Dream Journal

So I did something sort of cool today, and I’m sure it’s obvious with the title of this post. I started a Dream Journal. Yes, I already have the Positivity Journal going, and you might be wondering why I would want/need to start a Dream Journal too. I don’t really need to, and while I don’t think it will be some major or majorly positive factor in my life, there might be some cool end results to it.

The last several times I’ve slept have been rife with insane dreams. There have been some weird ones. There have been some unsettling ones. Some that were upsetting. Many that woke me up. The weirdest thing about all of it is that they’ve all been sticking with me several days after the fact. Usually I’ll forget a dream shortly after I wake up and only have a few that I remember well. (I have issues remembering much of anything.) But most of the dreams I do remember were either upsetting enough for me to remember them, or were dreams that I’d written down at some point or another. (That underwater zombie dream five years or so ago will probably stick with me forever. It was a weird one, that’s for sure.)

I feel like remembering so much/many of them lately was sort of a sign that I needed to write them down, so that’s what I’m doing. It only took me a few minutes to type up the most recent ones, so this won’t really impact time spent on anything else. (Especially not when considering I’m too incoherent when first waking to really accomplish much of anything regardless.) I’m not actually writing them down, partially because I don’t want to, partially because I can keep it all better-organized on Herald (again, laptop), partially because it’s much faster for me to type, and partially because I’m already running through paper like crazy with the PJ. I think I’m just going to go by the months – have one file with what I remember of that month’s dreams, then move on to the next.

The last time I kept a DJ was in 2007. I was somewhat obsessive about dreams for a little while there, picking mine apart and doing the ‘relation’ thing. Like, if two people had the exact same dream, it would mean something different for each of them due to personal feelings about whatever objects were in there, situations, etc. I’m trying to think of an example to get this across, but the only one that’s coming to mind is one I can’t say because it was mine and I think it gives too much away. Hm. Working around the specifics of it . . . Okay. I had a dream back then about a certain type of animal that reminded me of a specific person. Rather than being cute and cuddly like said animal is supposed to be, it kept injuring me and ended up being poisonous (despite not being even remotely poisonous in real life). That specific person had done something very similar in my real life. I wouldn’t have made the connection of it if I hadn’t written it down, despite how obvious it was.

I’m not doing that sort of thing with this. I don’t have the time to pick things apart to that degree. (And one can assume that if I’m dreaming about horses and actually make note of the saddles in said dream after watching Merlin and making note of the saddles in the show . . . that’s probably why. Or having a dream about talking to my friend’s mom about the 70’s after talking to that friend, and after watching an episode of Girl Meets World where they ‘went back’ to the 60’s . . . that makes sense. Though I still can’t find any reason as to why Jared Leto was in a dream, playing some weird version of my favorite non-MC character, but I can understand me freaking out and screaming to him about how he was messing it all up. Even recently seeing him on Jimmy Fallon doesn’t really make sense of that. Really digressing.)

Anyway, I’m not trying to connect anything to my actual life. I just think it might be fun/funny to look back one day and be like, “Wtf?” I have some majorly weird dreams, even if it doesn’t sound like it with the ones I just mentioned. Those were just tiny little things in each of them. (Like in the ’70’s’ dream, it was in a restaurant and I was yelling at my sister about beans. Don’t ask me. Just another tiny thing in it.)

If all else fails, I might be able to find some little snippet of something to spin into a story if the day ever comes that I run out of potential stories. Nowhere near that (running out of stories) as of now. Maybe in forty years or so.

Anyway, that’s been my morning so far, apart from being unable to stop thinking about doughnuts from the doughnut store down the street. O.o

Positivity Journal

I usually apologize when I haven’t been on here (or anywhere) for a while. I’m not going to do that this time. I’ll explain, and explaining will (eventually) get me to the title of this post. This is going to be a long one. Proceed if you dare . . .

