Checklist

Hey there, everybody. Again, it’s been a super long time since I’ve posted on here. Things have been busy, busy, busy. I’m going to get straight to what I have to say, to spare you all the rambling I usually do on here.

As most of you who follow my blog know . . . I have a LOT of different book things going on at once. I unfortunately didn’t realize how overwhelming it would be to have multiple series to work on/get ready. I wouldn’t take back having that many going, but I do wish I would’ve had a better idea of . . . Well, I wish I’d had a better idea about everything. That’s one thing I’ve realized with publishing though – you never have more than a partial clue about anything. You only think you might possibly have one. That’s how it’s been with me, at least.

Anyway, I’ve been trying to get things sorted the last few months so that I’m not living in a constant state of SCRAMBLE (which is going to turn all my hair grey). It’s really an extremely unpleasant state of being, especially when I have such high anxiety anyway.

So, the not-so-great news is: I am taking a break from blogging. This is not a forever thing. This is not me quitting, or not caring. This is just me trying to get things where they need to be in order to utilize time in the long run. Publishing isn’t a sprint. Seems that way sometimes, but it’s really not. I’m not really going anywhere. I just won’t be on here actively for a few more months. (I will be on Twitter though, because it doesn’t take up as much of my time.)

The good news is: Not stressing out about posts and whatnot is going to give me way more time to get things organized and ready. That might not be good for blogging, but it’s good for releasing books. I’ve gotten a lot done the last couple months, and I’m going to be working like crazy to get a handful of things accomplished. Once those are accomplished, I’ll be back on here regularly.

The other thing is: I won’t be COMPLETELY absent from here. What I’m going to do is put a checklist of sorts below for all these things I need to get done. Once I’ve accomplished them, I will come back to this post and cross them off. I know some people actually do check my blog to see if I’ve posted, so this will be a way to let everyone know where I’m at, what I’ve been doing, and a rough estimate of how much longer I’ll be ‘away.’ I will make notes on the list when and where needed, so be on the lookout for that if you want to keep updated. (Such as saying something is in progress or where it’s at in the process.)

I’m thinking this will take a couple months. No, I don’t want to be away that long. I haven’t wanted to be away as long as I have. I just think that in the long run, it’ll be better this way. I’ll update my What’s in the works? page at the beginning of every month (after today), so that’s something to check on if you’re interested, but the checklist will be updated as soon as something is ready to be crossed off. I won’t be posting anything else on here, to keep this up at the top for people to check on.

One more thing before I get to the list. I know I said I’d be releasing my next book last month, but I decided to postpone that for a little while, until I get a bit more feedback on it. (Working on that at the moment, along with several other things.) It will be released during this break I’m taking. If you want to know when it’s released, I won’t be posting that on here (past crossing it off the list). You can follow me on Twitter, like my Facebook page, or add me on GoodReads to hear about/see when that’s out. And/or you can ‘follow’ me on Amazon to get notified of any releases I have. I might even post something on Instagram about it. (This paragraph will either be deleted or crossed off once that book is out. I’m planning on early March and there’s really no reason for being unable to hit this newest projected date.)

On to the checklist! (For any confusion over abbreviations, check my WITW? page. Most of these don’t have actual titles yet, so they get the abbreviations.)

Releases during the break:

  • S4B1 {Unexpected issue with the e-book has arisen. Have to push the release back a few days. Looking at March 12th.}

Cover Stuff:

  • Photo shoot for the rest of the books in the Reave Series (S2) and the spin-off of sorts (SA1)
  • Cover for S2B3
  • Cover for S6B1

Editing/Beta-Reading:

  • S6B1 to editor
  • S2B3 to last beta-reader

Revising (another round of):

  • S2B3, S2B4
  • SA1 (Reave Series spin-off) {Having to fight the temptation to go through it AGAIN because I love it so much. Not the best use of time…}
  • S6 (All three books. Needs to be done before S6B1 can be sent to editor.) [In Progress]

Writing:

  • S8 (I really want to get this finished while I’m away.)

Random/Personal:

  • Talk to/see some of my friends
  • Figure out what to do (if anything) with S1

Top of the list (other than releasing S4B1) despite being at the bottom of the list:

  • Redo the interiors for Reave and Elude, including fixing a few errors in Reave (Goodbye, Typo!) [In Progress] {Updated PRINT version of Reave is available. All others (including Reave e-book) are still the same as of now.}

So, that’s the list. I don’t know if that seems like a lot or not much, but . . . it’s going to be a lot of work and it’s going to take me some time. I know some people are really wanting the next book in the Reave Series, and I’m happy to say that if everything goes as planned, it will be released shortly after I return from this blogging break. I’m looking forward to that. One step closer to the fourth book. 🙂

If you want/need to get in contact with me while I’m away, here isn’t the best place. (I will get to comments and catching up on follows when I return, but likely not before then.) Facebook probably isn’t best either because I won’t be posting on there often. (I don’t get on there often.) I might make a little post on there (FB) to say when I’ve updated this list, so that will be something to watch out for. Anyway, I’ll be most likely to respond to emails in a timely fashion during this break than anything else. So feel free to email me. (Feel free to contact me anywhere, actually. Just know that some means will have a longer wait time.) 🙂

Email address:Email Address

I also just want to say that I miss a lot of you. It gets pretty lonely out here in the shed, especially when I’m buried past my head in work. I hope everyone has been/is doing well. Looking forward to catching up on all I’ve missed!

