Blogging Problems . . .

I’ve been having a blogging problem lately. It’s not that I haven’t been on here, surprisingly enough. I’ve done a better job with that lately than I had been doing.

My problem is that I keep typing up entries, getting to a certain point, and then discarding them. It’s been leaving me very frustrated, needless to say. It’s possible that my issue is that I keep trying to talk about actual STUFF, rather than random stuff. I can’t get anything to come out right.

For those of you who have never gathered as much, I don’t blog how I write; I blog how I talk. Might be silly, in some ways (especially when trying to say, “Hey look. I’m competent. I promise,” given that I don’t speak very well), as most people look at blogging as sharing writing. And it is, yeah. But for me, blogging is more like sharing bits of yourself. I didn’t start this thing up however many months ago to share my writing. Books are how I intend to share my writing, and I’ve never been one for short stories and the like, which are more postable (*ding* New non-word). I started this up to interact. That’s just my purpose with it. Everybody has their own.

So, when going from rambling about news/random things and into thoughts and feelings (or frustrations and worries) . . . there becomes an issue. It’s probably because I don’t share my thoughts and feelings with everyone coming and going. I have a hard enough time sharing my thoughts and feelings with most people I’m close with. Then when you combine writing with sharing . . .

Well, it leaves me unhappy with the results.

Maybe that will come with time, and I DO feel more comfortable with blogging/sharing via blog than I did before. Maybe it won’t. I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Until then, I will continue being frustrated anytime I have anything of importance to say past sharing book-news.

Which, by the way, the photo shoot for the cover will take place in TWO DAYS. I’m stoked, seriously. I can’t wait to see the photos from it, choose one, and move forward.

. . . . .

I’m kind of comparing the entire feeling of this (in my head) to preparing to jump off a cliff. I’m standing way back and, as of right now, I’m at the ‘feet bouncing’ stage where I’m anticipating the running start. It’s almost time to start running. So close.

And it’s kind of funny when I’ve compared releasing the book to that (though it’s always me throwing it off a cliff, rather than any amount of jumping involved). So maybe it’s more like me running to the edge of the cliff then stopping and throwing it off.

Hm.

Yes, that’s what it’s like, I suppose.

As for blogging, I might try again later to get some of those things out. I might not. But for now, I intend to do some reading.

🙂

Friday Music: Morning Parade – Headlights

This is just a great song. I really don’t know what else to say about it.

No rambling for days about awesome lyrics, or how much I love the band or the song. Just listen to it (but only if you want to). 🙂

I might be tempted to ramble if I didn’t have a migraine, but alas . . . I do have one.

I hope everyone out there has an awesome Friday/weekend, as usual.

😀

One of the best things EVER.

I know it’s not Friday, thus making it entirely off the schedule for a music post. Given that this isn’t a DIFFERENT song (and really, last Friday was more of a joke than anything), I couldn’t help myself.

BF ‘got’ me this yesterday, because I’d shown her the real video the other day. I don’t know if her ‘giving’ it was due to how catchy the real song is, how hard I was laughing about it (tears) when I showed it to her, all the talking I was doing that day about the sort of music in the above video, or just because it’s so freaking beautiful and she knows me well enough to know I’d appreciate it immensely.

I also don’t know whether to be impressed or surprised that such a ridiculous song could result in this. Regardless of how catchy it is, how well those dudes sing, or any number of other things it has going for it . . . two totally different worlds.

This up here is MUCH more my speed, if you will. I do enjoy a good laugh, but speeds are speeds.

Now if I could only listen to this enough times that the words would stop playing over it in my head . . .

PS) I’ve been saying for a week that I want to somehow hire Benedict Cumberbatch to do an active narration of my life (THAT VOICE!). I’ve got the soundtrack now – those two. All three of them following me around would be absolutely fantastic.

A girl can dream, can’t she?

PSx2) I think I’m a little too old to refer to myself as a girl, ever.

Oops.

Self-publishing.

Yeah. I’m doing it.

I know, I know. I said I was going to attempt querying and do the whole shebang (get an agent and we all lived happily ever after with a picket fence and 2.4 dogs, er, kids).

