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Positivity Journal

I usually apologize when I haven’t been on here (or anywhere) for a while. I’m not going to do that this time. I’ll explain, and explaining will (eventually) get me to the title of this post. This is going to be a long one. Proceed if you dare . . .

I posted something about a month ago that I really didn’t want to, talking about how I (mentally) was not doing so great. Then I posted about two weeks later that I was feeling better (in comparison). The in comparison was key there. The fact of the matter is that the not-so-greatness has been going on for well over a month and a half now. I’d usually rather not say anything like that, and I believe I’ve only done so on here a small handful of times. No matter what sort of stuff [going on in my life] I talk about on here, this is ‘work-related’ to me. This blog has my ‘author name’ on it, my ‘author photo,’ etc. This isn’t a space where I toss my deepest feelings out into the abyss of the interwebz. I don’t toss my deepest feelings out anywhere, really, apart from in one-on-one conversations. That’s just me. So apart from saying, “I’m in a weird/bad/whatever headspace,” there’s usually not anything like that. That might change one day, but I’m not holding my breath for it.

The only reason I ever post things along the lines of what I did a month or so ago is when whatever headspace I’m in starts impacting my work rather than my life outside of work. It definitely has this time.

Typically, when I get in ‘a mood,’ I’m so preoccupied with work that I don’t even have the time to think about it. I have such a one-track mind and get so focused on what I’m doing that whatever else is going on in my life sort of slips somewhere behind a closed door in the back of my head. Sometimes (like when I’m writing), I’ll get so caught up in what I’m doing that the door doesn’t even have the chance to get opened again. Then, by the time I might’ve gotten around to it, whatever was causing the unpleasantness has usually lessened for some reason or another. (Issues getting resolved or me just calming down about whatever it was.)

This has probably been the worst mindset I’ve been in for . . . a very long time. I tried just about everything to drag myself out of it. I wrote. (I FINISHED ANOTHER BOOK.) I did (a few) non-writing work-related things. I got out of the shed. (A lot of that was due to a messed up sleep schedule/sleep related issues and it being too hot for me out here.) I played video games. I watched some TV. Did (a few) things outside (and got a good reminder of why I enjoy being indoors). I EVEN GOT OUT OF THE STATE.

I really tried just about everything, and no matter how okay (and even sometimes great) I would be doing at any point, I kept mentally backsliding. Now, we all know (and I have no problem with admitting) that I am a very negative person. (Not outwardly, but inside my head.) I used to consider myself realistic, and I don’t think it really hit me just how much I was kidding myself with that until pretty recently. I do believe that I look at the glass as neither half-full nor half-empty, only that there’s a glass filled to the midway point, but I’m always worst-case scenario. I’m always planning things out and trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever horrible thing that’s next on the path. That’s just me. And really, in a way, I’m totally fine with that. I wouldn’t be me if my dad couldn’t make jokes about the sky falling and me responding with something like, “If [whatever] happened . . . it could.”

I don’t have a problem with that sort of thing, but I WILL admit that I’m getting worse about it, and I don’t like that. I feel like in a lot of ways, my anxiety has even gotten worse. And I’ve been trying to push myself out of my ‘safe bubble comfort zone’ for a while now.

And it’s so freaking weird, because at some point along the way, I’d slowed down all the negativity in my head that I was really worried about – the negativity that pertained to my work. The, ‘What makes you think you could ever do this?’ sort of questions. The, ‘You know you’re not good enough for this,’ remarks. The responses to those had turned into, “Because I can,” and either, “Yes I am,” or, “I’m doing it anyway.”

So what’s been with the mood? I’m still not really sure, but I’ll be honest and admit that I’ve kind of been a wreck lately. I’m sure pretty much everybody knows there are some times that are harder than others to put a (figurative or literal) smile on your face just because you have to. It’s been hard for me lately, when trying to take care of all the stuff that needs doing. So I didn’t do much of it.

I cry a lot over weird things. Movies, TV shows, sometimes music. Sometimes commercials. When I say cry, I mean tear up. I don’t actually cry often. (You may think it’s not weird to cry at the things I mentioned, but it’s what sets it off that makes the crying so weird. If I watch LOTR:ROTK by myself, I’ll sob when they’re all riding into battle. It’s just so epic. Even after watching it more times than I even know, I still fight against sobs.) I cry REAL GOOD (getting all Southern there) when I’m writing/editing sometimes. The point of saying that or even bringing it up at all is . . . I don’t cry about my real life often. Once in a blue moon, usually when I’m extremely frustrated over something that makes complete sense to be up-in-the-air about. So when it gets to the point where nothing in particular has happened, and I’m just feeling nothing short of completely broken down . . . that obviously means I let myself get past an okay point to be.

