Updates after an unplanned absence . . .

So, I’ve been completely absent for nearly a month now. I need to apologize for that.

(I’m sorry!)

It wasn’t planned. I wish I could blame Mercury being in retrograde again, but it is right now and honestly when it started is around the time I started getting everything straightened out. That would’ve made sense (or as much sense as Mercury in retrograde actually makes) as to what was going on with me several weeks ago. I don’t have the excuse.

Do you ever have one of those days where you’re just . . . bleh about everything? Of course you do. We all do.

I had a little more than a week of that. I don’t know what was up with it, but I seriously couldn’t force myself to do much of anything. I worked a little here and there, and just wasn’t feeling it no matter what I tried to work on. Wrote up a few blog posts during that time. Didn’t post them. Then I gave up and just played Skyrim until I felt a little more like myself. I take that back. I played Skyrim until I reached the point of, “I need to work regardless of how I feel. I’ve got too much s*** to do.” Then I worked until I felt more like myself.

I do have my theories to explain the weirdness. I think I was (and still am) overwhelmed. I was bogged down by not just trying to get this second book ready, but trying to get OTHER books ready (so I can eventually focus more attention on new things), also trying to work on new things, all the while trying to figure out how in the world to balance social stuff (at least the internet-sort). I’m used to working a lot (all the time) and prefer it that way, but I think I just hit some weird sort of breaking point that stole absolutely every bit of my motivation/drive. I did NOT like it. I’m used to being stoked to get out of bed every day so I can get to work.

There were also a few road blocks to getting book 2 ready, which left me kind of fumbling around not knowing what to do or what to say to anyone. So I stayed off everything until I would have something a bit more definitive to say.

Let’s see . . .

I have to delay book 2 a bit. Not long, but I was hoping to have it out within the next few days (with my projection). Not going to hit that projection. I don’t have a more set day yet, but I should be able to give everyone an update within a week or so. (*fingers crossed*)

I should have an update about the cover within the week as well. All I can say there is that it’s in the works.

I did (most of) another run-through of the trilogy. I’m currently part of the way through the last book, RIGHT AT the part where the time line flub starts. I wanted to be able to tell everyone I’d finally gotten that fixed, but I can’t because I haven’t.

I did some writing here and there on a few different things. The standalone short story that goes along with the Reave series, and also the ‘spin-off’ (of sorts). I actually got quite a lot done on the former of those.

Book 3 of the Reave Series is already in the hands of a beta-reader and has been for a couple weeks now. I’m really happy to report that people are liking the second book more than the first (LIKE ME!). I’m even happier to say that, last time I checked, my beta-reader was liking the third book even more than the second. (YAAAAAY! That’s SUCH a relief.)

Said beta-reader gave me cupcakes in exchange for B3, so I wasn’t joking before about taking bribes in all forms of cake. Not really. I was going to give her that one anyway, but I do love all forms of cake. By the way, THEY WERE THE MOST DELICIOUS CUPCAKES EVER. Not joking there, or exaggerating.

I passed on an opportunity to go back to Florida with my sister. I’ve been upset about that. I wanted to go, but there’s just TOO MUCH going on right now and I couldn’t justify being gone for ten days. Sad face.

I’ve been going back and forth about whether to release the third book in the Reave Series after the second, or to release the first in the trilogy. I haven’t decided yet. I’ve been wobbling about that for a few months now, but I’m leaning more toward first in the trilogy. That will all depend on a few variables, and I’ll keep you all updated either way.

Let’s see . . .

I went through books 3 & 4 in the RS as well during all this time. I didn’t print them out due to how few changes I made on book 2 the last run-through. Couldn’t justify ‘wasting’ money on the ink . . .

It gave me migraines. I hate going through books on screens, for so many reasons. I probably won’t do that again, ink costs or not. I really don’t know how people can use e-readers. >.< Well, I do know, but I just can’t do the ‘screen’ thing. I digress . . .

I think that’s really about it.

I just need to get my What’s in the works? page updated now to reflect all this and whatnot.

I’ll try to be on here a little more often. There will be a few days (hopefully soon) that I won’t be able to, due to busyness with B2, but I will definitely say something on here before that. I hope nobody else was bitten by the zero-motivation bug. That was seriously one of the worst things ever for me. I hope it never finds me again.