Anyone who’s been following my blog for a little while knows I flopped back and forth about it (don’t we all?). I spent so much time weighing the pros and cons of each – carefully and meticulously – until all cons blurred with pros and pros were cons and cons were . . . um . . . what’s going on? That was basically how it went in my head for a very long time, so I told my husband to make a decision on it. I was content with that for about a day or two, and then the mental-flopping began again. I didn’t want to blog about it because I wanted to get it sorted in my head.

I realized, after speaking with so many people, that this was a decision only I could make.

I started looking into cover artists just for curiosities sake and found one that I LOVED.

For about four days, I did nothing but flop around mentally afterward. I mulled over the word author. I’ve said it before that I will NOT call myself one unless the word aspiring is in front of it. Not yet.

One night, I looked up the definition of it. I kind of had a moment. There was no ‘traditionally published’ in the definition, of course. For one of those days, I contemplated over the word – what it meant, what it meant to other people, and what it meant to me.

Rather than focus on pros and cons, I started focusing on why. Why did I want to be published traditionally? What was drawing me to self-publishing despite the stars and rainbows and glitter of the P and the T together?

When thinking about the why . . . it fell into place.

I don’t need a publishing contract to accomplish what I’ve wanted to accomplish with this. All I want is for ONE person out there to love my books – to make an impact on a person the way that some books have impacted me. I don’t need a P and a T together for that. I don’t.

So I made the decision about a week and a half ago and I haven’t looked back since.

There hasn’t been one single flop from me, or even one second of doubting the choice I’ve made.

I don’t like posting things on here unless they’re set in stone. I’m feeling comfortable with sharing now.

I’ve been arranging things with that love-inducing cover artist and the photographer. I love them both. Seriously. Details are being figured out and things are being put in motion.

My editor had to extend the date of finishing my novel, so I won’t have it back until early to mid-October. I’m trying to get everything done that can be done until that point.

As of now, I’m shooting for early December. That’s going to depend on how everything works out, but now . . . I’ll be able to keep you all updated.

It’s so freaking weird having things moving. I spent such a long time feeling like my entire world was at a standstill.

Anyway. No more waiting. It’s time to start letting them go. I’m worried, of course, but . . . I’m feeling good. I’m excited. I never thought I’d be more excited than stressed/nervous, but . . . I am.

Wish me luck. I’m definitely going to need it.

O.O

Friday Music: Daughter – Medicine

I’d been planning to do this song as the third Friday Music post for the past couple of weeks, and then I got torn over another song (that I heard for the first time about six years or so ago). There was a bit of confusion due to my technological ineptitude when it came to getting that particular song on here, so here we are. And it’s funny because, now that Friday has come around again, I really don’t think there’s any song more fitting currently than the one I’m sharing today. It’s just . . . appropriate, for right now.

The feel of the song is very . . . relevant, I suppose.

This song has been out for awhile, but I’ll admit that I only heard it for the first time several weeks ago when it was on So You Think You Can Dance. That’s my favorite reality television show, but due to cable box mishaps and frustrations, I missed a good chunk of this season (it’s one of few shows that I actually look forward to). I just so happened to be passing by on my way out to my shed to write one evening when it was on, and I caught the piece that now-eliminated-contestant Tucker danced with previous-contestant Robert, choreographed by Travis Wall (who is BRILLIANT, by the way). It was . . . beautiful. The story behind it was beautiful; the dancing was beautiful. It was just fantastic. But the thing that topped it off – as I’ve found goes with most routines on that show – was the music.

So, I listened to it several times on my phone while out in my shed that night, looked up the lyrics (to make sure I was hearing them correctly because I occasionally do NOT, even when they’re easy to understand), and did a lot of thinking over them. I feel this is a song that everyone can relate to, in some way or another, be it directly with themselves or something to do with someone close to them.

I think of it as straightforward with blurry lines. I love that.

Anyway, I’m going to also post a video of the dance that the two of them did below, in case anyone is interested in seeing it.

Happy Friday everyone, and have a lovely weekend.