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Updates, updates, updates . . .

Prepare yourselves . . . this post is going to be chockfull of updates. It’s also (likely) going to run long, but it’s been about a month and a half since my last post so there are all sorts of things to talk about.

I’ve been pretty good about giving warning when I’m disappearing (to take a trip to Writer Land). I didn’t do that this time, unless you count Twitter. I’m going to count it, even though I typically don’t count anything as anything unless I’m talking about it on here. I’ll give the occasional update on Facebook, but usually . . . this is the spot for everything. Anyway, with that being said, I should definitely apologize for not giving warning. Then again, I very well could’ve given warning and it’s just been so long that I forgot about it. (Don’t have the time to check.)

I’ve gotten A LOT done lately, though perhaps not necessarily things I ‘should’ve’ been doing, but all that is subjective. Let’s get to it . . .

Update 1: I unfortunately had to push back the projected release of S4B1 (for reference, you can go to my What’s in the Works? page). If things had gone according to plan, it would be coming out in two days. I can’t tell you how unbelievably sad I am to not be getting the 12/13/14 date. I could’ve (should’ve) updated about that sooner, but I was holding onto the hope that everything would work out. Yeah, didn’t happen.

Update 2: Unless the sky actually does fall, I should be able to get this book out on the secondary projected release date that I’d set in my head. Not giving the exact date until I have it formatted (SOOOOOON), but I will say it’s in early January. Unless I chicken out, that book will be out.

Update 3: I will be having the cover/title/blurb reveal for that book once I’m finished formatting. As (I believe) was previously said in a post, the front cover is done and has been for a while now.

I have been writing my little heart out during this absence. Let’s get to those updates . . .

Update 4: I FINISHED WRITING MY 20th BOOK! That was a massive milestone for me, and one I celebrated for all of a few seconds before getting to work on something else. 🙂

Update 5: That 20th book finished was also me finishing up another series. (S6, B3) I was in a bad mood one day and went through those first two books (because they’re funny and would put me in a good mood, which they did), then ended up writing the rest of the third, completing it. (Completing the first (garbage) drafts of the series, at least.)

Update 6: Since then, I’ve been working on the ‘standalone’ that’s attached to the Reave Series. I’d thought that was going to end up being a short story. Yeeeeeah, no. If I had more time, I could get that finished likely within a week. I can’t at the moment. Anyway, that’s going to end up being over twice the length of the longest book I’ve ever written. I’m thinking about releasing it in three parts. And when people realize which character that centers around (after they’re introduced), I’m guessing they’re for sure going to want to get their hands on it. Unless I’m totally twisted in which characters are my favorites and no one agrees with me on that.

This break has seriously been one of the absolute best, most enjoyable stretches of time I’ve had in . . . . . . a long while. I’ve had so much fun working. My poor husband has hardly seen me at all though. It was definitely needed, all the writing. It’s been so fantastic for my headspace. It’s nice, getting to do what you love to. (Nice is the under-exaggeration of ALL TIME here.)

A lot of you likely know that I’d finished writing two different series before I’d ever started my blog. I’d finished three before I released my first book. I thought doing it that way would ensure I had enough material at different stages of readiness before getting sucked into all the ‘other stuff’ that goes along with this. Yeah, I didn’t really plan for how unbelievably overwhelming it was going to be to have so many things going on at once while trying to do ‘other stuff’. I’ve been feeling like I’m drowning in all this for longer than I care to say. I really need to start getting a ‘leg up’ on it, and a few things need to happen in order for that to happen. Life happens, you know, and I’m finding myself without my pool of beta-readers. I need to figure out what to do about that. So there’s one thing.

Also, if you’ve checked my WITW page, you might have seen me saying on S1 that I’ve contemplated getting that ready to release. I’m really putting a lot of thought into that. As most of you know, fantasy is my usual genre. Whenever (a miracle happens and) I finish S8, that will be the third fantasy series I’ll be releasing from. I want to be releasing what I’ve recently been calling ‘palate cleansers’ with/and/or/whatever between those. My writing style with ‘contemporary’ type books and with the fantasy ones is . . . totally different. So I now have S1 and S6 that I can potentially release from (between), if I get/make the time to work on them and get them good enough.