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Preparing to work on book two in the Reave Series. :)

After a bit of a hectic time (again, hectic for me), the past few days or so have been the opposite. Granted, that was my doing so I shouldn’t act like I’m surprised, but it’s always surprising for me anytime I’m not working my brain off (??) trying to get stuff done. (Figured ‘brain’ would be better suited to the point.)

I found out a few days ago that Monday (today) would be when I got a beta-read copy of book 2 in the Reave Series back. I think that only reinforced what I was talking about a couple posts back in Writing and Releasing. Working on the RS was getting ready to take precedence in my life once more, and receiving the news as to when seemed to mentally put the new series on hold.

I’m picturing skewering all those characters to trees by their clothing and saying, “Just hang out there for a little while. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Promise I’ll come back for you.” I don’t even want to get into the shouting that would ensue or all the nasty remarks I would have said back to me. Something or other about human idiocy, I’m sure. That would of course be followed by (nearly) all of them trying to get themselves down, failing because I put them there, and then more than one threat about how one or more will ‘get me back’ for this. I’m sure they’ll be trying to get themselves down during this time, and that all the struggling will periodically draw my attention back to them. That’s a good thing, as long as I can get everything else done that needs to be done.

I’ve written a little bit. By ‘little bit,’ I mean LITTLE BIT. Book 3 has been even more difficult to get out than the others. I’m crossing my fingers that it really is to do with situations and timing rather than my ability (or lack thereof) to get this story out in general. I suppose I’ll figure that out in a couple months or so.

I’ll be honest, what I’ve mostly been doing the past couple days is playing Skyrim. I hate the load screens in that game. And tell me why I can’t fast travel from inside buildings so that I don’t have to sit through multiple load screens back-to-back. It makes absolutely no sense to me. Sometimes I wonder why I’m even playing it, despite how amazing it is. Husband has had so many random glitches in his games that make it to where you can’t even finish quests after however many hours spent playing, so why take the risk? Because it’s amazing, and ridiculously addictive, I suppose.

Anyway, I’m glad to be getting book 2 to prevent me from getting sucked as hard back into that as I potentially could’ve been. Also, I’m just glad to be getting it back in general, to get it one step closer to being ready for release.

I’m really looking forward to it. I always look forward to starting another run-through of book 2, but it’s going to be interesting to get more feedback from it, to see if things are taken the way I intend them to be. So far seems to be working out that way, from what I’ve already heard. I reckon I’ll see a bit later today.

I probably won’t be on here much over the next few days while I’m going through this. I might be, but I might not. I know I haven’t been on here much in general lately, but at least I’m giving a bit of warning this time. I keep trying to tell myself that once I get more of these books off my plate and released, I’ll have more time for other things. I’m sure I won’t though. I’ll probably just find something else to work on. Who knows though? I just know I have to keep myself busy or else I go insane. I mean, even when playing Skyrim, I make lists and the like. That’s just how I am, and it works.

So yep, I’ll be really busy over the next few days, working on book 2. I know some people are really wanting to read it (and I’m really wanting it to be read), so I’ll be getting it another step closer to that happening. 🙂

Playing Catch-Up: Birthday, Geographer, Skyrim, New Book

The last couple weeks have been a bit . . . hectic. I suppose that would be a word to call it, but I’m not entirely sure anyone else would agree with me. Hectic for me might be a little more appropriate. If I move out of my shed in general, that makes my life feel hectic. Silly, but that’s just how it is.

Between my last post and now, I had a birthday that put me one step closer to thirty. I still have a few more years left until that milestone, but it does feel somewhat strange to be undeniably closer to thirty than twenty. I think I said last year around this time that it was nice to finally ‘feel my age,’ but I guess the best way to say that is: “I’m finally at an age that’s closer to what I feel.” Or I’m getting there, I suppose.