I posted something about a month ago that I really didn’t want to, talking about how I (mentally) was not doing so great. Then I posted about two weeks later that I was feeling better (in comparison). The in comparison was key there. The fact of the matter is that the not-so-greatness has been going on for well over a month and a half now. I’d usually rather not say anything like that, and I believe I’ve only done so on here a small handful of times. No matter what sort of stuff [going on in my life] I talk about on here, this is ‘work-related’ to me. This blog has my ‘author name’ on it, my ‘author photo,’ etc. This isn’t a space where I toss my deepest feelings out into the abyss of the interwebz. I don’t toss my deepest feelings out anywhere, really, apart from in one-on-one conversations. That’s just me. So apart from saying, “I’m in a weird/bad/whatever headspace,” there’s usually not anything like that. That might change one day, but I’m not holding my breath for it.

The only reason I ever post things along the lines of what I did a month or so ago is when whatever headspace I’m in starts impacting my work rather than my life outside of work. It definitely has this time.

Typically, when I get in ‘a mood,’ I’m so preoccupied with work that I don’t even have the time to think about it. I have such a one-track mind and get so focused on what I’m doing that whatever else is going on in my life sort of slips somewhere behind a closed door in the back of my head. Sometimes (like when I’m writing), I’ll get so caught up in what I’m doing that the door doesn’t even have the chance to get opened again. Then, by the time I might’ve gotten around to it, whatever was causing the unpleasantness has usually lessened for some reason or another. (Issues getting resolved or me just calming down about whatever it was.)

This has probably been the worst mindset I’ve been in for . . . a very long time. I tried just about everything to drag myself out of it. I wrote. (I FINISHED ANOTHER BOOK.) I did (a few) non-writing work-related things. I got out of the shed. (A lot of that was due to a messed up sleep schedule/sleep related issues and it being too hot for me out here.) I played video games. I watched some TV. Did (a few) things outside (and got a good reminder of why I enjoy being indoors). I EVEN GOT OUT OF THE STATE.

I really tried just about everything, and no matter how okay (and even sometimes great) I would be doing at any point, I kept mentally backsliding. Now, we all know (and I have no problem with admitting) that I am a very negative person. (Not outwardly, but inside my head.) I used to consider myself realistic, and I don’t think it really hit me just how much I was kidding myself with that until pretty recently. I do believe that I look at the glass as neither half-full nor half-empty, only that there’s a glass filled to the midway point, but I’m always worst-case scenario. I’m always planning things out and trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever horrible thing that’s next on the path. That’s just me. And really, in a way, I’m totally fine with that. I wouldn’t be me if my dad couldn’t make jokes about the sky falling and me responding with something like, “If [whatever] happened . . . it could.”

I don’t have a problem with that sort of thing, but I WILL admit that I’m getting worse about it, and I don’t like that. I feel like in a lot of ways, my anxiety has even gotten worse. And I’ve been trying to push myself out of my ‘safe bubble comfort zone’ for a while now.

And it’s so freaking weird, because at some point along the way, I’d slowed down all the negativity in my head that I was really worried about – the negativity that pertained to my work. The, ‘What makes you think you could ever do this?’ sort of questions. The, ‘You know you’re not good enough for this,’ remarks. The responses to those had turned into, “Because I can,” and either, “Yes I am,” or, “I’m doing it anyway.”

So what’s been with the mood? I’m still not really sure, but I’ll be honest and admit that I’ve kind of been a wreck lately. I’m sure pretty much everybody knows there are some times that are harder than others to put a (figurative or literal) smile on your face just because you have to. It’s been hard for me lately, when trying to take care of all the stuff that needs doing. So I didn’t do much of it.

I cry a lot over weird things. Movies, TV shows, sometimes music. Sometimes commercials. When I say cry, I mean tear up. I don’t actually cry often. (You may think it’s not weird to cry at the things I mentioned, but it’s what sets it off that makes the crying so weird. If I watch LOTR:ROTK by myself, I’ll sob when they’re all riding into battle. It’s just so epic. Even after watching it more times than I even know, I still fight against sobs.) I cry REAL GOOD (getting all Southern there) when I’m writing/editing sometimes. The point of saying that or even bringing it up at all is . . . I don’t cry about my real life often. Once in a blue moon, usually when I’m extremely frustrated over something that makes complete sense to be up-in-the-air about. So when it gets to the point where nothing in particular has happened, and I’m just feeling nothing short of completely broken down . . . that obviously means I let myself get past an okay point to be.