I’m not sure which of those I’d prefer to release from first. They’re both totally different, and they both have their strong (and weak) points. For one, I don’t think I write non-fantasy well, which would be a weak point all around for both. Then again, I won’t do much (anything) more than call myself ‘passably good’ at any point with anything. (Queen of Self-deprecation, at your service.) S6 is kind of hilarious, if you can tolerate a bit of good-natured filth. S1 is a bit cleaner (and yet also not), and is still sort of funny (at points). S6 is more straightforward, story-wise. S1 is more twisted. S6 is three books. S1 is six. S6 is more sci-fi-esque. S1 is paranormal. So I don’t know. It’s all apples to oranges. I don’t know. I haven’t gone through S1 in so long that I honestly don’t even know what sort of state it’s in. (Not a good one, I know that much by the last time I glanced at it.) S6 would be less work overall, due to it being written more recently. I’ve been doing this long enough that I’ve gotten better (slightly more easily-passing than struggling-passing) at it. S6 is also less books to go through, which would mean less overall time to get it better (and less $$ for printing it out multiple times to edit).

I don’t know. I’ll have to be asking people which they would have more interest in where those two series are concerned. Part of me is wondering why it even really matters if I’ll release them all eventually. (Which I think I very well might do despite being sure I wouldn’t release from either series, but it just seems bad to not when someone out there might potentially enjoy them.) But it matters because I have such little time that I need to make sure I’m using it where and on what it needs to be used on. I’ll get it figured out. And I’ll tell you what . . . I really want to finish writing S8. I love that group of characters more than I can say. I honestly have to say it’s a tie between the S8 characters and the S2 (Reave Series) characters. (That’s me saying they’re my two favorites. Yes. I pick favorites of my own work. It’s impossible to not. At least I can admit it.)

But in the meantime, the things I was waiting for where S4 is concerned are all done. Meaning I got it back from my last beta-reader. That means my writing time is finished (for now *sadface*) and I’ll be editing. I need to go through this one more time before formatting. Then it’s formatting. Then it’s getting the back cover done and getting a couple copies out to advance reviewers. Then waiting for the proof. Then release. It didn’t take me long at all to go through this the last time and the things I was worried about changing were unanimous to not be changed, so I’m sticking with it and just going through for typos and the like. I should be able to get this out when planned. (I should start planning to get all my books out on the secondary projected release date with the way things are going.)

SO . . .

My next book will be released in early January 2015, unless the sky falls. Be on the lookout for that, and for the cover reveal (which will be happening soooooon)!

Hope everyone has been well lately. Please be patient with me while I readapt to non-hermit life (and have little mental fits where I figuratively cry and stomp around about it). 🙂

Also, the next week or so will be really busy for me while I’m working on getting this done, but after that . . .

Well, things will still be busy, but I’ll be working on responding to things and whatnot. I just need to make sure I can get this book out on time, so bear with me for a little while longer.

Book Stuff . . .

I’m definitely feeling better today than I was when I posted last. I can’t say that I’m back at 100% or even very close to that, but closer than. I’ll take that. Maybe a lot of it has to do with book stuff, but I’m sure getting to hang out with my husband and game for a while helped quite a bit. On to the book stuff!

The front cover for the first book in the trilogy is done. (No, not dropping the title yet. That’ll come with the reveal.) I’m planning on doing the reveal soon, probably one month (exactly) from the (projected) release date. I might change my mind about when with that. If I do, it’ll be a sooner rather than later thing. Everything still seems to be on track for me to actually hit that projected release date. I’m not sure they’re on track enough for me to be comfortable giving the projected release date. For now, I’ll just say . . .

The projected release date for the first book in the trilogy falls in mid-December.

Obviously that’s subject to change, depending on whether some unforeseen issue arises. If any unforeseen issues do arise, I’ll let everyone know as soon as possible.

Anyway, I might be feeling better due to knowing I’m close to being busy with book stuff again. By ‘close,’ I mean, ‘I can probably start doing some of that stuff right now.’

One thing I would really like to do is go through that book again before I get it back from who has it right now, just to potentially tighten it up a bit more. I’m still torn on whether to cut a few chunks of it out, but I’m going to need more opinions on that. (Waiting on those.) If I do decide to cut one major part, that would be an issue that might impact the release date. (Cutting other, smaller chunks wouldn’t cause problems with the date.) As a rule, I don’t like cutting from books. I know you’re supposed to or whatever, but I typically feel that something isn’t there unless it’s supposed to be there. Out of all the books I’ve finished writing (19. So close to hitting a big milestone with that!), this particular book is the only one that’s made me stop and wonder if it would be better to be missing a particular (pretty massive) chunk. Better experience-wise. (I’m not including two books that I re-wrote in the ‘chunk removal’ talk because those were complete changes.) I’m not sure, and as I said, I need more opinions on it. I’ll have to wait a small bit to get those.

