Small update on new WIP

I remember now why I become so hermit-like while I’m writing.

I started working on a new book the other night and have been alternating between that, one I started on a few months ago (and haven’t done much with), and messing around on here in between.

I’m EXTREMELY satisfied with the progress of the newest, although I have some concerns about it. Mostly because it’s screaming the word ADULT at me, and I have a very difficult time writing adult-type things. I’ve got around 14k words on it already and I’m trying to just . . . take it one step at a time.

The older-new-one makes me want to break my laptop. I’ve realized very recently – partially due to this particular WIP, and partially due to fixing some technical things in my first series – that I seriously suck at writing contemporary stories. Well, maybe it’s not so much that I suck, but just that I don’t really enjoy it as much.

I haven’t started on that ‘experiment’ I mentioned the other day, mostly because the newest WIP has been forcing me to tackle the things that I’d planned on tackling with it anyhow. Well . . . to be totally honest, there hasn’t been much tackling of anything quite yet (apart from a few things), but it’s gonna happen – that’s for sure.

My family has been on my case about going fishing while it’s ‘nice out’, but I feel like I don’t have the time to piddle around. I should probably go back there, at least for a little while. (We have a lake [large pond, but we call it a lake] on our property – I have a picture of it somewhere recently on my Instagram).

I’ve been trying to work out some sort of schedule. Work (Write), Read, Work (Write), Blog . . . it’s just not quite working out the way I wanted it to. I guess I’m just going to have to get accustomed to doing more than one thing at a time in life. Ah, it’s an experience.

All I can do is grow. I think it’s helping.

Hope everyone has a glorious Friday, followed by a fantastic weekend.

You know where I’ll be. In my shed. Writing.

🙂

Friendship: The magic of THE CLICK

I generally don’t tend to have ginormous blog revelations – brilliant things that I feel some unyielding need to write about on here.

I have had my first. It even got its own swanky title from the get-go, which is another first (I’m not good at following maps).

Friends.

Original, I know, right? Wait a minute . . . just hear me out.

We all have them. Maybe a hundred of them, maybe only one. Still, we’ve got them. And, chances are, if you added up your total of friends throughout the entirety of your life, you’d have a pretty dag on large list of names. Even introverts have someone to call their very own in Friend Land. If you don’t . . . then you probably need to get out more. I sit in a shed and write my years away and I’ve still got a few of them.

Now, we all know there are varying degrees and levels of friendship, and I’ll not get into the negative categories.

You’ve got:

The Acquaintance: The Acquaintance is nothing more than a passerby in your life. Someone you may stop and chat with for more than a hello when running into them at the grocery store. They’re the small-talkers, and they’re nothing more than that. At least not to you, and you to them. That’s fine and dandy.

The Old Friend: The Old Friend is much trickier than The Acquaintance. They’re your close friends from childhood – the ones you grew apart from at some point between eating dirt (figuratively speaking) and having a real, grown up life. They’re the ones that you’ll either smile and wave at (possibly followed by unbearably awkward small talk about how life has gone over the past ten or fifteen years while both of you force smiles at the forces of the universe for smashing you together in that very instant), or you’ll just tuck tail into the nearest safe aisle and hide (which is what I do. What? At least I’m honest).

The Fix-er-upper: This is the friendship that requires constant attention and work to maintain. It could be something beautiful, if both parties put in the appropriate level of determination required. But sometimes? Sometimes The Fix-er-uppers just won’t work out. There’s nothing wrong with that. It happens.

The Fader: This is someone who – for no rhyme or reason – simply . . . fades out of your life, and you from theirs. It happens as well. It’s inevitable. You’d be surprised when you’re young by how many sparks of brilliant friendships chock-full of potential turn into Faders.

The Rekindled: I love this one. This is someone who potentially faded, but then – at some point later – blew up like a firework in front of your face. Rekindled’s cannot be ignored. But they take the work of ensuring that neither party returns to The Fader so that they can become . . .

THE ULTIMATE OF FRIENDSHIPS

The Storm Weatherer: These are the people who stick with one another through every whirlwind and flying car that the world has brought upon you. The Storm Weatherers are the most we can ever hope to have from another person, and the most that we could aspire to be for them in return.

But this blog isn’t about the levels of friendship. This entry right here is about the ONE factor that seeps into every relationship in your life, friendship or otherwise.

The Click.

The Click is the most magical of feelings. It’s what will turn a completely rational and levelheaded person into an absolute wreck.

I know this because I’ve experienced it. I’ve witnessed it. I write it.

It’s the thing that solidifies the beginning of something that goes beyond the ordinary. It’s the thing that ensures that – no matter what level of friendship a person becomes – they stick with you forever. They have an overwhelming effect on you, and they change things. They’re the people you allow yourself to get close to, the people you lower your defenses for, and the only people I – personally – will let have any effect on me whatsoever.