I don’t really have a solution for it. (Though starting to re-watch Merlin drastically improved my mood.) I can’t magically make this workload go down. Even working on it doesn’t really put a dent in it. This isn’t a story in a book I’m writing, where I can depend on fake people to fix something. This is my real life. I’m just a feeble, little human. And no matter how I feel about my books, or my work in general, sometimes I need a good reminding that I’m more important than they are. (Because I can’t get them out of my head if I’m not in a place where I can.) It’s easy to forget sometimes, and it’s just as easy to beat myself up over needing to get whatever done and not doing it when I think I should.

So while it almost feels like it killed a part of my soul (I say that about a lot of things but rarely mean it like I do here) to not work as much, or as well, or as efficiently as what I ‘should’ have . . . I needed the break. That’s why I really can’t apologize for missing the posts I’d JUST set a schedule for, because I needed to take care of myself. And you know what? It’s been really freaking nice to spend some substantial time with my husband.

I’ve realized that I can’t stick to any sort of actual schedule right now. I just can’t manage it, and that’s okay. (Did more of that writing up posts on here and not posting them stuff.) Trying to do that didn’t actually help like I thought it would. It just made things worse for me. So I’m just going to post about whatever, whenever (like I’ve done pretty much forever on here). The sky isn’t going to fall down. People might have issues with how long it’s taken me to comment back, but I WILL comment back. And I’d rather say what I want to say when I can say it than say what I can say in a small space of time. (That makes sense in my head. I know I could’ve worded it better.)

Anyway, the whole point of all this is the title. I read an article today, and it was almost like something clicked in my head. I really feel like I’ve been in this cesspool of negativity for FAR too long. (I don’t like not being able to work.) I thought of an idea earlier.

I’m going to start a positivity journal. Not like a real journal, with feelings and all. More like a list.

I wrote however many words today. I actually went to the gym. I got whatever done. This happened. So and so said this to me. I laughed about some event.

And not all positives either. I’m going to put the negatives in there too. (Herald’s E-key broke. Husband fixed it.) Because when you break down your days, you might have one massive negative, but you’re going to have a crapton of small positives thrown in there. For someone who naturally focuses on negatives . . .

I just don’t want to do that anymore. I feel like writing it all down might put things in a different perspective for me. I’m hoping so.

I’m just a feeble, little human, and my feelings are relevant. Being down, or overwhelmed, or sad, or angry . . . that’s relevant. But those are the things I naturally cling to. Those are the things I typically remember when all of this other stuff slips out of my head. (My memory is so bad.) And I would really like to remember everything else.

Husband and I had a talk about [something awesome] today. It really meant a lot to me.

I accomplished this today.

So I’ll be able to look back at some point, and I’ll remember the moment of writing it down if I write it down, meaning I’ll actually remember the event. (I remember almost everything that I actually write down.) One thousand words written might not seem like much, but they add up. Add about 90,000 more and you’ve got a book. All the days broken down.

I don’t expect doing this to change me. I’m the most self-deprecating person ever. (If you want to challenge me on that, we’ll lose together.) I’ve mastered getting in my own way, and I’ve lived most of my life like that. (What a skill to master!) So I might have a day where the sky is falling down inside my head because my anxiety is intent on pulling the damn thing down, but that doesn’t change what’s going on around me.

My feelings, no matter how relevant, do not undermine my accomplishments, my dreams, or the good things that happen to me.

I’m not aiming to fill my life with only positives. I’m too realistic (there’s that word again) for that. I’m aiming to acknowledge and accept the positives that already exist. That’s all, and I think this is a good start.

I know there are a lot of people like me out there, and really . . . I just wish so badly that we could all let ourselves focus on the good. Good things happen. It’s easy to forget sometimes, overlook. I just don’t want to do that anymore. Whatever struggles anyone else is going through . . . I hope you find a way to overcome them. I really do. I’m working on my way.