I don’t really have a solution for it. (Though starting to re-watch Merlin drastically improved my mood.) I can’t magically make this workload go down. Even working on it doesn’t really put a dent in it. This isn’t a story in a book I’m writing, where I can depend on fake people to fix something. This is my real life. I’m just a feeble, little human. And no matter how I feel about my books, or my work in general, sometimes I need a good reminding that I’m more important than they are. (Because I can’t get them out of my head if I’m not in a place where I can.) It’s easy to forget sometimes, and it’s just as easy to beat myself up over needing to get whatever done and not doing it when I think I should.

So while it almost feels like it killed a part of my soul (I say that about a lot of things but rarely mean it like I do here) to not work as much, or as well, or as efficiently as what I ‘should’ have . . . I needed the break. That’s why I really can’t apologize for missing the posts I’d JUST set a schedule for, because I needed to take care of myself. And you know what? It’s been really freaking nice to spend some substantial time with my husband.

I’ve realized that I can’t stick to any sort of actual schedule right now. I just can’t manage it, and that’s okay. (Did more of that writing up posts on here and not posting them stuff.) Trying to do that didn’t actually help like I thought it would. It just made things worse for me. So I’m just going to post about whatever, whenever (like I’ve done pretty much forever on here). The sky isn’t going to fall down. People might have issues with how long it’s taken me to comment back, but I WILL comment back. And I’d rather say what I want to say when I can say it than say what I can say in a small space of time. (That makes sense in my head. I know I could’ve worded it better.)

Anyway, the whole point of all this is the title. I read an article today, and it was almost like something clicked in my head. I really feel like I’ve been in this cesspool of negativity for FAR too long. (I don’t like not being able to work.) I thought of an idea earlier.

I’m going to start a positivity journal. Not like a real journal, with feelings and all. More like a list.

I wrote however many words today. I actually went to the gym. I got whatever done. This happened. So and so said this to me. I laughed about some event.

And not all positives either. I’m going to put the negatives in there too. (Herald’s E-key broke. Husband fixed it.) Because when you break down your days, you might have one massive negative, but you’re going to have a crapton of small positives thrown in there. For someone who naturally focuses on negatives . . .

I just don’t want to do that anymore. I feel like writing it all down might put things in a different perspective for me. I’m hoping so.

I’m just a feeble, little human, and my feelings are relevant. Being down, or overwhelmed, or sad, or angry . . . that’s relevant. But those are the things I naturally cling to. Those are the things I typically remember when all of this other stuff slips out of my head. (My memory is so bad.) And I would really like to remember everything else.

Husband and I had a talk about [something awesome] today. It really meant a lot to me.

I accomplished this today.

So I’ll be able to look back at some point, and I’ll remember the moment of writing it down if I write it down, meaning I’ll actually remember the event. (I remember almost everything that I actually write down.) One thousand words written might not seem like much, but they add up. Add about 90,000 more and you’ve got a book. All the days broken down.

I don’t expect doing this to change me. I’m the most self-deprecating person ever. (If you want to challenge me on that, we’ll lose together.) I’ve mastered getting in my own way, and I’ve lived most of my life like that. (What a skill to master!) So I might have a day where the sky is falling down inside my head because my anxiety is intent on pulling the damn thing down, but that doesn’t change what’s going on around me.

My feelings, no matter how relevant, do not undermine my accomplishments, my dreams, or the good things that happen to me.

I’m not aiming to fill my life with only positives. I’m too realistic (there’s that word again) for that. I’m aiming to acknowledge and accept the positives that already exist. That’s all, and I think this is a good start.

I know there are a lot of people like me out there, and really . . . I just wish so badly that we could all let ourselves focus on the good. Good things happen. It’s easy to forget sometimes, overlook. I just don’t want to do that anymore. Whatever struggles anyone else is going through . . . I hope you find a way to overcome them. I really do. I’m working on my way.

No matter what I’m working on, I just have to remember that my most important WIP . . . is me.