So yeah, going through that book again is top priority for this week. It shouldn’t take me long (depending on how much ‘other stuff’ I do) because I’ve already done just about everything I can do to it. (Unless I want to wait a few years for my writing/skill level to change again, and if I start waiting for that, I’ll never release anything, ever.)

Along with that, I want to write up a post on here about releasing from a different series than what I already have out. That should come within a few days so be on the lookout for it.

Along with that, I’ll be trying to get caught up with responding to things. I didn’t get completely done with that before my husband had his days off work. So I guess I’ll be doing some time-splitting this week.

We’ll see how all that stuff goes.

Hope everyone is doing super great. I’ll be trying not to be impacted too much by the ‘writing weather’ going on here. 🙂

Catching up (or trying to) . . .

I’m really not feeling so great today. I mean that in a sick sort of way, not a headspace sort of one. I’m hoping whatever it is gets out of my system quickly. Obviously I’m not happy about feeling under the weather. I had plans today, like real life plans. I was going to go see my one of my best friends because it was the last day I could do as much before she has her baby. So yeah, I’m frustrated at my body for choosing today (of all days) to be like this. Out of my hands though. It’s not like I can do anything about it other than be frustrated.

I’m actually inside (rather than the shed) right now. Trying to write up a post on here while listening to music is not easy. I’m wondering if I’ll accidentally slip any song lyrics into this . . .

Since I can’t spend the day – or part of it – doing what I intended, I’ll be trying to play catch-up.  I’m going to try to tackle responding to everything. I’m seriously so far behind it’s ridiculous. I’m kind of at a loss as to how I was managing this for a while (maybe headspace has a lot to do with that) and I’m completely at a loss (as always) as to how people do manage all this stuff on their own. When I stress out about this to my husband, he always says, “You’re only one person.” That’s the truth. I usually wish there were more hours in the day or that people could find a way to function on zero sleep. Right now, I’m wishing I could split myself into two people just to get stuff done (then go back to the one person when possible). Then again, if I were split in two, both C’s would be arguing over who got to write and who would be doing the other stuff. It would probably come to fisticuffs, now that I’m thinking about it. I should probably stick with wishing I could function on zero sleep because I really don’t think I could get along with myself.

Anyway, I do have some good news. Now that I’m done rambling about splitting myself in two, I’ll share that . . .

Things are looking good for getting the first book in the trilogy out on the date I’m planning. (AS OF NOW.) As always, that’s subject to change. Things can seem to be going awesome one minute, then in the next you realize you’re so much farther behind than what you thought. Time gets away . . .

But yeah. I think this will be the soonest before a release that I’ll have had the cover art finished, so THAT’S awesome. (Along with being awesome, it’s a major relief.) As far as I know, I’ll be getting the copy (of the book) that’s sent out right now back in the time frame I need it to get everything else done. It all seems to be going smoothly, or as smoothly as it can, which is something I’m not really accustomed to. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed when not typing with them, in the hopes that there are no bumps/obstacles/roadblocks. There probably will be, if my experience with this tells me anything. I’ll hope for a speed bump rather than something major.

I just wanted to share all that, to keep everyone updated and whatnot. 🙂

*fingers crossed*

Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend. 🙂

 

(Also, while I’m responding to things . . . if there are any weird words thrown in there/major typos or if I’m not making very much sense? We’ll say that’s due to listening to music while doing anything.)

 

My Immediate Plans . . . (Including an upcoming release)

It’s about time for things to start getting ridiculously busy for me again. It’s not like things ever stop being busy, considering I have (what feels like) fifty million things to do. Sometimes I stop for a few seconds and sort of take stock on everything I’ve got going on book-wise and it usually results in either me shaking my head at myself or *handface*ing.

Many of you (may) know that I’d completely finished writing two separate series before I started a blog. By the time I released Reave, I’d also finished writing a trilogy on top of that. I’m so glad I did things that way because I now have two different story lines I can release from. (We’re not including the first series I wrote, though I have been putting some major thought into getting that releasable. But I’ll admit I haven’t touched it in a couple years and whether or not I’m even capable of getting it releasable is . . . questionable.) So yeah, I’m glad I did things this way. Things got so hectic after releasing the first book and I just don’t have the time for writing that I used to. (To prove my point, I’m still working on finishing up this new series (8). I started on it in February and this has been the longest length of time it’s taken me to get the first drafts finished of something I work on consistently. Again, I’m not including the first series I wrote because I didn’t have a clue in the world as to what I was doing until it was already done. Whether or not I found a clue after the fact is even debatable.)