No matter what I’m working on, I just have to remember that my most important WIP . . . is me.

 

There’s no ‘almost’ anything with Almost Royal.

It’s pretty rare for me to post on here about things that aren’t book or work related, past that streak of Friday Music posts. (If I’m ever on here more often, I’ll get back to those.) I’ll make comments here and there amid work-related posts about going to see a movie or something. You RARELY get something the likes of Merlin on here.

You’re getting something like that today.

Husband and I were watching some unknown thing the other day, but I’ll say it was probably Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan (which I sort of fell in love with about a month or so ago, on accident). While we usually fast-forward through commercials, we accidentally caught one for this new show called Almost Royal.

If anyone has seen the preview for that show, you very well might understand why I had, “Me and Georgie are friends with benefits,” stuck in my head for DAYS. I’ll say this is the first time – to my recollection – that I’ve actually LOOKED UP when a show was going to start. (They usually slip by me because I’m too busy to remember what shows I even want to watch.)

Next week. I can live with that.

So there I was yesterday, wanting to watch that preview again because it’s just so . . . RIDICULOUS. My phone was being uncooperative (or I was being lazy, I can’t remember which), so Husband looked it up On Demand. And waddya know? There was a FULL EPISODE on there.

We turn it on. Within about . . . three minutes, I was in tears. I kept thinking, ‘I’m going to stop laughing here in a bit. Really. Something not-funny is going to happen, and I’ll stop laughing.’ I did not stop laughing. I had tears in my eyes the entire time. I am not kidding. Every time something a little less-funny happened, I was still laughing from the last funny thing until the next really-funny thing happened.

At the end of that show, my husband said, “I’ve never heard you laugh that much.”

I laugh pretty easily. I’m far too easily amused. I small-laugh A LOT, but I’m lucky to get a couple BIG LAUGHS in every day. For one, my BIG LAUGH is a horrible sound to hear, and I’d rather not torture anyone with it. For another, while I get amused by the smallest things (even the lamest of jokes will get to me), I rarely find things hilarious. Almost Royal is hilarious.

I’m honestly not too big a fan of the comedy genre, in movies or television. There are a few exceptions, obviously, but with most comedies, the filthy and legitimately-funny ratio isn’t balanced enough for me. (Don’t ask me how I write books, please. I often wonder why I get put-off by some things and not others, or different deliveries of the same things.) It was pretty recent that I started opening myself up a little more to them, rather than bundling them all together and just assuming I wouldn’t enjoy them. I watched Community. I really like Modern Family. I REALLY fell in love with Enlisted, which might only be funny if you’ve known people in the military. If you’ve seen Enlisted, look at Randy. He’s my favorite character. That’s my preferred type of humor (apart from the witty sort) – silly and more than a bit ridiculous. LIGHTHEARTED.

No matter how much I’ve opened myself up to the genre, how many ‘comedy shows’ I’ve watched . . . I have not laughed like I did yesterday. I haven’t laughed to the point of tears for an entire episode of anything ever.

You remember Jackass? I’m not talking about the newest Jackass, when it got too over-the-top (now I’m thinking about the movie Over the Top). I’m talking about OLD Jackass (now I’m hearing, “You old jackass,” in my head, which would probably only be funny if you could hear the accents I hear on a daily basis), where people just did ridiculous things and it was funny.

The first time I saw Jackass, I was in eighth grade, at my best friend’s house. It was on. I had no idea what it was. But I heard, “TODAY, WE SHALL JOUST!” and I was hooked. (At least until it got too over-the-top and overdone for me.) I laughed to the point of tears more times than I know due to that show (rhyming). [‘People riding shopping carts into bushes? This is amazing!’ I’m telling you, I’m too easily amused.]

In one episode, I would take Almost Royal over ANY of those funny shows. As much as I love Enlisted (I really do), I would take Almost Royal over it. One episode.

Who am I kidding? I was hooked with the preview.

That’s the awesome thing about it. I honestly can’t remember the last time I was REALLY looking forward to something like I was with this, then wasn’t disappointed with the final product. I always get disappointed when I hype things up in my head. I was not disappointed with this.

