’t. I don’t ever really get to the ‘I can’t work at all’ point because I’m always wanting to write. Getting other things done means I can get back to it, so I’m always wanting to do something.

I’ve woken up every day of the last few thinking, ‘Maybe today will be the day [where I’ll be able to get back to it].’ And it just kept not-happening. Got upset yesterday when I went inside because feeling like I couldn’t be out here is just . . . not right.

The shed is, like I said, my place to check the world at the door. I didn’t like feeling it had turned into something else. (The place where I got completely overwhelmed by absolutely everything and could do absolutely everything apart from what I want to do [write].)

It took me a really long time with this to realize that taking breaks for myself is alright. When my anxiety sets off for whatever reasons it does . . . it’s okay to take some time and recenter myself. (I’m talking about when my anxiety gets me to the ‘I can’t function right now’ point, which it occasionally does.) I guess that even though I know as much, it’s still difficult for me to put all the stuff I need to do out of my head. But I really think that not letting myself get to where I have been this week is important. I don’t want to get to ‘shut down mode’ ever again. I honestly felt like I’d just . . . crashed. (When you open your laptop, ready to work, and it shuts itself down with updates only to take FIVE YEARS to reboot. That’s something to compare it to, only it was a crash rather than a reboot.)

So I’m popping in to say that I’m not completely done with this pseudo-break. I think I’m going to take the rest of this week (which is almost over) and next week as well. I’m going to write, and I’m going to try to make a REALISTIC schedule for myself. (For writing/blogging/etc./etc./etc./etc./etc./etc.) I also need to figure out how to rearrange these questions for the video Q&A in order to split it into separate ones. I’d already had them arranged a certain way. Anyway, that’s on the to-do list as well – trying to tackle all that.

I think that just setting up something I know I can tackle will be best for me. That way I’m not stressing out about absences (because everyone will expect them) and whatnot. I’ll still be able to write. Theoretically.

I WILL be posting something tomorrow, so check back for that (if you want to).

And I’m not saying that I won’t be stopping in anywhere this week, only that I might not. I will be trying to get caught up with responding to emails/messages/comments/etc.

Hopefully this schedule thing will work out.

Sorry this was so long.

 

The battle continues . . .

Updates after an unplanned absence . . .

So, I’ve been completely absent for nearly a month now. I need to apologize for that.

(I’m sorry!)

It wasn’t planned. I wish I could blame Mercury being in retrograde again, but it is right now and honestly when it started is around the time I started getting everything straightened out. That would’ve made sense (or as much sense as Mercury in retrograde actually makes) as to what was going on with me several weeks ago. I don’t have the excuse.

Do you ever have one of those days where you’re just . . . bleh about everything? Of course you do. We all do.

I had a little more than a week of that. I don’t know what was up with it, but I seriously couldn’t force myself to do much of anything. I worked a little here and there, and just wasn’t feeling it no matter what I tried to work on. Wrote up a few blog posts during that time. Didn’t post them. Then I gave up and just played Skyrim until I felt a little more like myself. I take that back. I played Skyrim until I reached the point of, “I need to work regardless of how I feel. I’ve got too much s*** to do.” Then I worked until I felt more like myself.

I do have my theories to explain the weirdness. I think I was (and still am) overwhelmed. I was bogged down by not just trying to get this second book ready, but trying to get OTHER books ready (so I can eventually focus more attention on new things), also trying to work on new things, all the while trying to figure out how in the world to balance social stuff (at least the internet-sort). I’m used to working a lot (all the time) and prefer it that way, but I think I just hit some weird sort of breaking point that stole absolutely every bit of my motivation/drive. I did NOT like it. I’m used to being stoked to get out of bed every day so I can get to work.

There were also a few road blocks to getting book 2 ready, which left me kind of fumbling around not knowing what to do or what to say to anyone. So I stayed off everything until I would have something a bit more definitive to say.

Let’s see . . .

I have to delay book 2 a bit. Not long, but I was hoping to have it out within the next few days (with my projection). Not going to hit that projection. I don’t have a more set day yet, but I should be able to give everyone an update within a week or so. (*fingers crossed*)

I should have an update about the cover within the week as well. All I can say there is that it’s in the works.

I did (most of) another run-through of the trilogy. I’m currently part of the way through the last book, RIGHT AT the part where the time line flub starts. I wanted to be able to tell everyone I’d finally gotten that fixed, but I can’t because I haven’t.