It gets a bit (a bit is a major under-exaggeration) overwhelming at times, especially because I function best when focusing on one specific thing until it’s finished before moving on to the next. With so many different things (and ‘projects’) going on at once . . . it gets hard. I’m constantly having my attention jerked from one thing to the other then back again. Almost all of it is due to necessity. I’ll want to work on one thing while needing to work on another. (‘Oh. You want to write? Well, that’s too bad. Don’t you remember that you’re trying to get this released? That means you have to work on this again. And when you’re done with that, you should probably go through the rest of the series one more time. When you’re done with that, you should probably go through this other series. Then there’s cover art, and beta-reading, and making changes, and formatting, etc. etc. etc. When all that is done, you can get back to writing.’ . . . . . ‘That’s going to take months.’ . . . . . ‘Yes, it is.’)

That’s the way it goes . . . roundabout. (Not to mention social stuff.)

Anyway, it’s one of those times again, for the focus-shift.

Book 1 of the trilogy? Well, that’s the focus as of right now. I’d planned on releasing it after the third in the Reave Series. (The plan was: RS1, RS2, RS3, T1, RS4, T2, T3) Plans change. Now, it’s: RS1, RS2, T1, RS3, RS4, T2, T3 . . . That’s also subject to change, but as of now, that’s the plan.

If you keep up with my WITW? page, you might know that releasing T1 (or if you’re going by that, S4, B1) was a priority for me. It’s been in the beta-reading phase for a while now. A few days ago, I contacted my cover artist. (Claudia at Phatpuppyart.) We’re going to start working on the cover here shortly. That’s always so exciting.

I’d planned on having everything ready much sooner than what it is, but as I said about plans . . . Well, they don’t always work out the way you intend. They rarely seem to. So many aspects of publishing are totally out of the author’s control, and that’s something that’s taking me a while to (mentally) grasp hold of. I mean, I have all these books ESSENTIALLY waiting to go, but they still need stuff. Many of them still need to go through the beta-reading phase. I wanted to get ahead of this because scrambling before releases is . . . . . . . . not ideal. I’ve scrambled before both of mine so far and it’s horrible. It’s so stressful. Looks like this is going to be another scrambler.

I’m planning on releasing the first in the trilogy around mid-December. As I said the last time I gave a projected release date . . . please do not hold me to that. That’s when it will be put out if I can manage to get it completely ready by that point. I’m definitely going to need some crossed fingers to manage it, so if you have some fingers to spare and some time to waste by crossing them for me . . . that would be great.

I’ve been asked several times about the next in the Reave Series and when it’s going to be released. I unfortunately don’t have a set enough answer for that to give one. If you read my initial post about the piracy of Reave, then you know a lot of that (it taking a while to release these books that are ready) is due to finances. In order to release that one, there needs to be another photo shoot. I’m planning on having the photo shoots for 2 (possibly 3) covers simultaneously, so it’s going to run on the expensive side. (Books 3 & 4, and a possible stand-alone that I nearly have finished (at least the first draft).) Like certain things with time being out of my hands, having enough funds to cover that is totally out of my hands. I’ve spent quite a while cutting back on as much as I possibly can to manage releasing these books, and there’s really only so much that I can do. I really don’t like saying this sort of stuff on here, but it’s the truth. When it reaches the point that I have a more set answer for this and when the others will be released, this will be the first place I share as much (publicly). I really can’t even tell you how badly I wish I could get that fourth book out. Anyway. I wish I had better news in that regard.

BUT. I am excited about releasing from the trilogy. I’m nervous as all get-out about it, but I really am excited. I might blog more in-depth about this sometime relatively soon, so stay on the lookout for that.

So yeah. I might not be on here too often while I’m trying to get this ready. Not saying I won’t be, only that I might not. It all depends on time and whatever busyness is going on at whichever point in it.

Poor Series 8, getting put on the back burner again. I’ll finish that one up eventually.

My first experience with piracy, thus far. (Part Two)

I’m sitting here a few days after the fact still trying to process this. (If you’re just stopping by and don’t have a clue what I’m talking about – or what I will be talking about – you can read my previous post here.) I’ve gone through a pretty wide range of emotions since learning that Reave is being pirated, everything from outright fury to something I can only describe as down. Since putting word out there that this has happened, I’ve realized . . . it happens A LOT more than one would think. I’m not the sort of person that rationalizes bad things happening by saying, “This happens, and that makes it okay.”

I feel worse. It’s, “This happens way too much and it’s so far from okay.”

When most people are sick, they don’t wish for other people to get sick. (Unless you’re the sort of person that laughs maniacally for getting sick-germs all over a person’s face.) Most people don’t wish that.

