I’ve made a game plan. A well-defined (or as well defined as it can be) plan of action.
After many alternating days spent in an exhausted (sometimes strange, sometimes frustrating) headspace, it happened. I put all things in their proper order inside of my head; I formulated my next several moves as far forward as far-forwarding things can actually go. It feels good.
It’s funny that the planning actually happened on such a busy week. It was such a busy week, in fact, that I didn’t do one bit of laundry. I’m struggling now to catch up on that (along with other household type things).
All of this planning came after my last entry about paranoia getting in the way of things. I did some thinking (especially after the very helpful feedback I received), and then I stumbled upon a new sort of understanding with myself.
I’m trying to figure out if I’d already sent the first book in my series to my friend by that point or not. I’m not sure. Well, I must have. Or maybe not. Either way, that understanding with myself was devised with myself at some point before the weekend.
That ‘understanding’ was me telling myself, “Self…you have to be smarter. Slow everything down for a minute, THINK, and stop being an idiot. Oh, and stop trying to rush everything for whatever reason. Some things CANNOT be rushed.”
It seems easy. Part of me thinks that it must have been because I can’t really remember when, exactly, I felt completely better about everything (it wasn’t immediately after formulating the plan, but sometime later). But given how long it took me to really think – to stop for a bit and listen to what my heart was telling me…it couldn’t have been such an easy thing. Or maybe the most difficult things can turn out to be easier than the struggle of them in the end. Sorry, I’m rambling. I honestly don’t have a clue what I’m saying; it was just a thought.
Husband and I went home (where I’m from, not where he’s from) for the weekend. Saw some family. Didn’t see some friends that I wanted to see quite badly. Things happen; it’s neither here nor there. But the friend who is currently in possession of my book came over. It was the first time that I’d seen her in person since my husband and I got married several years ago. I won’t go into the awesomeness of seeing her in general (because I could ramble for days and I’m attempting VERY HARD to start making my entries much shorter than the first few [also, personal conversations with friends are personal…she and I both know that it was a great time and I don’t need to go into that any further]), but will instead give a few thoughts on the matter where it pertains to my book.
She isn’t finished with it yet, but I was able to sit down with her and go through some of the notes she’s made so far. She asked me questions and I answered them to the best of my ability (so long as they didn’t give away relevant things (secrets) that come into play later). She and I spent quite a while going over the prologue with a fine-toothed comb – tweaking it in all the places that bothered me. It was the first time that I’d felt good about the ONE part of the book that gave me innumerable headaches.
I was happy about all of it while it was happening and immediately after, but I think it took some time for it to really sink in for me.
You see, I always take some time after interactions with people about my books to really analyze everything – tones of voice, facial expressions. I dwell on those things until I’m positive that I’ve deduced all aspects of a person’s feelings on the matter. Not many people have read them, so all input (in any form it comes) is valid and extremely relevant to me. It’s all important. Everything is all something that could potentially help.
I know that my mother loved all of them, but not because she asked me a plethora of questions about them. I get quite a lot of my opinionated being from my mother. Though she saw the main character (and the situations, relationships, secrets) COMPLETELY differently than I intended for them to be seen, she didn’t bother asking me what they were supposed to actually be (regardless of my ridiculously widened eyes due to just how far from home her taking of them as a whole were from my own). My mother was content with the way that she saw everything, which – though immensely baffling – was satisfactory to me. So no, I don’t know that she liked them for that reason (seeing them the way I intended). I know that she did because she read all four of them two times and my mother does not read. I’m STILL trying to figure out how in the world she didn’t catch where I’d added TEN THOUSAND words into the last one. I digress.
I will not get further into the other people who have read them (or how they felt, or how I felt, or anything, actually). It’s not relevant.
I’ve been asked questions about them, sure. People have listened to me ramble for days about them, sure. My husband never needed to ask questions because – by the time he was actually reading the first one – he knew everything that happened in all of them, and the ins and outs of all the characters.
I’ve never had a…back and forth with a person about them. At least not in the way that I had with her over the weekend.
It was very eye-opening – in a lot of ways. And it was what I’d been waiting for.
I’ve had a great many questions about them swirling around in my head for months on end now. How would the main character be taken? She’s very…strange. I thought she would be extremely difficult to relate to (it was one of my bigger fears), but I’m thinking now that she won’t be. I’m thinking now there’s a possibility that some people out there might love her nearly as much as I do.
Would the hints be picked up?
That was a big one. The way that I’ve written both of my series is to drop hints about future things – whether that be scenarios, or simply character traits. That makes it fun for me to write, and I’m hoping that will make it fun for other people to read. I’m glad to say that – from what I read of her notes and analyzing her questions – some of them have been, and some of them haven’t. The surprises are just so fun.
I think she was worried that her constructive notes would make me feel horrible. I’ve wanted constructive criticism from the get-go. I needed someone to look at my books objectively – to take ME out of the equation and see them for what they were…someone else’s story that I was telling for them. I love every character that lives in that world, but I’ve done everything that I could for them without assistance. I just want it to be told as well as it possibly can be. This is one of those instances where my pride will not stand in my way. In fact, with this one thing, my pride is basically nonexistent. My pride will constantly get in my way, but I refuse to allow it to hinder the story any longer.
It was just so exciting – all of it. I’ll stop with it there because I’ve already written more than I wanted to and still not said nearly 1/10 of what I could.
So basically, things are moving along in the book avenue. I’ve got the next steps planned out, and now…I’m just waiting for everything to line up so that those next things can be knocked out. I just…I just feel better about all of it as a whole.
In other news…
We’ve reached our monthly data cap for our internet. For those of you who do not have to deal with such things…of this one thing, I am envious. For those of you who do not know what that means…It means that, until our billing month is reset, my internet is moving slower than dial-up. That is not an exaggeration. SLOWER. THAN. DIAL. UP.
And doesn’t it figure that Facebook – which I care about less than I can say – is moving along swiftly, but this website does NOT want to load ANYTHING?
Please be patient with me responding to comments (or ‘liking’ posts because sometimes the ‘LIKE’ button will not pop up on the first go for me when I’m reading other people’s blogs). I will try to do so as quickly as possible, but some pages take more than fifteen minutes to load…a LOT more. My newfound patience for my books does not carry over to staring at a blank computer screen and waiting for something simple to load on it. It’s been very difficult not to throw my computer screen at a wall. Or out of the window.
That is all. Have a lovely day.
I’m not sorry for all of the parenthetical asides contained in this entry (or in any other XD).
Also…I don’t write my books that way. No worries.