I’m sitting here a few days after the fact still trying to process this. (If you’re just stopping by and don’t have a clue what I’m talking about – or what I will be talking about – you can read my previous post here.) I’ve gone through a pretty wide range of emotions since learning that Reave is being pirated, everything from outright fury to something I can only describe as down. Since putting word out there that this has happened, I’ve realized . . . it happens A LOT more than one would think. I’m not the sort of person that rationalizes bad things happening by saying, “This happens, and that makes it okay.”
I feel worse. It’s, “This happens way too much and it’s so far from okay.”
When most people are sick, they don’t wish for other people to get sick. (Unless you’re the sort of person that laughs maniacally for getting sick-germs all over a person’s face.) Most people don’t wish that.
How I’m feeling a few days after the fact is: Why does this have to happen? Why do we, as people, have to completely disregard others? Just . . . why? (I could also ask, ‘Why are you insisting on sneezing your sick-germs on my face?’)
We aren’t all like that, and I really would still like to believe that most people – when given the choice – will do the right thing. But there’s all this stuff going on everywhere, all this crazy, absolutely horrible stuff with people disregarding the person standing next to them. Worse, people blindly hating the person standing next to them. And for what? Because they’re different? How are we as a culture not past this by now?
I have my opinions on all that, those questions (and more). I have a lot of opinions, and I pretty much always keep mine to myself. I only share my opinions with a few select people who I know can and will respect them or won’t think differently of me because of them.
I don’t ever get opiniony (non-word) on my blog. I talk about work on my blog. But my work getting essentially stolen from me (still having a hard time grasping that) makes this work-related. Roundabout.
My husband started a new job recently. (That’s the adjustment mentioned several entries ago.) He has to deal with people at this new job. Now, my husband is great with people. He’s seriously the nicest person ever. (Not to mention that he’s extremely nice to look at along with that. It’s a conundrum, I know.) He’s so level-headed and relaxed about everything. (I have no idea how he can tolerate me.) Some of the stuff I’ve listened to him say when coming home is . . . . . . . . Well, it doesn’t give me much hope for the future of the human race, I’ll say that.
So I’ve been hearing that. I’ve been walking past when the TV is on the news (which I’ve always tried to avoid due to it inevitably making me unbearably sad). Then I had this happen to me, with the piracy. So there are quite a few pieces of straw on the camel’s back, if you will.
I’m so . . . disappointed.
To me, there’s a major difference between downloading a free book and being the one who steals someone’s work to make it available for those people to download. There’s a difference in that and being the facilitator (site).
There’s a difference between being the stander-by while your friend is pulling their pants down in front of kids (WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!) and being the one who’s doing it. There’s a difference between that and being the person who *tries* to physically assault someone for just doing their job because you decided to be an ass. (Is that literal enough?) (And by the way? *TRYING to physically assault veterans? Yeah . . . probably not the brightest idea ever.) (Can I ask . . . Who is raising these people to be this way?)
I’m not even going to get into what’s going on in the WORLD. But really?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
I usually write about this sort of stuff in my books – not these acts, thank god, but human nature. As much as I try to keep my distance from people (DO I NEED TO SAY WHY?), human nature is and will always be nothing short of fascinating to me. But let me tell ya . . . I would so much rather write about it.
Needless to say, I’m having a pretty difficult time trying to find the motivation to interact. I really just want to go into hermit-mode until I’m feeling better. I’m just really down right now, to be honest, and I really don’t like interacting when I’m down. That’s more so because I don’t like putting my stuff on other people than a legitimate desire to be away. If I’m down, I don’t want to drag anyone else there with me because that’s not right. And I always worry that if I try interacting while in that sort of mood, someone will be able to tell and might potentially feel bad right along with me. (Even if it’s just for the minute or two they might be reading whatever.)
I’m also sort of struggling with trying to get book 1 of the trilogy ready for release. I was super excited about it, and for right now? Yeah, kind of hard finding the usual energy in the tank for that.
With as much as I’ve heard this happens after telling about it happening to me, I’m wondering why I haven’t heard more about it. Like I’ve said, I’m extremely hesitant to say much of anything on here (about anything), so I’m wondering if that’s it. Nobody wants to make people angry or whatever. And I know there are the people out there who don’t care. (Exposure is exposure?) Or maybe I’m just missing posts about it. That’s possible. I’m pretty bad about that.
But you know, it’s not strictly the feeling of violation I’m going through. I’m worried. What if this illegal copy of my book has somehow been altered? What if it was messed with, these people download it, and it absolutely ruins my reputation? Is that reaching? Maybe. Do I think it’s a legitimate concern? Yes. There’s no way I could know as much because I’m not putting a virus on my computer (WITH ALL MY WORK ON IT) to find out. It’s possible, isn’t it?