Birthdays are a bitter time for me. (If anyone wants a good dose of [hilarious] bitterness, check out Bitter Ben‘s blog.) I don’t know why that is, but they just are. Maybe it’s the wrinkles I’m getting on my forehead from scrunching my face up all the time. (I guess parents are right when saying your face DOES stick that way. Mine is certainly doing as much. -_-) Every birthday is just another bit of validity as to why they’re showing up (those wrinkles). Maybe it’s just that I don’t like getting gifts. Maybe I don’t like the attention (I don’t, which is why I’m MORE THAN FINE with hardly anyone knowing when my birthday actually is).

Now, Husband knows I’m not the biggest fan of gifts. I’m also not a fan of surprises in general, as I like to have as much control over my life as possible (not really possible, but don’t burst my bubble with this). He got me a surprise before my birthday. That was two tickets for us to go see my favorite band, Geographer, again. After the initial overload of all the things I was going to have to mentally prepare myself for (PEOPLE?! I HAVE TO BE AROUND PEOPLE?!) and things I had to get sorted (I HAVE TO BE AWAKE AT A CERTAIN TIME?!), we were super excited about it. Cut to the evening of this show and there a line of storms sat, RIGHT OVER the interstate we would have to drive for a couple hours to reach our destination. Our car isn’t the best in the rain. I have anxiety attacks every time there’s a downpour here because our car is REALLY not the best in the rain.

As much as I love Geographer (which is such ridiculous amounts that you can’t even imagine), we discussed the situation and decided it wasn’t worth potentially dying over. They will tour again, and I will see them then. But I was sad. Very, very sad. I’m STILL sad.

You have NO IDEA how amazing they are live. Seriously. If they weren’t so amazing and I didn’t love them so much, I wouldn’t put myself in a crowded room of people that can all potentially bump into me. (Please excuse me while I go [mentally] vomit at the thought of being in such close proximity to that many people. Don’t ask me how you can mentally vomit. I do it all the time, but can’t explain it.)

Anyway. Sad.

If you’ve liked my Facebook page, then you might’ve seen the update on there where I was also complaining (on the night of that missed show) about how I had played Skyrim and couldn’t stop thinking about snowberries. Still having that problem, but it comes and goes. I played that again for a little while yesterday. Let me just say that I save that game a ridiculous amount of times due to all the anger and rage (*Jeremy Clarkson voice for ital. there*) I feel when dying and losing even five minutes of playing. (ALL THOSE ALCHEMY INGREDIENTS THAT I’LL HAVE TO PICK UP AGAIN!) So yeah, played it yesterday. Didn’t save for about an hour. Died. Lost all those alchemy ingredients. Turned it off.

I should write a post about WHY that game made me so angry that I couldn’t play it for such a long time. I might do that.

I know I haven’t been on here in a while (two weeks), but I did write up a few things that I may (or may not) post at some point in the future. They weren’t the typical book-type stuff. They had/have nothing to do with that at all and are essentially me just rambling off about random things. (Like Star Wars and Batman, not together.) Might post them at some point.

I’ve also been writing on the new book/series, which has (surprise, surprise) taken up most of my time. I had one night where I finished four chapters. (Longer ones.) Don’t ask me how. Most of the time was spent in the same way as before, with me having a bit of trouble (or more than) getting it out.  There was one night that I sat here trying to write, and at the halfway point of my awake time . . . I still hadn’t completed a chapter. It’s been frustrating, but despite the odds . . .

I HAVE FINISHED WRITING THE SECOND BOOK OF THIS NEW SERIES.

It both went how I intended and didn’t at the same time. Certain things (all of it) took longer than I thought they would take, which caused me to leave it off before I was sure it would be left off. I suppose that doesn’t matter. This series is kind of different from any of the others I’ve done. Every book in those other ones have been one part of a larger whole. This entire series is just . . . one long story rather than the individual pieces. At least it’s seeming to look that way.

I don’t know if I said before, but I’ve written one of my favorite characters ever in this series. Probably my second-favorite non-MC ever. That’s made it a lot more fun than I think it would’ve been if he wasn’t there. Anyway, I need to update my What’s in the works? page now that I’ve finished that one up.

On to the next, I suppose.

Hope everyone has been well! 🙂

Also, I’m going to see Godzilla this weekend and I am STOKED. O.o

Sorry this was so long. I’ve been trying to keep them shorter, but it’s been a while . . .

Writing and Releasing . . .