19 thoughts on “Positivity Journal

  1. Yep you are right. I’m totally one of those and I’m almost always looking at the bad or realistic side of things when I should be looking at the good every once in a while. I probably won’t right a journal about it, but I should at least thing about the things that make me happy, no matter how small.

    • That’s kind of the goal, just thinking about them. Well, that and remembering them.

      I’ve been pretty good about it so far. That’s nothing to be impressed about because I’m only on day two. But I’ve gotten quite a bit written down, and that’s good.

  2. It’s very big of you to recognize your problems and work on them. I know what it’s like to be someone who almost never cries finding yourself in this suddenly bad place. Just know that you should always be your own first priority, and I’m sure you’ll get through this. And I think the journal is a great way for you to do just that!

    • Thanks. As I said in the post, I’m pretty much the most self-deprecating person ever. I’m always pointing out my problems (inside my head), but at least I TRY working on them.

      The crying thing was definitely weird. I honestly can’t think of another time where I was just crying for no particular reason.

      The journal actually does seem to be helping. It’s been interesting getting to put so many + bullets next to things. It really is all about perspective, I think.
      Then again, I’ve been watching bits of Merlin here and there on downtime and that makes me happy. I love that show.

      Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂

  3. I think the feelings you describe are inherent to a lot of writers. We tend to hide behind and identify with our creations instead of confronting the real, feeling “feeble little human” behind it all. I often find myself so lost in the mundane details of my story that I neglect the VASTLY more important things that command my attention — particularly my own mental (and physical) well-being.

    Meditate. Take a long bath. Force yourself to go for a walk. Treat yourself to these moments of Zen in spite of what your writing demands of you. When it comes to your mental health, your writing is insignificant. Your creations are transient little things that owe you their existence, not the other way around.

    I’m essentially parroting everything you’ve already spelled out here. I just want you to know that you’re not alone (not even remotely) and you don’t owe anybody anything.

    Be well,


    P.S. Epic things get me misty-eyed too. Don’t tell anybody. 🙂

    • Okay, before responding to this, I just have to say . . .
      That’s pretty cool. 😀

      Anyway . . .

      I do think a lot of writers deal with the same issue. If not that one specifically then a very similar one. (Obviously that doesn’t include those delusional people who think that everything they do is THE MOST AMAZING THING IN THE WORLD. Blows my mind, but I digress . . .)

      It really is easy to kind of get lost somewhere behind all of it. I mean, it’s essentially you spending all your time writing someone else’s story. So you kind of forget that you have your own story as well, and that really can mess with all the well-beings. (ALL OF THEM.) O.o

      Haha, I definitely need to slow down sometimes. I worry about my mental health in a different way when I do though. I can’t stand not doing anything, and when I chill out for more than a few minutes I feel like I’m losing my mind. Do you get that way?

      I liked what you said though. ‘Your creations are transient little things that owe you their existence, not the other way around.’
      Definitely something to always (try to) keep in mind.

      Thanks for leaving the comment. I keep trying to think of a good ‘cheerleading’ thing to say, but I’m coming up blank. Well, not blank, but I’m not liking any of the options. So I’ll just say thanks again. XD

      You be well too!

      – C

      PS) Another thanks for your PS. I guess anybody could see that on here, so we’ll just kind of overlook that with the ‘don’t tell anybody’ part.
      How can that sort of stuff NOT get to a person? I mean, really? The MUSIC while it’s all going on?
      You know that song Pippin sings? That gets to me every time. Husband and I were seeing Guardians of the Galaxy and they had the new Hobbit trailer with that song, and I teared up a bit. Kind of funny . . .
      (This was a long PS)

      Sorry that I went a little overboard in this. I might’ve freaked out a bit with the ‘more than 140 characters’ thing . . .

      • It’s exciting to finally “write at” each other!

        Seriously, that 140 character cap is DEBILITATING. How are we supposed to use our big, fancy, writer words in that space and still formulate a complete thought? Impossible.

        The simple answer to whether or not I lose my mind when I make myself chill out is “yes,” but the more complicated answer is that I only start to lose my mind if I feel like I’m not doing something that is contributing to my fictional worlds (which sounds really bad now that I’ve spelled it out).

        I find that I either need to be researching or writing to maintain my calm. At the same time, researching can feel a lot like doing nothing and can drone on for hours. This is where I really start to lose touch with reality and equally my mind — this is where I truly need to stop and take some time for ME (and my wife, bless her).