How I’m feeling a few days after the fact is: Why does this have to happen? Why do we, as people, have to completely disregard others? Just . . . why? (I could also ask, ‘Why are you insisting on sneezing your sick-germs on my face?’)

We aren’t all like that, and I really would still like to believe that most people – when given the choice – will do the right thing. But there’s all this stuff going on everywhere, all this crazy, absolutely horrible stuff with people disregarding the person standing next to them. Worse, people blindly hating the person standing next to them. And for what? Because they’re different? How are we as a culture not past this by now?

I have my opinions on all that, those questions (and more). I have a lot of opinions, and I pretty much always keep mine to myself. I only share my opinions with a few select people who I know can and will respect them or won’t think differently of me because of them.

I don’t ever get opiniony (non-word) on my blog. I talk about work on my blog. But my work getting essentially stolen from me (still having a hard time grasping that) makes this work-related. Roundabout.

My husband started a new job recently. (That’s the adjustment mentioned several entries ago.) He has to deal with people at this new job. Now, my husband is great with people. He’s seriously the nicest person ever. (Not to mention that he’s extremely nice to look at along with that. It’s a conundrum, I know.) He’s so level-headed and relaxed about everything. (I have no idea how he can tolerate me.) Some of the stuff I’ve listened to him say when coming home is . . . . . . . . Well, it doesn’t give me much hope for the future of the human race, I’ll say that.

So I’ve been hearing that. I’ve been walking past when the TV is on the news (which I’ve always tried to avoid due to it inevitably making me unbearably sad). Then I had this happen to me, with the piracy. So there are quite a few pieces of straw on the camel’s back, if you will.

I’m so . . . disappointed.

To me, there’s a major difference between downloading a free book and being the one who steals someone’s work to make it available for those people to download. There’s a difference in that and being the facilitator (site).

There’s a difference between being the stander-by while your friend is pulling their pants down in front of kids (WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!) and being the one who’s doing it. There’s a difference between that and being the person who *tries* to physically assault someone for just doing their job because you decided to be an ass. (Is that literal enough?) (And by the way? *TRYING to physically assault veterans? Yeah . . . probably not the brightest idea ever.) (Can I ask . . . Who is raising these people to be this way?)

I’m not even going to get into what’s going on in the WORLD. But really?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

I usually write about this sort of stuff in my books – not these acts, thank god, but human nature. As much as I try to keep my distance from people (DO I NEED TO SAY WHY?), human nature is and will always be nothing short of fascinating to me. But let me tell ya . . . I would so much rather write about it.

Needless to say, I’m having a pretty difficult time trying to find the motivation to interact. I really just want to go into hermit-mode until I’m feeling better. I’m just really down right now, to be honest, and I really don’t like interacting when I’m down. That’s more so because I don’t like putting my stuff on other people than a legitimate desire to be away. If I’m down, I don’t want to drag anyone else there with me because that’s not right. And I always worry that if I try interacting while in that sort of mood, someone will be able to tell and might potentially feel bad right along with me. (Even if it’s just for the minute or two they might be reading whatever.)

I’m also sort of struggling with trying to get book 1 of the trilogy ready for release. I was super excited about it, and for right now? Yeah, kind of hard finding the usual energy in the tank for that.

With as much as I’ve heard this happens after telling about it happening to me, I’m wondering why I haven’t heard more about it. Like I’ve said, I’m extremely hesitant to say much of anything on here (about anything), so I’m wondering if that’s it. Nobody wants to make people angry or whatever. And I know there are the people out there who don’t care. (Exposure is exposure?) Or maybe I’m just missing posts about it. That’s possible. I’m pretty bad about that.

But you know, it’s not strictly the feeling of violation I’m going through. I’m worried. What if this illegal copy of my book has somehow been altered? What if it was messed with, these people download it, and it absolutely ruins my reputation? Is that reaching? Maybe. Do I think it’s a legitimate concern? Yes. There’s no way I could know as much because I’m not putting a virus on my computer (WITH ALL MY WORK ON IT) to find out. It’s possible, isn’t it?

It’s so scary thinking that you can put so much work into something and have it all ruined in an instant. It’s terrifying. That’s why I won’t give out information on upcoming books. I don’t want my ideas stolen. And apparently everything is fair game, right? Someone puts in all the effort and someone else messes it up? Right.

Human nature. *sigh*

I’ve warred with myself on posting this, and I’ll admit I warred with myself on leaving the initial post up. Nobody seems to be talking much about this out in the open, so is it taboo or something? But it’s like I said up top. I don’t believe that something happening or being ‘normal’ makes it okay. And I’m sorry (not sorry), but I’m just not okay with this sort of garbage happening.