I wasn’t actively writing on a different series around the time I released Reave. I honestly can’t remember what I was doing when it came time for me to say, “All right, this is what I’m focusing on and there’s nothing else in the world.” I don’t even think I was editing, but I could be wrong about that when considering all I did work-wise for months and months was EDITEDITEDIT. I honestly don’t know and I’m feeling too lazy to look back through my blog and check. Yes, I am that forgetful, where I would need to go through here to figure out what I was doing at any given time. (I know when I wrote whichever books, but apart from that, everything blurs.)

You see . . . I have a one-track mind. I do one thing until I’m done with it, then I move on. If I try to do something else, I’m constantly thinking about the one thing. That distracts me from doing anything else satisfactorily. Such is life. Anyway, I’ve been trying to get better with that, and there for a while . . . I was. I was doing the time-splitting thing, where I would be on here/Twitter/etc. for half my work hours, then editing (because I wasn’t writing at that time) for the rest. But the honest truth is that it drives me insane. I don’t like to be fixating on something when I’m doing something else. That worked better with editing than it did/does with writing. I get ‘editing-brain’ a few hours in, and everything turns into a haze of WORDS, so cutting the time isn’t a bad idea there. (Obviously it worked better when editing, because I haven’t been on here often since I started writing the new series.)

I’m on the second book of that new series (which—as of now—is comprised of an undetermined number of books), and I’m a pretty decent amount through it at that. It currently rests at about 40k words. That’s approximately halfway through where I typically leave them off when writing. By the time I’m through editing, they usually end up at around 100k. It works for me. I was going to explain about my editing and why it goes the way it does, but that’s a bigger digression than I intended in this so I’m just going to leave it now and save it for a different entry.

My point is that I’m right in the thick of this story. The first book (foundation) is over, and it’s getting bigger, more exciting, etc.

Here is my issue (of sorts, but not really):

New Series will have to be put on the back-burner while I refocus on the Reave Series. I’ll be having to get book 2 ready. After it’s released, I’ll do another edit of books 3 and 4 before anything else. That’s just the way it goes. I work in straight lines.

I’m wondering if that’s been my issue with writing over the past week and a half/two weeks or so. In the back of my mind, I know I’m getting ready to have to turn onto a different road and switch gears. I think I’m already sort of distancing myself from this new one, and yes, that’s all good and whatnot (it’s what I have to do). But it makes me sad. While the writing (so far) isn’t as good as I’ll say the trilogy I wrote between the Reave Series and this one was/is . . . it’s the most fun I’ve had since. At least the most consistent fun. It’s not as stressful as the trilogy was (and still is when editing). I don’t have the knowledge that I will NEVER RELEASE IT in my head like I did with the other trilogy I started between the trilogy I did finish and this. (Sorry, that was a bit confusing.) I’m sad because it’s been a thoroughly enjoyable experience thus far (apart from when I hit a brick wall at the beginning and spent a month trying to figure out how to get around it).

I guess that doesn’t matter.

The Reave Series gets top priority for now because out of ALL THESE BOOKS Herald (again, laptop) is storing for me . . . it’s the only one that’s RTG. (Or as close to ready-to-go as it currently can be.)

Don’t ask me what I’m going to do when I have the last bit of the Reave series RTG, along with the trilogy AND this new series. Admittedly, the latter probably won’t be at that point until book 4 is out. I say that, but who really knows? That will all depend on time between releases and how much attention I get to focus on it.

I only have one more edit on the trilogy before I’m ready for beta-readers to get their hands on it. I’m not going to do that until after I finish writing this one and do the first run-through of it. I should. I know I should, but still. Not gonna.

Wow, I rambled like crazy in this.

My apologies.

The entire point is that I’m having to switch gears.

Book 2 is already in the hands of a couple beta-readers, and the instant I get the first of those back . . .

I won’t be able to touch this new one for quite a while.

BUT . . . I am SO EXCITED that I’ll be releasing it soon. I like it so much better than the first, and I’m really looking forward to seeing if everyone else does as well. 🙂

End-note: After all the confusion of explaining which series and whatnot . . . I really feel like I should make a new page on here that explains all of them (as much as I will). Like, “Hey, this is what’s in the works, this is what I’ve done, and this is what I’m doing RIGHT NOW.” Then I could consistently update it (as much as I consistently update ANYTHING), and maybe it won’t be as confusing.