        And don’t worry, the “don’t tell anybody” was said with complete awareness that anyone can see this. I am not ashamed of my awestruck man tears. XD It also happens when I get a really great idea. If an idea can evoke that much emotion in me, it’s usually a keeper.

        I had to look up Pippin’s Song, to be honest :P, and while Lord of the Rings isn’t my “trigger,” I have a similar response to the scene in Jurassic Park where the Brachiosaurus first appears. Gets me every time.

        Goodness, we’re really taking advantage of having 140+ characters … like two caged animals who are finally free.

        Okay, C (I know your non-writer name too, thanks to Facebook! Cue heavy breathing), we will talk later. Maybe in 140 characters or less, MAYBE MORE.


      • YES, IT IS! Super exciting. 😀

        Haha, I agree about the cap. I have to admit that I’m always pleased with myself when I can fit ANYTHING into a tweet. I’m so long-winded that it really seems impossible sometimes. It bothers me the most when I’m trying (or would like) to carry on a conversation with people. *cough*

        Someone else might say that sounds bad. I didn’t think it sounded bad at all. I mean . . . I CAN’T think that sounds bad, unless I need to reevaluate the way I’m living my life. (Which is possible . . .)
        No, really, it feels like there’s not enough time in the day to get everything done that I need to get done where my work is concerned, so I get it. Drives me nuts to feel like I’m not being productive.

        Have you ever had to do the psychotic research? Like . . . the sort of stuff that makes you worry you’re going to get put on some ‘government list’?
        I don’t have to do TOO much research, but there have been the few odd things that required looking up. The sort of things you kind of just have to shake your head about.

        I could add a ‘bless him’ just about anytime I’m talking about my husband. Sometimes I really have to wonder how he deals with me and all the time spent working. I guess we lucked out in the spouse department?

        If it makes you feel any better, nobody will probably see that comment.
        Good for you though, not being ashamed. Takes a real man not to be ashamed of that. XD

        I can relate to the idea thing bringing about tears, but it’s not usually that for me. It’s usually a feeling brought on by something else (music, etc.) that makes me think about a character and what they were potentially going through at whichever time. That always gets to me.

        I was going to say, “YOU HAD TO LOOK UP PIPPIN’S SONG?!”
        But I can’t really say that because one of my best friends has never even watched the movies. (GAAAAAAH!)

        Can we just stop for a second and talk about Jurassic Park?
        (Not really calling for a stop since I’m totally carrying on.)

        There was this one summer when I was young, I watched it EVERY DAY on VHS. Sometimes when I missed a day, I would watch it twice on the next. (I get like that with things, sometimes, even still. Not usually to that extreme.)

        Seriously though. Because they used (mostly) animatronics, that movie will be good FOREVER. Seriously love it.
        I almost want to watch it again now to see which part would get to me the most. Probably the music.

        Haha, I suppose the caged animals thing would be a pretty accurate description. You’re probably thinking, ‘Yeah, I totally should’ve just left it on Twitter.’ XD

        I thought I heard some breathing outside my window earlier. I guess it all makes sense now. XD

        Preferably more. Always preferably more. Do you feel like a moron when you have to space things out into two tweets? And do you feel like a moron every time you use the word ‘tweet(s)’ in that context? Is it just me?

        – C

      • Forgive me for taking so long to respond! I had quite the trip to a remote country neighboring Romania this past week. So many great places to write there, but so little time! (Was meeting the in-laws)

        Picking up where we left off … perhaps it only sounds bad to me because all my countless hours of research have yet to culminate in a published work, therefore making it feel suspiciously like “wasted time” instead of productivity. Did you have that feeling at all before you published Reave?

        And I’ve definitely had to research some unsavory things, though I’m not sure they’d land me on any watch lists (Or perhaps I’m underestimating the Government O_o). My current series involves a lot of research into conspiracy stuff — UFOs, aliens and other fringe theories, so if anyone comes knocking on my door, it may just be my main character…

        Oh man, I just mind f***ed myself. 😀

        Also, don’t be too hard on your friend for not seeing LOTR. My wife has yet to see a single Star Wars movie. One day I will have to indoctrinate her, but I fear that she will perceive it as some form of cruel torture, so I’m apprehensive…

        Jurassic Park will always be a movie that stays with me. I still remember when my dad took me to the theatre to see it, which was absurdly long ago (1993!). And I cannot WAIT for Jurassic World. Chris Pratt is rumored to be a Velociraptor Behavior Specialist in that one! Chris Pratt + Raptors has got to be a foolproof equation for awesomeness, right?

