I’m giving in . . .

should be doing my Friday music post today, but I’m not going to. I actually have a song I want to put up, but I’d just post this immediately after and I don’t want that song to get lost in the sauce, soooo . . . I’ll wait for it. (If anyone watches Psych, feel free to hear Shawn pulling one of his ‘wait for it’ moments there, even though it’s not really applicable. Just fun.)

This blog entry is part apology, part update, part . . . something.

I’ve fallen behind on everything. Email responses, messages, comments on here, Twitter. I’m just behind. I don’t know how it happened, really, but it totally did. So, I’m sorry for that.

I finished inputting the changes from this run-through of B3 (hitting the halfway point where adding became nearly impossible REALLY helped speed things up) just a few minutes ago. This means:

I am getting ready to start inputting the changes from the LAST edit of B4, so I can do another run(inch)-through of that one. (I’ll add here that I absolutely freaking DESPISE inputting changes). This means:

I will PROBABLY not be on here often.

A) Having to do two IC sessions in a row makes me EXTREMELY miserable (which is why I occasionally put them off until they need to be done). It will be DAYS of doing this (already a couple in), and that puts me in an EXTREMELY bad mood.

B) No matter how many times I go through B4 . . . I always get caught up in it. I can’t help it. It’s my favorite.

C) I started writing here and there the other day, just for an hour or two at a time. But what I was/am writing is a side-story to the Reave series, and it involves my favorite character (Aster does not count). Meaning . . . I want to write it. Granted, it’s sucking puh-retty bad at the moment, but still.

I don’t know what it is about the past week, but I just feel like I’ve been struggling to get a leg up on anything I need to do, and it’s been making me miserable. Yes, I’d been pretty good about keeping to the schedule, and that is a BIG accomplishment for me. But I think I just need to take a bit of time to myself right now and chill out. That does NOT mean I won’t be working. It means I WILL be working.

That also doesn’t mean that I won’t make posts on here, but I think I’m just stressing myself out with all the NEED-TO-DO’s. So while I’m doing all that book-related stuff, I’m going to be whittling away at the emails I need to respond to, the comments I need to respond to, etc. etc. I’m going to try to catch up rather than get myself farther behind, which is all I seem to be doing at the moment.

And I’m going to enjoy myself by going through B4 again after another miserable day or two spent on IC. I really, really hate doing that. I’m going to get started on that tonight, and hopefully will finish it up tomorrow if I power through.

But yeah, I might make a few posts here and there, and I’m going to get back to the schedule. I just don’t know if that’s going to be on this coming Wednesday or a month from now. I don’t know. I’ll be on here (and Twitter, etc.) when I can. I might not be gone long at all. I’m not sure yet. That will depend on how long it takes me to catch up on everything. (Yes, everyone can add here that it wouldn’t take me so long to respond to things if I didn’t write mini-novels almost every time.)

I really know I should be focusing on promotion and all that, but I suck at it anyway. So, if you’ve read Reave and like it . . . tell your friends and neighbors (and random people passing), please. I just need to take a bit of a break from feeling like I suck at life, and I’ve been living in a nearly-constant state of that for a while now (minus a few tiny spots of time here and there).

I might feel better about that at some point.

I’ve been trying to tell myself this entire time that ‘disappearing’ is bad, and that it wouldn’t help anything, but . . . I think it will. I need to get in a better headspace because there is absolutely no point in being miserable, and I’m making myself miserable with all the stressing.

Please be patient with me while I try to get caught up on all this, and . . .

Please don’t forget about me. :/

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New Year’s Eve Breakfast Pie. O.o

It only seems a bit fitting that my 100th post on here is coming on the last day of the year. I can’t say I have a crapton of resolutions (I stopped making lists of those a long time ago), but I do have goals I intend on reaching in 2014. I’ll keep them to myself to ensure no jinxing takes place.

I can’t remember the first time I heard, “What you do on New Year’s is how you’ll spend the rest of your year.”