Maybe that would make it worse . . .

I don’t know.

Hm. Also thinking about making a FAQ page . . .

 

Sorry. This was all over the place.

I’m doing it again…

Blog-neglecting, or neglecting all social media(ish) things. Come on, give me a little credit. This isn’t like the last time I got sucked into writing (please excuse me while I go cry about how long it’s been since I’ve written), where I would disappear for three weeks at a time and pop in every so often for nothing more than the following: “Oh, hey there. I know it seems like it, but I haven’t forgotten about you. I’ve just been trying to keep you out of my head while I did other things.” (‘You’ isn’t any person. It’s the blog in general, just to clarify.)

It’s not THAT bad…

The cause for this short (in comparison) hiatus was due to printing out the fourth book in the Reave series for editing. As soon as I saw some of the words, I worried I would disappear for a bit. Still, I was determined not to because I was just getting the hang of this time-splitting thing.

Needless to say, the instant I sat down and opened it for editing………….Well…here I am with a few little blog entries between then and now. I think. I lose track of the days and I honestly can’t remember when I actually started working on that one…

(Give me some credit AND a break. I hadn’t read 2, 3, and 4 in about a year and I WAS SO HAPPY.)

Anyway, once I finished up with that, I started inputting the changes from Book 2. I needed to get done with that because I have to hurry up and get the newest copy to my friend for revisions. And I can’t do THAT until I go through it…again. (I have problems!) If you’re wondering, I’m running out of space from all these books printed out for editing, that’s one problem. (Sorry, trees (*sadface*).) I was also running out of space on my work table with all the empty pens from editing, but that’s cleaned up now…

I’m telling myself that things will calm back down whenever I have Book 2 out of my hands and don’t feel the need to rushrushrush. Honestly, I don’t even know WHY I’m rushing. Yes, several people have said they can’t wait for the next one, but I’m not anywhere near able to release it as of yet. I really am hoping for a decent time frame on it though…

I don’t really know if I’m rushing because I’ve been stressing out so much about all the interacting. Maybe that’s part of it. I actually think I’ve gotten a bit better at it, but I still feel like a moron every time I tweet anything and I still feel like a moron when I comment anywhere on WP. I’ll say my brain is only at half functionality whenever I do. Also, I type faster than I think sometimes (pretty much all the time), which makes me worry about some of the things I say to people. I’m rambling right now. Do you see what I mean about the typing?!

Someone please tell me why interrobangs aren’t okay to use. I think they should be.

(Hey, C. This is the point where you remind yourself that you self-publish to do whatever the hell you want.)

(Oh yeah…)

*cough*

Anyway!(??) I’m just gonna……go……

Yeah.

Hope everyone is doing well! And be sure to enter the GoodReads giveaway for Reave if you haven’t done so (and want to)! 🙂

And if you don’t want to wait, you can go over to Amazon and find it there. People seem to be liking it, for some reason…

(Also, I’m hoping to get back to my normal blogging schedule, which includes my ‘Friday Music’ posts and absolutely nothing else apart from whatever I can come up with between Fridays. Also, it was VERY COLD yesterday and I couldn’t stay out in my shed to do anything. Another sadface moment there, but I DID get a bit of gaming in…)

Aster

Reave has been live for…seventeen days now, and I’m no closer to accepting it being ‘out there’ as I was when I said I was trying to maintain some semblance of dissociation from it for my mental well-being. Somewhere in my mind I’m completely acknowledging the fact that, yes, it is out there and, yes, people are reading/have read/will read it. The positive feedback has blown my mind, I’ll say that again. (I’ll probably keep saying it.) Seeing people post things about it on Facebook, or randomly finding a new review has just been…fantastic. (I could make a comment here about Blades of Glory and the ‘mind-bottling’ remark.)

In a commenting back-and-forth with Ben from over at BensBitterBlog (If you’ve never seen his blog…you need to), I got inspired to post an entry. This is it, by the way. And this entry right here is entirely (mostly, knowing me) about the main character in Reave, Aster.