I did some writing here and there on a few different things. The standalone short story that goes along with the Reave series, and also the ‘spin-off’ (of sorts). I actually got quite a lot done on the former of those.

Book 3 of the Reave Series is already in the hands of a beta-reader and has been for a couple weeks now. I’m really happy to report that people are liking the second book more than the first (LIKE ME!). I’m even happier to say that, last time I checked, my beta-reader was liking the third book even more than the second. (YAAAAAY! That’s SUCH a relief.)

Said beta-reader gave me cupcakes in exchange for B3, so I wasn’t joking before about taking bribes in all forms of cake. Not really. I was going to give her that one anyway, but I do love all forms of cake. By the way, THEY WERE THE MOST DELICIOUS CUPCAKES EVER. Not joking there, or exaggerating.

I passed on an opportunity to go back to Florida with my sister. I’ve been upset about that. I wanted to go, but there’s just TOO MUCH going on right now and I couldn’t justify being gone for ten days. Sad face.

I’ve been going back and forth about whether to release the third book in the Reave Series after the second, or to release the first in the trilogy. I haven’t decided yet. I’ve been wobbling about that for a few months now, but I’m leaning more toward first in the trilogy. That will all depend on a few variables, and I’ll keep you all updated either way.

Let’s see . . .

I went through books 3 & 4 in the RS as well during all this time. I didn’t print them out due to how few changes I made on book 2 the last run-through. Couldn’t justify ‘wasting’ money on the ink . . .

It gave me migraines. I hate going through books on screens, for so many reasons. I probably won’t do that again, ink costs or not. I really don’t know how people can use e-readers. >.< Well, I do know, but I just can’t do the ‘screen’ thing. I digress . . .

I think that’s really about it.

I just need to get my What’s in the works? page updated now to reflect all this and whatnot.

I’ll try to be on here a little more often. There will be a few days (hopefully soon) that I won’t be able to, due to busyness with B2, but I will definitely say something on here before that. I hope nobody else was bitten by the zero-motivation bug. That was seriously one of the worst things ever for me. I hope it never finds me again.

Preparing to work on book two in the Reave Series. :)

After a bit of a hectic time (again, hectic for me), the past few days or so have been the opposite. Granted, that was my doing so I shouldn’t act like I’m surprised, but it’s always surprising for me anytime I’m not working my brain off (??) trying to get stuff done. (Figured ‘brain’ would be better suited to the point.)

I found out a few days ago that Monday (today) would be when I got a beta-read copy of book 2 in the Reave Series back. I think that only reinforced what I was talking about a couple posts back in Writing and Releasing. Working on the RS was getting ready to take precedence in my life once more, and receiving the news as to when seemed to mentally put the new series on hold.

I’m picturing skewering all those characters to trees by their clothing and saying, “Just hang out there for a little while. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Promise I’ll come back for you.” I don’t even want to get into the shouting that would ensue or all the nasty remarks I would have said back to me. Something or other about human idiocy, I’m sure. That would of course be followed by (nearly) all of them trying to get themselves down, failing because I put them there, and then more than one threat about how one or more will ‘get me back’ for this. I’m sure they’ll be trying to get themselves down during this time, and that all the struggling will periodically draw my attention back to them. That’s a good thing, as long as I can get everything else done that needs to be done.

I’ve written a little bit. By ‘little bit,’ I mean LITTLE BIT. Book 3 has been even more difficult to get out than the others. I’m crossing my fingers that it really is to do with situations and timing rather than my ability (or lack thereof) to get this story out in general. I suppose I’ll figure that out in a couple months or so.

I’ll be honest, what I’ve mostly been doing the past couple days is playing Skyrim. I hate the load screens in that game. And tell me why I can’t fast travel from inside buildings so that I don’t have to sit through multiple load screens back-to-back. It makes absolutely no sense to me. Sometimes I wonder why I’m even playing it, despite how amazing it is. Husband has had so many random glitches in his games that make it to where you can’t even finish quests after however many hours spent playing, so why take the risk? Because it’s amazing, and ridiculously addictive, I suppose.

Anyway, I’m glad to be getting book 2 to prevent me from getting sucked as hard back into that as I potentially could’ve been. Also, I’m just glad to be getting it back in general, to get it one step closer to being ready for release.