We should have the right to say where our work goes and how it goes there. If we want our books to be free? They should be free. If we don’t want them free? They shouldn’t be available for free. (And again, I WILL GIVE OUT FREE E-BOOK COPIES.) That’s not wrong, and it’s not difficult.

I’m not angry at the people who downloaded it. I’m angry at whoever made it available. But ah, the joys of being separated by computer screens. Right?

Anyway. I don’t know what I’m going to do as of now. I might bury myself in writing. I might not. I really want to, just to sort of get my headspace readjusted. So if it takes me a while to get back with anyone, please don’t be upset with me. I’m trying to work through this. And to any/everyone else this has happened to? I am so sorry. I am genuinely sorry that anyone has had and will have to go through this. I wouldn’t wish this feeling or experience on anyone. We all work so hard.

I think we should all learn to cover our mouths when coughing/sneezing. Just saying.

 

(I had to go back into the previous post to clear one thing up where I was talking about my email address and spam. I just wanted to make sure I was being clear about it to ensure it wasn’t taken the wrong way.)

My first experience with piracy, thus far.

I’m trying to process my feelings right now, and I’ll admit . . . I’m struggling with it. I’m also trying to figure out whether it’s ironic that only yesterday I read an article about someone’s opinions on the piracy of books and thought, ‘Hey, chick. I’m totally in agreement with you on this.’ Then I disregarded it (mentally) and moved on. (I’d link to the post if I still had it up or remembered whose site I read it on.)

So yeah, if you haven’t guessed by the title of this post, Reave is being pirated. Every so often I do searches for it and I’ve never found anything like this. I altered the search slightly today and that popped right up.

I’m . . . upset. I try to keep my opinions to myself, especially with issues that are bound to get someone all riled up about something or other (which is pretty much anything), but yeah, I’m not going to do that right now. I am genuinely upset, and I’m going to explain why. When I explain why, it’s going to sound rather similar to what I read yesterday. It probably won’t sound as great because I’ll admit that my hands are shaking and being as upset as I am right now is like sticking a screwdriver in the cogs of my brain.

I could get into a massive spiel about how I have not yet made back the money I spent to release one book, let alone both of them. I could get into that. I could get into how unbelievably difficult it is to do this financially, and do it in the way that I feel is right (which is by not putting out crap, which takes a significant amount of money that is not easy to come by). Believe you me, I could get into that thoroughly. I could get into how unbelievably frustrating it is to have all these books essentially waiting to be released, and to be unable to do so DUE TO FINANCES. Let me tell you that one of the most amazing feelings in the world is when someone enjoyed one of your books and wants to read the next one badly enough that they ask you about it. What’s NOT so great is having to say, “I’m sorry. I don’t know when I can get that next one out. I’m trying as hard as I can.”

Yeah. I could get into that. Past what I’ve said just now? I’m not going to.

What I AM going to get into is this:

Did you know I’ll give out free e-books of Reave? Yeah, I’ll do that. I’ll give out free e-books in exchange for a review. Send me a message on GoodReads. Send me a message on Facebook. Send me an email. Comment on my blog. Believe me, I’d be more than happy for you to contact me directly and express genuine interest in my book, then I’ll send it to you so you can read it. You get a free e-book. I potentially get more exposure (which IS most important to me). You leave a review, and other people who might’ve been on the fence about my book(s) might be able to decide one way or another. You might love my book and tell all your friends and family about it. You might love my book and tell me, which is seriously one of the most fantastic things ever. When you’re struggling to follow your dreams and start your career? Yeah, hearing that helps. It keeps you fighting through all the struggles. It gives you validation for what you’re doing, and when you’re constantly struggling to feel like you’re good enough to do what you’re doing? You have no idea how much the one sentence of ‘I loved your book’ can do.

It can do a lot.

I actually wrote up a post about two weeks ago to tell everyone that I had every intention of taking Reave off Smashwords in order to enroll it in Select (on Amazon) SO THAT I COULD DO THE PROMOS TO MAKE IT FREE FOR CERTAIN DAYS. I didn’t end up posting it due to that adjustment I wrote about last week. I was thinking I’d wait a little while. I just got the first book in the trilogy back from the first beta-reader and I needed to get that ready to send off to the next. So I just needed a bit of time to fit it in.

Let me assure you that exposure has been my biggest goal from the get-go with this. I get it, people. I’m a new author. If you haven’t read my books, you might be hesitant to spend the money and take a chance on me. There’s a stigma with self-publishing and you know what? That stigma with self-publishing is often justified. How do you know if I had a professional editor? How do you know whether my book is going to be riddled with errors? YOU DON’T, AND I GET IT. Let me just add here that I did not self-publish due to an inability to land an agentI self-published so that I could keep all rights to my work, and to ensure that what was put out was what I wanted put out. Full stop.

But I’ve seen some self-published books that make me want to pull my hair out. I have. So please believe me when I say that I get it.