The point of this entry is: Watch the show. At least watch the preview that started it for me. (I’ll include it below.) You might not like it. If you do like it, I sincerely doubt you’ll think it’s as funny as I do. But still . . . just check it out. It seriously deserves to be checked out. I do not know how they can keep straight faces for that. I don’t know.

If I get just one more person to become a fan of this show, I’ll feel that I’ve done my part.

That’s all, apart from saying that I’ll be having the cover reveal for my next book this week (if everything goes according to plan). Stay tuned! 🙂

 

Merlin

What began as something with the sole purpose of creating background noise in the silent space of my world transformed itself into something else entirely – a glorious, albeit too-short, love affair.

Merlin.

What did you think I was talking about?

Seriously though, that’s how my obsession (and I call it that word in the most endearing way that an obsession can be felt) with the show started. It was simply . . . on. It was on (reruns) at the same time I found myself waking up while living in Alabama several months ago. I noticed, gradually, that I began paying less and less attention to the games I was playing on my phone and more attention to the show itself. After a little while, I started ensuring I woke up in time to watch it. I was a little embarrassed the day I admitted, “I really like this show. I know it’s silly, but . . . I really like it.”

Soon the reruns began rerunning themselves on BBCA. By that point, I was hooked and desperate for more.

If you were following my blog while I was in Alabama, you’ll know that my internet was ATROCIOUS, if it could actually be CALLED internet. I reversed my schedule back to my preferred nocturnal, so that I could watch it on my roommate’s Netflix. (We had a data cap until 2AM, but after that . . . Fair game.) I watched all four seasons of it that could be watched, and then . . . nothing. The fifth season was still airing at that point, but I couldn’t just start watching it part of the way through. So I waited. Impatiently. Frustratedly. I waited.

The first several seasons are rife with silliness and something that can only be described as jackassery. It wasn’t until at some point in either the second or third season when I realized, “Holy crap (not that word). These people are exceptional actors.” The instant – and I mean THE INSTANT – I realized that . . . there was no turning back from the love I was starting to feel for it. It went so far past ‘being hooked’. Merlin had stolen a part of my heart. If you think I’m being dramatic . . . you have no idea.

Husband and I had intent to watch the fifth season sooner, but it just didn’t work itself out that way.

So, about a week ago, when I’d come in from writing for the morning, we started watching the last season.

It was epic. Seriously. I can get over the horribleness of the dragon and the other ‘not real’ things – they truly were horrible at worst, and meh at best. I don’t even care. And I USUALLY care. But I swear to god, there is just SOMETHING about that show. Colin Morgan (Merlin) and Bradley James (Arthur) together are pure magic. Yes, that was a little joke, but a serious one. I’m not kidding. If I could bottle the two of them up (I want to smack myself for that one, I’ll admit) and throw their chemistry into all of the movies and television shows where believable interactions are nonexistent, I would do it in a heartbeat. I can get over the sub par acting from some of the others for that alone. I don’t think I even realized how amazing Angel Coulby (Gwen) was until the fifth season. She was spectacular. And my god, how Katie McGrath (Morgana) will make you want to smack THAT FREAKING SMIRK off her face. I could list off all the others, but I will spare you all of what I think of each knight and whatnot. And who couldn’t love Gaius?

Now, to be fair, I am a ‘Read The Ending’ kind of person. After all the frustrations of, “HE IS USING MAGIC RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM! HOW CAN ARTHUR NOT SEE THIS?!” I had Husband look up when Arthur found out about Merlin’s magic. I knew it wasn’t until close to the end. About . . . three days or so ago, I looked up what happens in the last episode.

I was heartbroken. I’m not kidding. But I was so glad that I looked so I could be preparing myself. I read all the complaints about it and already had the idea in my head that it was just going to be unarguably horrible.

The last episode came up, we watched it. I spent some teary-eyed time processing it. And then I decided . . .

That was PROBABLY one of the BEST series finales I have ever seen in my life. It really was. I do understand why it made so many people (including myself, in ways) so angry.