And there are levels to The Click.

There are the Smaller-Clicks. The people you feel drawn to in some way for no particular reason, but you still find yourself interested in them nevertheless. They’re the blogs you read more religiously than the rest. The status updates that you make sure you read completely when scrolling through the list of nonsense on your news feed. I might not always comment on something, but I read any new stuff to be read from the Small-Clicks. They can easily *Level Up*.

There are the Medium-Clicks. Those are the people who you’ll find yourself speaking to more often than others. The people who you chat with on a somewhat regular basis. The people who you find yourself genuinely interested, not only in what they have to say, but in them as people.

Then there are THE BIG CLICKS.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been confused about those – especially when I was younger. I’m much stingier with my Big-Clicks now. A Click is still a Click though, regardless of whatever happens after.

My husband was – and still remains – the biggest Click that I’ve ever experienced in my life. We get along almost all of the time. Arguments pretty much don’t exist in my world anymore (and if you knew how argumentative I tend to be, you wouldn’t even believe that I could/would keep my mouth shut with a person). We just . . . fit.

And it’s the exact same with The Big-Click in friendships.

They make no sense.

I’m a firm believer that, if you cannot get along with a person on a basic level, then you should seriously evaluate the amount of time and energy you allow yourself to spend on them. There are billions of people in the world, so there has to be SOMEONE out there you can get along with.

But I’m going to be completely honest and say that it baffles my brain how any two people can get along with one another. Everyone has different opinions. Everyone has different beliefs. And we will FIGHT TO THE DEATH (!!!!!!!) for those two things, generally. The Clicks go so far beyond agreeing on those two things. The Clicks, in my mind, have diddly to do with those two things.

I’ll spare all of you some nonsense about past lives and those Clickers being close to us then too. I’ve heard crazier theories.

That’s just how insane it is to me – that feeling of so badly wanting another person to think of you the way that you think of them. We all want to feel The Click, and we all want to be special enough for someone to feel it because of us as well.

Even for an introvert like me . . . it’s a magical thing.

We should all take a minute to think about the people in our lives, to think about all the things they’ve done for us – no matter how small – and then let them know that it (along with the person) is appreciated. And we should all strive to be there for them, in the same way that they’ve been there for us.

So – to all of my Clickers and close friends . . .

Thank you.

🙂

Editing, Good Feelings, Sunshine

I’m trying to keep up with the trend of posting an entry every three days or so, just because I feel it would be best to not let myself get far behind on it.  If I get far behind, I’m concerned that this entire thing will slip off into oblivion.  I’m already far enough behind on the reading that I can’t allow myself to slip in all areas with the whole blogging…thing.

I wasn’t expecting to have the revised copy of my book back this early.  Yes, I know this was the time frame that I wrote on here awhile back, but that was before a million things happened in life.  So that was a pleasant surprise.

In other words…I have the revised copy from my friend, meaning that I’m going through it right now and doing a last editing before *gasp* sending it off to an editor.  Yes.  I found one.  I never like posting things that aren’t set in stone, as I said in the last entry, but I’m feeling confident enough with the situation and whatnot that I will go ahead and say it.  Full of good feelings and sunshine all around at the moment.

Anyway, I’m going to be doing that for a little while.  Then, while I’m having that second break in time that I mentioned a few entries ago, I will finally catch up on here.  Which will be nice, because I will have my NORMAL COMPUTER CHAIR by that point.  So yaaaay.

I better go ahead and go out into MY SHED (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and get to work.

Hope that everyone out there is full of good feelings and sunshine.  If not, go find some.  You deserve it.

Tired Rambling Pops Thought Bubbles…

So, Husband and I are all done with the actual moving part of the move…at least where it pertains to our physical selves.  Our things won’t be here for another five days or so, so we’re functioning as minimalists at the moment.  I’ve got the things I need (my laptop for working purposes, my computer for…er…uhm…computing purposes), and he’s got the things he needs (his XBox, his case of games, and our smallest TV).  Then we’ve got the cat and dog, of course.  That was a fun trip with the animals, let me tell you.

I’m still physically recovering from the speed-loading that we did a few days ago.  Me carrying a giant, awkward desk that’s at the end of its rope down stairs?  Well…let’s just say that it wasn’t very pretty.  It was kind of embarrassing, actually – the entire moving process, with me carrying anything that weighed over two pounds or so.  I think I might need to go to the gym and *cue music in my head* get ta workin on mah fitness.

…………..

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for just typing that.  Maybe nobody will get it and just think that I’m insane.  That would probably be best.  And it was a joke, mostly.  I can just go shovel rocks or something, which sounds like WAY more fun (that’s just my opinion…to each their own).