        We seriously need to find a better venue for our conversations. We’re either on Twitter and struggling to articulate a complete thought, or we’re somewhere buried in the boondocks of one of your blog posts.

        And now, NOW, I’m going to go sulk in a corner and be jealous about how you write in a freaking PRIVATE SHED. My wife and I are going to have to have a conversation about how we can move somewhere that I can have a shed (Not here in Los Angeles, that’s for damned sure…).

      • Forgive ME for taking so long to respond! I definitely don’t have as good of an excuse as you did. I’ve just been playing Destiny (for the most part).
        How was your trip?! (And meeting the in-laws? That’s always fun . . . . . .)

        Hm. To talk on what you said, I’ll answer the question first. I didn’t feel that way with Reave, but I don’t do TOO much research. I look at the first series I wrote as something similar (to ‘doing research’) and even though that took . . . quite a while, I can’t look at it as a waste of time. I look at it as taking steps closer to the end result, so as long as you’re moving in whichever direction you feel is right for you . . . how can it be a waste of time? Sure there ARE the times where you want/need to be moving a bit faster than you are, but progress toward the goal is progress toward the goal.
        And hey, at least you’ll have a crapton of research at your disposal to help you get there.
        Am I being the cheerleader again? >.>

        LoL. It’s sort of easy to underestimate the government, don’t you think? I can only imagine the sort of stuff you’ve read if you’re looking into that. There are some absolutely insane theories out there. I’m sure it would make for some interesting reading . . .
        (I could say more about watch lists, but I should probably leave it.)

        There are definitely worse things than mind fu***ng yourself. I actually kind of love it when that happens.

        I try not to be hard on the friend about LOTR. He’s made it sort of easy a few times. I’m a firm believer in letting people like what they like/dislike what they dislike. But I don’t like listening to people talking crap in general. ESPECIALLY don’t want to hear it when they don’t even know what they’re talking about. If you want to hate something, by all means, hate it ’til your heart’s content, but at least know what you’re hating. If he were anyone else, I’d probably tell him to F off for that, but it’s all in good fun.

        I made a former friend (female) sit through at least two of the (original) Star Wars movies and it was definitely torturous for her. Is your wife set on not liking it, or is she just not into that sort of thing?
        Who knows . . . she might love it. But then I could get into the question as to whether, at this point in time, it’s possible to fall in love with that series as it currently stands without having the history of it pushing that love forward. (But I’ll get into a George Lucas rant.)

        I know my parents took me to see Jurassic Park in theaters twice, but I don’t remember actually going. (I was five . . .) But yeah, that’s one of my favorites.
        Seriously looking forward to that. I love him from Parks and Rec, but my god, I was sooo impressed with him in GotG. I WOULD like to see him play a different sort of character, but he’s just so great at being THAT GUY.
        But yes, that sounds like a foolproof equation for awesomeness, for sure. 😀

        I agree about finding a better venue. Twitter really makes things difficult, and yeah, we’re sort of buried in the blog posts now. Any suggestions?

        The shed is SERIOUSLY fantastic. I love having my own space. I love that my own space is separated from the ‘main dwelling area’. It’s really great for the isolated feeling I need to be able to actually WORK.
        I can see how the shed would be difficult in Los Angeles.
        I really think that everyone needs their own ‘shed’ (even if just the equivalent of one), so I hope you get yours one day. 🙂

      • “Progress toward the goal is progress toward the goal,” yes, the cheerleading is strong with this one (in my best Darth Vader hiss). That’s what I try to tell myself, but never feel convinced. Hearing it from Ms. Professional Author on the other hand, that makes it count. 🙂

        My stories tend to require a great deal of research because they pull inspiration from so many sources. From fringe theories to mythology to quantum physics. At a certain point though, you have to cut the thread and not let the research overly affect the story. “Don’t let the facts get in the way of a good story,” as the saying goes.