I’d contemplated making a post about her before, but that’s tricky for me. One of the things I’m most looking forward to as the series goes along – receiving input about it – is hearing opinions on Aster’s development. So what can I say without giving away too much? That’s the question.

I’ve felt it was almost impossible to dance around characters in a blog entry because the characters dance around themselves in the books. (Spend a moment trying to imagine how that works. If anyone figures out how it’s possible, let me know. I’m at a loss. Made sense in my head.) So what could really be said?

There’s never been much of a debate over whether I was going to write about something on here. If I wanted to, I did. If I maybe did, I didn’t. Simple as that. (An example to the contrary is the post I made about sleeping. I’d take it down if it wasn’t the entry that got the most hits off Google. And it might be a bit evil of me, but I seriously LOVE the search terms I occasionally see because of it.)

The point of that digression is: When having to ask myself so many questions about if I DID want to write about her, to let people get to know her a bit more…The answer was no, due to the questioning involved. But I think I might be able to manage it (if I could EVER get to the point in an entry).

Aster began as a product of my first series. The main character in it was……a brute, to be honest. It was fun at first, but then it was just…too much. (She was also an absolute MORON, but that is NOT the point.) So when I sat down to write Reave – putting the Reapers out of my mind and focusing on the MC – I knew…I wanted her to start weak. Now, if you’ve read Reave, or if you’ve even read a BIT of Reave, you probably already know…

Aster is ANYTHING but weak.

Mentally.

Even from the get-go, she looked at me and said, “I will not have this.” So, I wrote her how she was, then got dragged along behind her (and a few other characters) for the four books I’ve written and all the bits of ones I’ve only written in my head. I don’t have a problem saying that’s how she is. It’s apparent from Chapter One.

I’ll admit there were times during my multiple edits where I sat here in my chair, openmouthed, over certain aspects. You see, it’s probably not that noticeable with the first, but these books were made to be re-read. I know a lot of people aren’t re-readers, and that’s fine. I feel you can read through each book once and find yourself satisfied (unless you hate it/them, in which case…I’m sorry). I can’t say I designed them that way (I wrote them, but being a pantser…I only have so much to do with it), but I can say I tweaked it to make it fit the way it naturally wanted to be. And the series says, “I promise you’ll find something you didn’t the first time if you just READ ME AGAIN after you hit a certain point.”

Then again, I found things I didn’t initially find when reading through Twilight more than once. So………………………………………………………………………………………………

*cough*

The point of the most recent digression is: Aster.

I’ve written…six female protagonists, at least bits of them, depending on how far into their stories I currently am. (Seven if you count a spin-off series that goes in a different timeline where the MC is essentially an entirely different person. Please don’t ask.) I can’t say this series was my best WRITING (I can’t tell you how much I wish it was), meaning in the technical aspect or whatever. But I can without a doubt, one-hundred-freaking-percent say…Aster is, and will always be, my favorite main character that I’ve ever written/will ever write. And honestly? That’s WAY more important to me.

There’s the growth, for one thing. But for another? She SCARES me. I look at some parts of the books, and I get freaked out. And this isn’t a ‘she could kick my a**’ freaked out, it’s a ‘……how did she come out of my head?’ freaked out.

She’s damaged (we all are, and she has good reason just like any person). She has her flaws (the lack of knowledge about normal human-type things could definitely be considered one, but by god…it was fun at some points). Her moral compass is occasionally………..askew (then again, moral compasses being askew is all a matter of personal opinion). But there are so many things I love about her.

The ability to overcome anything put in her way (maybe not in the most…fantastic way, but overcoming is overcoming). The drive and determination to fight for what she believes in. Her willingness to accept the bad but see the good (again, how did she come from my head?). She’s fiercely loyal (as long as it’s deserved). There is a whole list of things I COULD say, but CAN’T say without giving too much away. Still, there’s one more I can put on the list, and it’s up at the tippity-top.