It’s BS, obviously. I can’t remember a single New Year’s that set the tone for an entire year. Still, on the off-chance that it might work this year, I have a plan for the next two days…

As I sit here eating my breakfast pie (yes, I am eating pie – my favorite pie, actually – for breakfast, and I am eating breakfast at 3PM), I’m determined to spend the next two days doing a few things. I’m going to edit the fourth (and last) book in the Reave series, because I effing love that one and I want to do it. I’m not going to freak out about how far behind I am at responding to comments on here, or on Twitter. I’m not going to stress out about Reave. In fact, I have absolutely zero intention of stressing out about anything. We’ll see if I can accomplish that, but it’s the plan.

So give me a couple more days to be behind and then I’ll catch up. I think I’ve given myself about a thousand more grey hairs (which will get dyed over when they grow out, just like the rest -_-) since Christmas eve alone, because all I’ve been doing is freaking out about how behind I am. So…I’m putting it out of my head to ensure I don’t lose my mind.

Gonna hang out with some of my family this evening. Do as much editing as I can fit in. And you know what? I might do a bit of gaming between now and the end of my little mental-well-being-break. I dunno. I might even eat more pie. We shall see.

Wish me luck on not stressing. And I wish that all of you have an absolutely spectacular New Year’s and new year. 🙂

Self-publishing.

Yeah. I’m doing it.

I know, I know. I said I was going to attempt querying and do the whole shebang (get an agent and we all lived happily ever after with a picket fence and 2.4 dogs, er, kids).

Anyone who’s been following my blog for a little while knows I flopped back and forth about it (don’t we all?). I spent so much time weighing the pros and cons of each – carefully and meticulously – until all cons blurred with pros and pros were cons and cons were . . . um . . . what’s going on? That was basically how it went in my head for a very long time, so I told my husband to make a decision on it. I was content with that for about a day or two, and then the mental-flopping began again. I didn’t want to blog about it because I wanted to get it sorted in my head.

I realized, after speaking with so many people, that this was a decision only I could make.

I started looking into cover artists just for curiosities sake and found one that I LOVED.

For about four days, I did nothing but flop around mentally afterward. I mulled over the word author. I’ve said it before that I will NOT call myself one unless the word aspiring is in front of it. Not yet.

One night, I looked up the definition of it. I kind of had a moment. There was no ‘traditionally published’ in the definition, of course. For one of those days, I contemplated over the word – what it meant, what it meant to other people, and what it meant to me.

Rather than focus on pros and cons, I started focusing on why. Why did I want to be published traditionally? What was drawing me to self-publishing despite the stars and rainbows and glitter of the P and the T together?

When thinking about the why . . . it fell into place.

I don’t need a publishing contract to accomplish what I’ve wanted to accomplish with this. All I want is for ONE person out there to love my books – to make an impact on a person the way that some books have impacted me. I don’t need a P and a T together for that. I don’t.

So I made the decision about a week and a half ago and I haven’t looked back since.

There hasn’t been one single flop from me, or even one second of doubting the choice I’ve made.

I don’t like posting things on here unless they’re set in stone. I’m feeling comfortable with sharing now.

I’ve been arranging things with that love-inducing cover artist and the photographer. I love them both. Seriously. Details are being figured out and things are being put in motion.

My editor had to extend the date of finishing my novel, so I won’t have it back until early to mid-October. I’m trying to get everything done that can be done until that point.

As of now, I’m shooting for early December. That’s going to depend on how everything works out, but now . . . I’ll be able to keep you all updated.

It’s so freaking weird having things moving. I spent such a long time feeling like my entire world was at a standstill.

Anyway. No more waiting. It’s time to start letting them go. I’m worried, of course, but . . . I’m feeling good. I’m excited. I never thought I’d be more excited than stressed/nervous, but . . . I am.

Wish me luck. I’m definitely going to need it.

O.O