Friday Music: A Silent Film – Let Them Feel Your Heartbeat

A Silent Film is, respectfully, my second-favorite band. Sometimes they’re not; sometimes they’re my favorite too. They’re the only band (in my mind) that is on par with the magnificence that is Geographer. Sometimes, I have my moments where I love them more (probably because I’ve been listening to them for longer and some of their songs are just . . . SPECIAL to me, I suppose you could say).

There is something about A Silent Film’s lyrics. They aren’t the poetic masterpieces that are Geographer’s lyrics (that will leave you guessing after first listen and still guessing after a year of listening). But they’re special. They’re so simple, but have so much behind them, I think. When I say that they’re simple, it’s not that they’re simplistic. It means I GET them. Sometimes it takes a good deal of thinking, but they’re GET-ABLE, if that makes sense. Geographer and A Silent Film sit at two polar opposite ends of that universe. One, I love for the mystery. The other, I love for the understanding. They clash and yet, somehow, they coexist with one another in opposite sides of my heart where they belong.

This song, for example – it’s by no means their most elaborate song (lyric-wise), but I absolutely LOVE it for it’s simplicity and the meaning behind things. To me, there isn’t much confusing when it comes to the points that A Silent Film gets across. Some of their songs have some of the most blatantly effing brilliant words ever. I will post one of those at some point, I can assure you, but I had to do this one first.

There is SOMETHING about this song. The message is so clear and it has some of my favorite lines in any song, ever.

The first line: The devil puts words in my mouth when we’re close.

Easy.

My ALL-TIME favorite bit is: The heart is deceitful above all things.
So desperately wicked, who can really know it? Are you listening?

Isn’t it just?

That’s why I love this song. Maybe it’s the lines, and maybe it’s the way the lines are delivered. Or maybe it’s the entire point of the song as a whole. I LOVE what it’s talking about. I love everything about it.

There’s SOMETHING. I guess this is just one of those songs that (like the one I posted a week ago) does something to me I can’t explain – makes me feel something, makes me think about something. Who knows?

Okay, okay, maybe I do know.

One of the most amazing things about music is that it can INSTANTLY transport you somewhere. It can make you think about a specific moment, a specific person, some random thing that happened that you forget about until you hear a lyric or a few beats. Every song I’ve listened to more than 20 times does that to me. And I think . . . I think most of my ‘moments’ when it comes to songs are some of the only secrets of my own that I keep. If a song means something to me, that’s because it makes me think about something. It might be insignificant to most people, but maybe not to me. Insignificant or not . . . I’d never tell.

Is the fact that I’ve listened to it . . . I’d say . . . likely 500 times or so any indication of how I feel about it?

I love it.

I think I just realized something. My memory slips constantly. I think I just realized that some things won’t ever slip from me.

The beauty of music. Gotta love it.

Friday Music: Geographer – Verona (Acoustic)

I will, FIRSTLY, say that this is not my favorite version of them playing this song acoustically. I put this one up instead of the other to spare you all 23 seconds of nonsense at the beginning.

I’ve already rambled on here about my love for Geographer (and this song). I had to put it for my first Friday Music post because . . . I love it so much and it just wouldn’t feel right to put anything else up first. I won’t bore you with how much I absolutely adore this band again. Well . . . maybe just a LITTLE.

They are amazing. I love them. They seriously, without debate, have the best song lyrics I have ever heard (though there are a FEW, AND I MEAN VERY FEW bands that come close). That’s not debatable in my head, at least. Their lyrics make me want to crawl inside brains to figure out what in the world made those words come out. Lyrics are a big deal to me. I’m a writer. I love words. End of story.

They are amazing. Their music is amazing. Their lyrics are amazing. The entire SOUND of them is just AMAZING.

I love them.

And I have nothing else to say, apart from that you should be expecting more music from them to come on a later Friday. Expect me to ramble on about specific lines in songs that really get to me and things of that nature. It will happen at some point, I promise.

I can’t believe I said the sound of them.

Ha

Happy Friday!

(LOOK! I DID WHAT I SAID I WOULD! One week down.)