It’s so scary thinking that you can put so much work into something and have it all ruined in an instant. It’s terrifying. That’s why I won’t give out information on upcoming books. I don’t want my ideas stolen. And apparently everything is fair game, right? Someone puts in all the effort and someone else messes it up? Right.
Human nature. *sigh*
I’ve warred with myself on posting this, and I’ll admit I warred with myself on leaving the initial post up. Nobody seems to be talking much about this out in the open, so is it taboo or something? But it’s like I said up top. I don’t believe that something happening or being ‘normal’ makes it okay. And I’m sorry (not sorry), but I’m just not okay with this sort of garbage happening.
We should have the right to say where our work goes and how it goes there. If we want our books to be free? They should be free. If we don’t want them free? They shouldn’t be available for free. (And again, I WILL GIVE OUT FREE E-BOOK COPIES.) That’s not wrong, and it’s not difficult.
I’m not angry at the people who downloaded it. I’m angry at whoever made it available. But ah, the joys of being separated by computer screens. Right?
Anyway. I don’t know what I’m going to do as of now. I might bury myself in writing. I might not. I really want to, just to sort of get my headspace readjusted. So if it takes me a while to get back with anyone, please don’t be upset with me. I’m trying to work through this. And to any/everyone else this has happened to? I am so sorry. I am genuinely sorry that anyone has had and will have to go through this. I wouldn’t wish this feeling or experience on anyone. We all work so hard.
I think we should all learn to cover our mouths when coughing/sneezing. Just saying.
(I had to go back into the previous post to clear one thing up where I was talking about my email address and spam. I just wanted to make sure I was being clear about it to ensure it wasn’t taken the wrong way.)
I’m so sorry to hear this. Piracy is a terrible crime, especially when it happens to authors. Writing is expensive, time consuming, and very difficult to make a profit off of. E-books are usually .99-4.99. Less than the price of a latte. I don’t understand why people don’t want to support the author.
Have you had it happen to you?
I’m pretty sure a lot of people are under the impression that authors make a CRAPTON of money, but I’ve even heard about NYT Bestsellers not making very much. It’s so difficult to get even remotely close to making a profit, and to be honest, that’s not even on my mind. All I’m concerned about with that sort of thing is making enough to put the other ones out. Realistically, that’s where I’m at with it and even THAT is pretty far off.
I really do think the thought-path goes along the lines of, ‘They make money. They won’t miss this sale.’
Or even just the simple, ‘It’s right here. It’s free. I can have this right now by clicking.’
But you’re absolutely right, and that’s the point I keep making with it – an order at Starbucks is more expensive than most e-books.
It’s really sad.
No, not yet, but I haven’t published yet. My sister is getting ready to though, and I hadn’t even thought about this happening to e-publishers. I guess I never thought people would want my books for free, but I think I may be giving people too much credit. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that.
I hate having to realize that I was giving people too much credit with something/anything.
It unfortunately seems like this happens A LOT. It’s something to be on the lookout for. I knew it happened before I published, but I didn’t realize it was as often as it is.
I’ll cross my fingers for both you and your sister. 🙂
I’m reading this post and loving to the next to understand what has happened. Obviously it was horrid. I extend healing hugs because that’s all I know to do. I’m going to see your previous post.
I appreciate the healing hugs immensely, seriously. I’ve definitely been needing a hug the last few days.
Not loving to the next – moving to the next, gggrrr, hands
🙂 I knew what you meant. Gotta love typos. (Almost typed typoes. Is that ironic?)
When the Internet entered it’s first real years, this issue of piracy appeared and it hasn’t gone away. Big media has been fighting it unsuccessfully for a decade now and nothing they throw at it really makes a dent. It is horrible for small artists who have little resources to really fight it or monitor (often who don’t have the time to check and send take down notices).
This isn’t such great advice but the only real thing you can do is ignore it. Don’t worry about if anyone changes things in your work of pirated material because honestly you shouldn’t care about their opinion, they are the people who make piracy successful. If no one used pirated works then pirates would be out of a job.
Just try to make the best product you can and those who purchase it through legitimate means will tell their friends and with a bit of hope that trend will continue.
That’s true. (All of what you said was.) You do have to wonder how, even with all their money, they can’t put a dent in it. (Big companies.)
I guess this is one of those instances where it’s not so great being the little guy.
And yeah, that’s one way to look at it. If the readers are getting the pirated material, it’s really not MY fault if it’s somehow messed up. Then again, who really cares about that sort of thing? I dunno. I’m trying not to get too down thinking about it.
The last paragraph? That’s all any of us can really do, right? Keep trudging along as best we can . . .