Still, I’m sad. I don’t want it to be over. I want them to do something else with it, as they CLEARLY left it open for possibilities. There needs to be more.

Husband made a comment yesterday about the funny interactions on a serious show and how well they did it. And they did. Like Doctor Who, I could laugh and cry in the same episode. Throw the occasional bit of fear in there (some things were PRETTY creepy and I’m jumpy by nature), and you’ve got something truly spectacular. Some people might want to smack the crap out of me for comparing the two shows and, if you’ve talked to me even a little, you’ll know that I LOVE Doctor Who.

I have no shame in admitting that I love the two shows equally. If you think it’s stupid, you can bite me. I don’t care.

So I will declare it to the entire world.

I LOVE MERLIN.

The end.

🙂

Finished.

Well. Unexpectedness.

So I . . . finished that book already.

Wasn’t planning on that. I was planning on writing for at least five more days. I was planning on putting about 40k more words in it.

But I sat down last night – stuck in a horrible headspace – and wrote one chapter. Then I sat there, and sat there, and sat there. I wrote another chapter and then . . . it was just . . . done.

I had no say in the matter whatsoever.

I don’t have a clue where I’m going to go with it from here. Will I write another book from the same character’s perspective? Will I throw in a new main character?

Honestly, with this STUPID FREAKING HEADSPACE, I have half a mind to just leave it where it is. But the world is so vast – with so much potential – that I feel like I’d be robbing it of something amazing if I didn’t continue on. I don’t know. I’ll probably take a few days off (like I said), and attempt to regroup. Maybe something will come to me. Maybe it won’t. We’ll see.

All I know is that if I don’t somehow find a better mood to inhabit my body, I won’t feel like doing diddly.

I have two blog awards that I need to accept, which I have intent to do at some point during the next few days (after I’m feeling a little better). At the current point in time, I can’t bring myself to post them.

I think I’ve responded to all the comments I needed to on here. Checked out new followers, etc. (WELCOME TO MY MADNESS!)

I need to send a few emails and respond to some messages (badly – everything in my world gets neglected when I’m writing  – SORRY). I’ll probably do that this morning. Who knows?

Sorry to all for my bad mood. I probably shouldn’t even be posting anything, but isn’t the entire purpose of this blog to be like, “Hey. This is what’s going on with me writing-wise, and in general.”??

So this is what’s going on with me.

Unpleasant headspace. Finished writing the new book. Again, I’ll say it – I type fast, and I have a lot of time.

It’s always so surreal to me. I wonder if that feeling of finishing them will ever fade. Hopefully not. I guess when you know that you have months and months of editing after the writing . . . well . . . Yeah.

I should probably end this post.

Hope everybody is great. And I mean that. Sincerely. I wouldn’t wish these stupid moods on anyone.

Oh, I should thank J. Lau for inadvertently giving me a good laugh last night. After having a small commenting-conversation about hearing Matt Smith’s voice saying something . . . Well . . . I got a good laugh later, when thinking about it. That’s all I’ll say. So thanks J! Was definitely in need of that, for sure.

I think I’ll watch some Merlin (SEASON FIVE, FINALLY!) for a little while. If that doesn’t make me feel better, then I swear to all that is holy – absolutely nothing will.

 

Tired Rambling Pops Thought Bubbles…

So, Husband and I are all done with the actual moving part of the move…at least where it pertains to our physical selves.  Our things won’t be here for another five days or so, so we’re functioning as minimalists at the moment.  I’ve got the things I need (my laptop for working purposes, my computer for…er…uhm…computing purposes), and he’s got the things he needs (his XBox, his case of games, and our smallest TV).  Then we’ve got the cat and dog, of course.  That was a fun trip with the animals, let me tell you.

I’m still physically recovering from the speed-loading that we did a few days ago.  Me carrying a giant, awkward desk that’s at the end of its rope down stairs?  Well…let’s just say that it wasn’t very pretty.  It was kind of embarrassing, actually – the entire moving process, with me carrying anything that weighed over two pounds or so.  I think I might need to go to the gym and *cue music in my head* get ta workin on mah fitness.

…………..