No, but really, my body feels pretty shot at the moment.  I’m having doubts as to whether my feet will ever recover and return to normalness.  Normality.  Oh.  Apparently normality is a word.  That’s nice to know.

I PROBABLY should not be blogging right now, given that my brain seems to be lacking its usual functionality.  I knew that functionality was a word, but I’m not sure it’s entirely appropriate to have been used there.  Maybe it was.  Oh well.  I’m sure anybody reading this will know what I meant if it wasn’t.  This is generally the time that I’m most awake during the day (night), but my sleep schedule is still wonky.  By wonky, I mean that I’ve been waking up in the *gasp* morning, and going to sleep right around now.  Meaning…I’m tired.  And my leg is asleep from this HORRENDOUS chair that I’m required to sit on to compute at the moment.  I don’t know how my leg being asleep is relevant to the fact that I shouldn’t be typing anything right now, but………uhm………Yep.

Anyway.  Things are strange here.  Which is strange, me saying that, given that I’ve lived here most of my life (on and off).  Easy how quickly and completely I can forget things.  Things are much more simple, yet so much more complicated in some ways.  I’ll blame my lack of remembering the latter of those to some sort of purposeful forgetfulness.

To explain.

I am beyond physically exhausted.  Even after a few days of coming here, I haven’t recovered.  I’ve said that already, I know.  The point is…I haven’t sat down for more than an hour at a time since I got here.

I’ve walked around, I’ve helped my mom and my mamaw cook, I’ve cut up strawberries for shortcakes and cobblers.  I’ve picked some of those strawberries.  I’ve shelled some peas (yuck to the eating).  I’ve paced while talking on the phone.  I’ve done more walking around.  And then more walking.  And then a little more.

My feet freaking HUUUURT.

But anyway, I’ve gotten so bored during all the spaces between.  Apart from one bit of not-moving-in-between where I worked on a few technical errors in my book.  I was expecting that to take me days upon days upon days.  Nope.  That was my thing to do – my thing to keep myself occupied.  Now, I’ve got a whole lotta nothin’.  Oh my god, I’m even typing that way now.  I apologize.  Which reminds me…I heard my accent coming back out at some point either today or yesterday.  I didn’t lose it completely (it’s the way I talk), but I said something (don’t ask me what it was because I don’t have a clue) and it made my eye twitch.  It’s always so much worse when I’m around my family.  Why in the world am I even talking about this?  Because I’m tired rambling, that’s why.

Back to boredom.  I’m bored.

I could’ve typed this up yesterday, technically, since we set the computer up and all that.  I’m going to be totally honest and say that I didn’t want to.  I honestly don’t want to right now.  This chair is so uncomfortable.  SO.  UNCOMFORTABLE.  I was going to say that it’s almost as bad as sitting on a rock, but you know what?  I would rather be sitting on a rock.

I have a bit more time left before heading off to bed (YAAAAAAAY for air mattresses……Did anyone hear the sarcasm?  I hope so…)…so, when I’m done with this, I’m going to do as I said and do some looking around on here.  I’ll probably have a million blogs to catch up on reading.  That’s fine though.  I can guarantee I won’t get done with that today.  Probably not even tomorrow.  But I WILL get it done.  And it will give me something to do during the between times, when I have them.  Also………..crap.  Lost my little thought bubble there.

I’m antsy to get back to work.  You have no idea.  I’ll calm down whenever that happens.

 

 

I realize that I didn’t make any of the points I intended to make when I started writing this thing.  Well, that’s wrong.  I made a few of them, but not as well as I’d intended because I’m tired.  No big deal.

I’ll give more updates about what’s going on with the book (where it’s at, or where it’s going) whenever things are a bit more set in stone.  I’m trying to work out details at the moment.  And now I’m thinking about Merlin (sword in the stone) and wishing I could watch season five.  I’m whimpering a little on the inside right now.  I love that show.  You have no idea.

 

 

Shetland Ponies and Contemplation

I’ve been doing a lot of contemplating lately – on varying subjects, and with varying intensity.  Situations have a lot to do with the way that I’ve been spending my time; I have little else to do, at least for a short while longer.  The time of contemplating and thinking is almost over…it’s going to cease and give way to doing.  A lot of the thinking has revolved around planning – planning for this, or planning for that, and always trying to determine the best (most efficient) way to go about accomplishing things or just simply…getting them done.

Some of the thinking has been over other things – things that I have no control over, things that have nothing to do with getting other things done.  Those subjects are more difficult for me to manage.

I posted an entry awhile back about getting into contact with one of my dearest friends, and the resulting feelings because of it.  It made me do a lot of contemplating over myself as a person – the ways that I had changed since turning into a hermit of sorts.  It’s kind of like…walking through a doorway, but different.  On one side, you were who you used to be.  And on the other?  Who you are today.