1. Warning of foul language: Many people are greedy bastard cunts who end up being the ones we notice more. They aren’t the majority, but they’re the ones we seem to think are the majority because their actions garner attention. Kind of like the loud, obnoxious fan at a football game, which opposing fans use as an example of his fanbase is ‘filled with idiots’. He just happens to be the loudest dumbass in the area while the other fans are quietly watching the game.
2. I wouldn’t obsess over this. Not because it isn’t wrong, illegal, or painful. Those all stand true. It’s because you can find yourself battling this to the point where you lose your mind. I’ve seen other authors get so obsessed with the illegal uploads that they quit, cancelled all future books, or done something else dramatic because they couldn’t get the sites to stop. I’ve tried all I could to get them to stop and it seems that they keep popping up. All I can think of doing is ignoring them and continuing to work because it’s really the only thing I can do that feels productive.
Yeah. Neither of these things help boost a love of humanity, but I would consider that you’re only seeing a bastard minority in action. If you can find a way to contact them and get it removed then I’d say go for it. Though many sites aren’t making it easy or possible.
1) That was an exceptional comparison. It really was. And I know I’ve actually judged the whole by the few where sports fans are concerned. (I watch UK basketball pretty religiously, and away games are sometimes unbearable to watch.)
It’s so easy to do that though, you know (focus on the most obnoxious thing/person)? Especially when the minority can get pretty close to ruining the experience. (Still talking about sports here, but I suppose it’s somewhat applicable with this situation as well.)
And I suppose this could get me back on something I know we’ve chatted about on here before, which is why people think their opinions NEED to be heard. (That has to be stretched pretty far to still be applicable.)
2) I can definitely see how it could discourage people to that degree. (Rhyming.) I really think that if I wasn’t so focused/determined where the work is concerned, this probably would’ve affected me MUCH more than it has been. And it’s been pretty substantial as it is.
I just know that I can’t NOT do this, you know? I wouldn’t be ME if I wasn’t writing books. And I wouldn’t think it was even remotely fair to the people who legitimately enjoy my work to drop off the face of the earth forever just because a few jackoffs decided to rip my stuff off. So I guess we all have to just keep trudging along and be unwilling to get stuck in the mud.
I mean, I’m hurt and I’m upset and angry. But it is what it is, I suppose, and there are worse things. (Plagiarism or having ideas stolen would be MUCH worse, in my opinion.)
I don’t really need anything to push any love I feel for humanity farther in the direction it already is. (I think I worded that well enough to get my point across, but I’m still not awake enough to be entirely sure.) It really is stuff like this – and all the other things I ranted about in this post – that makes me want to go back into hermit-mode. Or at least go farther into hermit-mode than I already am, which would be as far as I used to be. Responsibilities to work though, and all . . . I’m sure you get it.
Anyway, thanks for the foul (what I would call ‘normal’) language. Sometimes (like now) I really wish I wouldn’t have gone into blogging with my starring-out policy. But yeah, it was nice to see a comment more along the lines of what I want to say than what I DID say, if that makes sense.
I disagree with you on one point: Those who download a pirated book are absolutely as bad, and guilty, as those who make it available.
I guess my reasoning with that is it’s a lot more understandable to just click and get it for free than to be the one who actually made it available. Not saying it’s understandable in the sense that it’s okay, only that it’s more understandable (to me) where human nature is concerned. I get why they did/do that. I’m not okay with it, but I get it.
I guess I’m feeling that if I start hating people for lack of thought (rather than feeling how I currently do about it), I’m going to get THAT MUCH CLOSER to the edge of something I’m already startlingly close to, which would likely result in me withdrawing from any form of society completely. Kind of hard to do that when doing all this (with releasing books and whatnot) sort of requires you to be ‘out there.’ (The lack of thought thing is what I’m assuming the downloading is. ‘This is here. It’s free. I want this. It’s free. I’m going to get it.’)
I just think it takes a different sort of person to actually be the one to STEAL the work, and I’m looking at it (the downloading) with a ‘lesser of two evils’ mindset.
That comment probably made me sound somewhat bad, but it is what it is . . .
I agree with Charles (with maybe more genteel language). And John is correct, the people who are downloading pirated music and books are just as guilty and evil. But do not obsess over it. Peace
The language Charles used was/is more on-par with how I’m feeling about it, lol.
I guess my whole thing with that (how I feel about the downloaders opposed to the uploader) is all to do with human nature and finding one more understandable in that regard than the other. I’m worried about focusing so much on that aspect of it.
I’m trying VERY HARD not to obsess over it all. Could definitely use some peace right about now. I should probably go write for a while.
Hope you’re doing well, Pamela.
Pingback: Positivity Journal, Day 50 | C. Miller