The most amazing thing about her? She CONSTANTLY surprised me, even AFTER I’d written her. Every time I thought I knew her, I would find something and realize…I’d been wrong. And why this series will always be my favorite? Because I was constantly surprised over one thing or another, even after the fact, and I wrote it. O.o

I’ve gotten a lot of crap from people who’ve already read the first book. No one can understand my issue with it (I’m still wondering how no one understands my issue with it where the writing is concerned, but that’s not what I’m currently talking about here). All I can say to that is…

Wait and see. 🙂

Things are always better after the foundation is built, but that’s just my opinion…

By the way, I’ve heard/seen something twice that has given me the most stupendous feeling.

Our Aster. People have referred to her as our Aster.

That is….amazing. Because having anyone love her that much – people feeling connected to her? What else could I ask for?

Time-splitting and other things…

It’s been several days since I blogged last, mostly because I haven’t felt like I had anything worth saying. I know I can’t be the only person out there who feels that way… (What am I doing on here again?)

I’ve been drawing a blank on ideas to write about, but I reckon I’ll settle for the most relevant topic(s) for me at the moment.

I mentioned on my Facebook page that I was trying out this thing called ‘time-splitting.’ I’m pleased to report….

It’s working.

I’d been trying to figure out how to balance my time for so long. It’s an impossible thing for me to do – or it WAS an impossible thing to do – while actively working on a book. I’m not sure if that was due to the way I went about it, in trying to split all the things I wanted to do into separate days (which never worked because I would always end up either writing or editing without stopping for anything but the necessities in life, like sleeping), or maybe because regardless of telling myself I HAD to do whatever things…I didn’t actually HAVE to.

Releasing Reave has done good things for me, where that’s concerned. I’ve got a ‘baby’ out in the world and feel I need to take care of it like I would if it was still only mine (only in a different way). I might not be taking care of it the way I necessarily SHOULD, but this is a big learning process for me and I’m trying to figure out what to do as I go. It doesn’t help that my anxiety leaves me absolutely scared out of my wits to be promoting as shamelessly as I should. That also might be due in part to a lack of confidence…

But time-splitting has thus far been what I would consider a success. I’ve been doing a massive edit on book 2 of the series (which is necessary because I haven’t touched 2, 3, or 4 since the beginning of this year), and I’ve been REALLY GOOD (for me) at responding to things. Apart from yesterday, which I spent thinking about stuff. We all need those days.

I’m not going to say I’m evenly distributing time (like I SHOULD be doing), but I’m at least figuring out ways to function somewhat normally. Balance. I’m finding some sort of balance for the first time in…….three years. Well, maybe for the first time ever. Maybe better time-allocation will fall into place when I get more accustomed to this half-and-half thing (half-and-half with working on different things, and also spending time awake on the opposite side of daylight than what I’m used to).

Yes, obviously my sleep schedule is weird for me right now (and yes, I know I’m always going on about my sleep schedule). I’m used to sleeping from around noon until whenever, so I usually see the sun before bed. Now I see it when I’m waking up and that’s thrown me a bit. I don’t adapt well to change. Usually not at all, actually, so…this is good.

Like with doubleyewteeeff to do now that I have a book released…I’ll figure this other stuff out along the way as well.

I’ll tell ya though…Christmas stuff is not helping me regulate my schedule. It’s all random stuff at random times. My Grinchyness is kind of overridden by the fact that I’m weird and could wrap presents … pretty much all the time.

Still, I feel in a lot of ways like I’m playing a waiting game right now. Waiting for my world to straighten itself out, and waiting to see what happens in the meantime.

I’m still working on some things mentioned in previous entries that could pertain to the last few sentences. The world-straightening, for one. Trying to readjust, trying to figure out what’s going on, what to do. Trying not to freak out so badly at the prospect of interaction (I’m not doing so well with that one). Trying to be more positive and realize that things…maybe aren’t quite as bad as they are in my head (it’s not very pleasant in there, just saying…). Trying to learn how to take good things as they come rather than digging around for bad that maybe isn’t there. I’m not successful with that all the time, but…I’m working on it. Even a small bit of success with that is a step in the right direction for me. I’m kind of taking things one day at a time right now.

I hope everyone is doing well out there, that life is cutting everyone a break and that, if it’s not currently break-cutting, it will start to do so soon.

I had to stop myself from continuing on with that. You’ll have to forgive me – all this ‘working on stuff’ has been turning me into a bigger pile of mush than I’m used to.

😛