My willingness to give away free copies of my book is not because I think it isn’t worth being paid for. It’s because I understand. It’s also because I have the faith that my work can stand on its own feet. Given that I have QUITE A FEW BOOKS to release, I’m more than happy to throw one of them out there. Sure, some people will hate it. That’s inevitable because not everyone likes the same stuff. That’s just preference. But the thing is? If I give out a free copy of Reave, someone might love it. Someone might love it enough that they’ll want to read every book I put out. It’s insane to me, but it’s happened so I know it can happen. Am I losing there by giving out a free book? No, I don’t believe so.

So you might be wondering why this upsets me at all, right? If exposure is most important, if the readers are what matter, why would this upset me?

I’ve put literal blood (cut my hand open on a binder while editing), literal sweat (I write in a shed and an AC in the summer out here doesn’t work as well as one would hope, and that’s not even getting into what it’s like in the winter), and literal tears (I cry while writing/editing quite often) into my work. Just like so many other authors out there. I’ve worked my ass off for years now trying to fortify the foundation of something before starting to build it. My workaholic tendencies (if it/they could be called ‘tendencies’) have damaged more than one relationship in my life. What I’m saying is: The work is most important to me. I feel like I’m doing something worthwhile here, and the goal is to potentially make some sort of difference. I can’t accomplish that if I’m not focused on the work.

So seeing my work on some seedy, backwoods channel that set off the antivirus on my computer? Equate that to seeing your daughter standing on street corner doing I’m sure you can guess what. My books are like children to me. They are, and the street corner thing is how I’m feeling right now. (Along with feeling like there’s a line of people with their middle finger up in the air in my direction sounding off a chorus of, “F*** you, C.”)

Disregarding the ratio of pirated copies to legitimately bought copies . . . All you people who downloaded it?

Yeah, you could’ve just asked me for a copy. Just saying.

And so there’s no confusion?

Here is my Facebook account: C. Miller on Facebook

Here is my GoodReads account: C. Miller on GoodReads

Here is my email address: Email Address (Yes, that is a photo of my email address. Clicking on it will not send me an email. Call me crazy, but I’m just really not feeling like dealing with spam today.)

 

Here’s to hoping I can get this taken down swiftly and that any free copies of my work given out will be my choice, as it should be.

(Yes, I know this sort of thing happens. Knowing it happens does not make my feelings on it happening to me irrational or invalid in any way.)

** I’m coming back to this a bit after the fact to add a few things. (Along with taking out one somewhat passive-aggressive remark.) Some of the anger (and similar emotions) . . . it’s worn off a little. Now I’m mostly upset, like legitimately sad/down-upset. Here are the things I want to add:

  • Please, people, respect the hard work of authors and other artists. Some people put their work up for free on sites, or do free promos, or give out free copies. Some people don’t ever do any of that. Please respect their wishes for their work, whatever those wishes may be. I like to think that most people wouldn’t walk into a store and take something simply because they want it. This is the exact same thing. If someone doesn’t want to give out a free product, that is their decision.
  • This is a smidgen bigger than I initially thought. I’m still trying to figure it all out. Doesn’t help that my antivirus keeps getting set off. But I don’t have a clue what any of this stuff is or anything about any of the sites. Working on it.
  • I’m kind of internally warring with myself on this. (Though don’t get me wrong, that sucker is coming down off the sites if it’s the last thing I do. Because I did not put it there.) I guess some people wanted to read my book, right? And that’s good. It really is good, yeah. And you know what? If this was actually impacting anything in a positive way? I just might have left it where it was despite how gross I feel about it. (Not saying I would, only that I would’ve thought about it.) But the truth is that it isn’t. There hasn’t been an influx of reviews or ratings anywhere. There hasn’t been an influx of sales. I’d be totally happy with ratings/reviews (even a sentence, if that’s all someone had to say) and a bit of word of mouth. So if anyone who downloaded a copy of my book off some random site I didn’t put it on is actually reading this? I genuinely hope you enjoyed it. I do. If you did? Tell your friends/family. When/if you do so, it would be super great if you could direct them to one of the legal avenues of obtaining my book. If you seriously cannot afford to spend the $2.99 (less than an order at Starbucks, just saying) to obtain my book legally? LET ME KNOW.
  • I feel like I have a lot more I could say, but I’m seriously just upset and can’t decide if I want to go inside and get away from all this or bury myself in writing and get away from all this.

(Coming back WELL after the fact to clear one thing up. Looking back at this post now and seeing the bit where I give out my email, I’m realizing that could potentially be taken the wrong way. I wasn’t saying that I don’t want to get emails from actual PEOPLE. I was talking about ACTUAL spam, which is much more likely to happen by just typing my email address out. Just wanted to be clear.)