I felt like time almost stopped while I was sitting in my shed, writing my books.  I could feel it passing, I could feel myself aging.  I could feel my heart changing.  It just seemed to happen so quickly.  Years of time – years of my life – spent…thinking, typing, thinking.  Writing.

It’s so funny because yes, I have always been a thinker.  The funny thing is that I can remember being so selfish with my thoughts.  I’m not anymore.  I’m selfish with my time.  I have more important things that I should be doing.  I suppose that feeling purpose will do that to you.

Have I changed so much?

Is there any bit of that person left?

I don’t know.  Maybe somewhere.

It doesn’t matter…I’m simply asking.

I’m being so dramatic, I know.  I’m a writer; it’s what I do.  If you could see how so NOT-dramatic I am in person, you would laugh at me.  I wonder sometimes how I can actually make up stories, pull them out of my head piece by piece, and make them live.  I wonder that a lot of the time, actually.  I’m selling myself short.  I always sell myself short.  It’s what I do.

I like it that way.  I wouldn’t enjoy riding around on a high horse.  That’s a lot further to fall.  The realistic, sensible thing to do is to ride on a horse that’s fitting of your stature and capability.  I know who I am.  I know what I’m capable of.  Don’t I?

Maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe I’ve been wrong.

Again, I…don’t know.

This is why I prefer sitting in my shed in my solitude.  Interacting with people makes me think.

I don’t have time for this.  I don’t have time to constantly be rearranging my self-perception when I have so many other things to be doing.

Maybe I like riding around on my little Shetland pony.  Do I?  I believe so.

This probably sounds crazy, but I’m trying to work through it – write through it.

All of this – every bit of it – is stemming from the interactions that I’ve been having with people over the past several months.  I’ve been told a lot of…things.  A lot of words that I’m not accustomed to having associated with me have been lightly tossed into the general vicinity of my face.

Inspiring.  Are you serious?

People have said that my accomplishments thus far are ‘awesome‘ (the word is suitable enough).  Do you realize how many people have thought absolutely nothing of it?

Happy.  People tell me that I look happy.  Is it such a rarely appropriate word that it’s worth mentioning?  Is nobody else in this world happy?  I can remember a time where I never thought I would be.  I am, though.  I am so happy, and I’m so glad that it shows.

And then there was the word used during a conversation with an old friend yesterday.  Profound.  He told me that I was profound now.  What a word to be called!  This coming from someone who could remember me taking a sip of nail polish remover (likely in the fifth grade, when I was definitely old enough to know better).  I wouldn’t normally mention something so ridiculous; I’m just swallowing my pride for the sake of understanding. (A side-note: Please, for the love of all that is holy in this world, do NOT do that)…

I’m used to the high praise, in a sense.  My husband does it constantly.  He always tells me that I’m awesome, or amazing, or that one thing or another that I’ve done is just…the most AMAZING thing in the entire world.  I always tell myself that he’s completely biased, thus making his praising….tainted, I suppose.  My parents will always smile and go along with whatever decisions I make in life – often knowing I’m choosing wrong, mind you – so that I can learn my lesson.  They love me, and they always let me do what I believe will make me happy, thus tainting their opinions of me, and lessening the believability of their words (where they pertain to me).

But people that I don’t really know?  People that I haven’t spoken to in seven, or ten years?

I can’t make excuses to myself for the things that they’ve said to me.  I can’t shrug it off, or let it roll down my back without a second thought.  How could they be biased?

Profound.  If you could only hear me scoff at that word being associated with me.  And if you could only understand what all of those things mean to me.

He said something about words yesterday that really hit home.  Words are my life.  I am constantly struggling to get them out correctly, appropriately…perfectly.  And I am always failing.

Am I failing as badly as I believe I am?  Am I failing as badly as I tell myself I am?

Maybe…maybe I’m not.  To other people.

I need to feel like I fail with words.  That’s what keeps me struggling for improvement.

I suppose that I need to come to another understanding with myself.

I will stay on my humble little Shetland pony, but I need to come to terms with the fact that…my best might not ever be good enough for myself, but maybe…

Maybe it’s enough to suffice for everyone else.

I’m alright with that.

 

My god, I need to start writing another book soon.  This thinking about myself is driving me up a never-ending wall.

Basically, the entire purpose of this was to say that everything (like the things mentioned) has been extremely strange for me.  I’m not used to it.

But I need to say thank you to any and everyone who has shown even the vaguest interest in my work.  My work means the entire world to me.  I couldn’t possibly express my gratitude.  All that I can say is thank you, from the absolute bottom of my heart.