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for just typing that.  Maybe nobody will get it and just think that I’m insane.  That would probably be best.  And it was a joke, mostly.  I can just go shovel rocks or something, which sounds like WAY more fun (that’s just my opinion…to each their own).

No, but really, my body feels pretty shot at the moment.  I’m having doubts as to whether my feet will ever recover and return to normalness.  Normality.  Oh.  Apparently normality is a word.  That’s nice to know.

I PROBABLY should not be blogging right now, given that my brain seems to be lacking its usual functionality.  I knew that functionality was a word, but I’m not sure it’s entirely appropriate to have been used there.  Maybe it was.  Oh well.  I’m sure anybody reading this will know what I meant if it wasn’t.  This is generally the time that I’m most awake during the day (night), but my sleep schedule is still wonky.  By wonky, I mean that I’ve been waking up in the *gasp* morning, and going to sleep right around now.  Meaning…I’m tired.  And my leg is asleep from this HORRENDOUS chair that I’m required to sit on to compute at the moment.  I don’t know how my leg being asleep is relevant to the fact that I shouldn’t be typing anything right now, but………uhm………Yep.

Anyway.  Things are strange here.  Which is strange, me saying that, given that I’ve lived here most of my life (on and off).  Easy how quickly and completely I can forget things.  Things are much more simple, yet so much more complicated in some ways.  I’ll blame my lack of remembering the latter of those to some sort of purposeful forgetfulness.

To explain.

I am beyond physically exhausted.  Even after a few days of coming here, I haven’t recovered.  I’ve said that already, I know.  The point is…I haven’t sat down for more than an hour at a time since I got here.

I’ve walked around, I’ve helped my mom and my mamaw cook, I’ve cut up strawberries for shortcakes and cobblers.  I’ve picked some of those strawberries.  I’ve shelled some peas (yuck to the eating).  I’ve paced while talking on the phone.  I’ve done more walking around.  And then more walking.  And then a little more.

My feet freaking HUUUURT.

But anyway, I’ve gotten so bored during all the spaces between.  Apart from one bit of not-moving-in-between where I worked on a few technical errors in my book.  I was expecting that to take me days upon days upon days.  Nope.  That was my thing to do – my thing to keep myself occupied.  Now, I’ve got a whole lotta nothin’.  Oh my god, I’m even typing that way now.  I apologize.  Which reminds me…I heard my accent coming back out at some point either today or yesterday.  I didn’t lose it completely (it’s the way I talk), but I said something (don’t ask me what it was because I don’t have a clue) and it made my eye twitch.  It’s always so much worse when I’m around my family.  Why in the world am I even talking about this?  Because I’m tired rambling, that’s why.

Back to boredom.  I’m bored.

I could’ve typed this up yesterday, technically, since we set the computer up and all that.  I’m going to be totally honest and say that I didn’t want to.  I honestly don’t want to right now.  This chair is so uncomfortable.  SO.  UNCOMFORTABLE.  I was going to say that it’s almost as bad as sitting on a rock, but you know what?  I would rather be sitting on a rock.

I have a bit more time left before heading off to bed (YAAAAAAAY for air mattresses……Did anyone hear the sarcasm?  I hope so…)…so, when I’m done with this, I’m going to do as I said and do some looking around on here.  I’ll probably have a million blogs to catch up on reading.  That’s fine though.  I can guarantee I won’t get done with that today.  Probably not even tomorrow.  But I WILL get it done.  And it will give me something to do during the between times, when I have them.  Also………..crap.  Lost my little thought bubble there.

I’m antsy to get back to work.  You have no idea.  I’ll calm down whenever that happens.

 

 

I realize that I didn’t make any of the points I intended to make when I started writing this thing.  Well, that’s wrong.  I made a few of them, but not as well as I’d intended because I’m tired.  No big deal.

I’ll give more updates about what’s going on with the book (where it’s at, or where it’s going) whenever things are a bit more set in stone.  I’m trying to work out details at the moment.  And now I’m thinking about Merlin (sword in the stone) and wishing I could watch season five.  I’m whimpering a little on the inside right now.  I love that show.  You have no idea.