I’m really looking forward to it. I always look forward to starting another run-through of book 2, but it’s going to be interesting to get more feedback from it, to see if things are taken the way I intend them to be. So far seems to be working out that way, from what I’ve already heard. I reckon I’ll see a bit later today.

I probably won’t be on here much over the next few days while I’m going through this. I might be, but I might not. I know I haven’t been on here much in general lately, but at least I’m giving a bit of warning this time. I keep trying to tell myself that once I get more of these books off my plate and released, I’ll have more time for other things. I’m sure I won’t though. I’ll probably just find something else to work on. Who knows though? I just know I have to keep myself busy or else I go insane. I mean, even when playing Skyrim, I make lists and the like. That’s just how I am, and it works.

So yep, I’ll be really busy over the next few days, working on book 2. I know some people are really wanting to read it (and I’m really wanting it to be read), so I’ll be getting it another step closer to that happening. 🙂

Playing Catch-Up: Birthday, Geographer, Skyrim, New Book

The last couple weeks have been a bit . . . hectic. I suppose that would be a word to call it, but I’m not entirely sure anyone else would agree with me. Hectic for me might be a little more appropriate. If I move out of my shed in general, that makes my life feel hectic. Silly, but that’s just how it is.

Between my last post and now, I had a birthday that put me one step closer to thirty. I still have a few more years left until that milestone, but it does feel somewhat strange to be undeniably closer to thirty than twenty. I think I said last year around this time that it was nice to finally ‘feel my age,’ but I guess the best way to say that is: “I’m finally at an age that’s closer to what I feel.” Or I’m getting there, I suppose.

Birthdays are a bitter time for me. (If anyone wants a good dose of [hilarious] bitterness, check out Bitter Ben‘s blog.) I don’t know why that is, but they just are. Maybe it’s the wrinkles I’m getting on my forehead from scrunching my face up all the time. (I guess parents are right when saying your face DOES stick that way. Mine is certainly doing as much. -_-) Every birthday is just another bit of validity as to why they’re showing up (those wrinkles). Maybe it’s just that I don’t like getting gifts. Maybe I don’t like the attention (I don’t, which is why I’m MORE THAN FINE with hardly anyone knowing when my birthday actually is).

Now, Husband knows I’m not the biggest fan of gifts. I’m also not a fan of surprises in general, as I like to have as much control over my life as possible (not really possible, but don’t burst my bubble with this). He got me a surprise before my birthday. That was two tickets for us to go see my favorite band, Geographer, again. After the initial overload of all the things I was going to have to mentally prepare myself for (PEOPLE?! I HAVE TO BE AROUND PEOPLE?!) and things I had to get sorted (I HAVE TO BE AWAKE AT A CERTAIN TIME?!), we were super excited about it. Cut to the evening of this show and there a line of storms sat, RIGHT OVER the interstate we would have to drive for a couple hours to reach our destination. Our car isn’t the best in the rain. I have anxiety attacks every time there’s a downpour here because our car is REALLY not the best in the rain.

As much as I love Geographer (which is such ridiculous amounts that you can’t even imagine), we discussed the situation and decided it wasn’t worth potentially dying over. They will tour again, and I will see them then. But I was sad. Very, very sad. I’m STILL sad.

You have NO IDEA how amazing they are live. Seriously. If they weren’t so amazing and I didn’t love them so much, I wouldn’t put myself in a crowded room of people that can all potentially bump into me. (Please excuse me while I go [mentally] vomit at the thought of being in such close proximity to that many people. Don’t ask me how you can mentally vomit. I do it all the time, but can’t explain it.)

Anyway. Sad.

If you’ve liked my Facebook page, then you might’ve seen the update on there where I was also complaining (on the night of that missed show) about how I had played Skyrim and couldn’t stop thinking about snowberries. Still having that problem, but it comes and goes. I played that again for a little while yesterday. Let me just say that I save that game a ridiculous amount of times due to all the anger and rage (*Jeremy Clarkson voice for ital. there*) I feel when dying and losing even five minutes of playing. (ALL THOSE ALCHEMY INGREDIENTS THAT I’LL HAVE TO PICK UP AGAIN!) So yeah, played it yesterday. Didn’t save for about an hour. Died. Lost all those alchemy ingredients. Turned it off.

I should write a post about WHY that game made me so angry that I couldn’t play it for such a long time. I might do that.

I know I haven’t been on here in a while (two weeks), but I did write up a few things that I may (or may not) post at some point in the future. They weren’t the typical book-type stuff. They had/have nothing to do with that at all and are essentially me just rambling off about random things. (Like Star Wars and Batman, not together.) Might post them at some point.

I’ve also been writing on the new book/series, which has (surprise, surprise) taken up most of my time. I had one night where I finished four chapters. (Longer ones.) Don’t ask me how. Most of the time was spent in the same way as before, with me having a bit of trouble (or more than) getting it out.  There was one night that I sat here trying to write, and at the halfway point of my awake time . . . I still hadn’t completed a chapter. It’s been frustrating, but despite the odds . . .

I HAVE FINISHED WRITING THE SECOND BOOK OF THIS NEW SERIES.

It both went how I intended and didn’t at the same time. Certain things (all of it) took longer than I thought they would take, which caused me to leave it off before I was sure it would be left off. I suppose that doesn’t matter. This series is kind of different from any of the others I’ve done. Every book in those other ones have been one part of a larger whole. This entire series is just . . . one long story rather than the individual pieces. At least it’s seeming to look that way.

I don’t know if I said before, but I’ve written one of my favorite characters ever in this series. Probably my second-favorite non-MC ever. That’s made it a lot more fun than I think it would’ve been if he wasn’t there. Anyway, I need to update my What’s in the works? page now that I’ve finished that one up.

On to the next, I suppose.

Hope everyone has been well! 🙂

Also, I’m going to see Godzilla this weekend and I am STOKED. O.o

Sorry this was so long. I’ve been trying to keep them shorter, but it’s been a while . . .

I’ve been doing stuff.

Last time I was on here, Fable was consuming my life. I’m glad to say I finished that all up (for the most part) a few days after. I guess the awesome thing about cutting back on posts for whatever reason(s) is that I feel like I actually have some stuff to say.

The past couple weeks have gone like this:

Finished Fable 3. Rather than writing on the new book, I’ve been editing the trilogy. I started going to the gym with my sister and my husband. Feeling better in a lot of ways because of that. I have more energy and am somehow more tired at the same time. I got distracted early into editing the last book of that trilogy (a couple days ago). I was looking through Herald’s memory and realized that I’m missing part of the spin-off I started writing for that one. I wanted to break the world that day (because I HATE REWRITING). Doing more work was out of the question with all the anger and rage, so I tried out what I was talking about in ALL THE COLORS. It did not work. Yesterday I didn’t work at all, which was mostly due to timing and other plans. Husband and I went to see Divergent. I was PLEASANTLY surprised by it and I really think it’s one of the best YA book-to-movie adaptations so far. (Side-note: The Maze Runner looks amazing, but I haven’t read the books yet. Might wait on that.) After returning home from all that, it was too late to go to sleep because I had a basketball game to watch last night and there was no hope in the world I could sleep for a few hours and wake up for it. I was up for about 24 hours. I did not make it long enough to watch the game. (I’m so thankful for DVR.) Now here we are.

I’ll admit that I didn’t realize it had been QUITE as long as it had since I’d been on here last. I guess I was just really caught up in editing, but I reckon that’s understandable when it’s been such a long time since going through that trilogy. It’s been difficult trying to work on it because there are just SO many details, and all the time that’s passed, etc.

Still, I’ve been pleasantly surprised by that as well. It definitely has it’s problems, but most of them are fix-able. (Apart from anything having to do with my capabilities. There’s also the timeline flub in the last that I’m STILL not quite sure how to fix.) I really think it won’t be long before I’m ready to let that one be read, which I mentioned on Facebook after finishing up with the second. There’s something in the first that I definitely need an opinion on. My mom has been asking me about it, but I’m terrified to let her read that one despite asking her to. O.o

I’m not sure how often I’ll be on here. I really want to get that trilogy (closer-to) ready. I just feel better in general when I don’t have a list of five million (exaggeration) things I need to be working on all at the same time. If I get that one to the ‘wait point’ (where the Reave Series currently is), then it will just be writing until the first ‘wait’ is no longer a ‘wait’. (Then more editing…)

At least I’ve been doing what I know I need to where the books are concerned (which is editing and not-writing), even if it bums me out a bit. I’ll get there eventually. I just want to have them as close to ready as I can get them.

So yeah, I’m really not sure how often I’ll be on here to say one way or the other, but just know that I’m working (for the most part) and trying to get more books ready to be released for those who are waiting. 🙂

I really hope everyone has been well the past couple weeks and whatnot. 🙂