        My wife is, GASP, not a nerd! Because of this I can hardly ever gauge how she will respond. She’ll watch just about any sci-fi/fantasy movie with me, because, y’know — LOVE — but she’ll be sure to express how terrible it was after the fact. An example: Avengers = horrifyingly bad, but GotG = amazingly good. Star Wars is definitely closer to the latter though, so maybe she’ll enjoy it.

        Lastly, I’ve already begun my shed research. XD And as it turns out, a surprising number of famous authors have/had a writing shed! This only adds to my desire. Focusing on writing is insanely difficult for me at the moment because I am distracted by ALL THE THINGS — the cat meowing, the neighbor’s music, the wife talking, the cars buzzing by on the freeway. I definitely require my “space,” so that I can exist solely inside my own head for as long as I’m there.

        I suppose the boondocks of your Positivity Journal is a perfectly fine place for our conversation. It’s bound to wane out eventually and return to Twitter anyway … right? XD I’m not in any rush, and I’m sure your website appreciates the traffic since I have no way of knowing when you respond other than refresh, refresh, refresh!

      • And of course I had to hear it in the Darth Vader voice, or someone attempting it.
        Now I’m mentally comparing Darth Vader to Bane, voice-wise. >.>

        Ms. Professional Author. HA

        Anyway, I’m glad to help. There are a sh**ton of things I tell myself that I’m not sure I really believe. Like . . . part of me does while the other is like, “You realize you’re just telling yourself this so you don’t lose your mind, right?” Pessimism and optimism warring with realism. lol
        But I really do honestly believe what I said about progress. 100%

        Sounds like your story is going to be insane. (Good insane.) Can’t wait to read it!
        How is it coming along?

        I’ll agree with the facts/story thing. Yep.

        LOL, about the *gasp*. I don’t think only nerds are into the ‘nerd culture’. At least not anymore. Is there even a line with that? I say that, but the same friend mentioned in previous comments . . . yeah, there’s still a line with it.
        I always look at it as people liking what they like, and that’s all fine and good. It’s just . . . how do you find things in common with a person without shared interests? Not that one needs to have a ridiculous amount of things in common to get along with someone, but that does make it easier. (To have conversations and whatnot.)
        If I hated video games, I doubt my marriage would be even SOMEWHAT okay. That’s what my husband does . . . pretty much all the time. But I love gaming, and I can get into some deep conversations about games, so it works. (Rather than me being like, “PUT THE CONTROLLER DOWN!”) Everyone has their ‘thing’. I think a lot of people don’t really accept that. I’m TOTALLY digressing with this and getting into something else. My apologies.

        I just have to take a moment though to process anyone thinking The Avengers was ‘horrifyingly bad’. Still processing it.
        Moving on.

        You’re doing shed research?! Haha, you REALLY weren’t exaggerating about the researching, were you?!
        I didn’t know that about there being authors who had sheds. I mean, it still seems weird to me (possibly from a lot of the things I’ve heard about it), but it also makes sense. It’s EXACTLY what you said about distractions. I definitely need my space, and I really enjoy having my space be separate from everything.

        LoL, I suppose this is an alright place. I was thinking about Facebook, but I’m hardly ever on there for more than a few minutes at a time (if that), and I keep weird hours. Also, there would be the whole ‘live chatting’ O.o stuff. (ha)
        Preferably no with the Twitter! I’m so bad at getting out anything that makes the smallest bit of sense there.
        Okay, about the repeated refreshing . . . I did NOT realize that. I have a solution.
        How about whenever I respond to your comment, I send you a DM on Twitter so you’re not having to waste your time thinking about it?

  4. Well done for starting it, and keep at it!

    I’m similarly negative in my outlook generally and tend to be really critical of myself or what I’m doing, but then isn’t everyone?

    I think the best thing about what you’ve said is that at least you’ve acknowledged it, and you are trying to change in a positive way. There’s always going to be a mental struggle to fight the negative voices which for some is a lot harder than others, but being aware of it and actively trying to overcome it is the most positive thing you can do!

    • Thanks. 😀

      I think a lot of people are that way, but a lot also aren’t. I’ve seen a few who could probably benefit from being a little more self-critical. That’s a very not-nice thing for me to say (or might seem that way), but I think that (being self-critical) can help motivate people to improve. (As long as it doesn’t drag them down.) And really? A bit of that negatively realistic outlook is needed to pull people back down to reality. I just think there’s a major difference between healthy doses of both those, and then you have the people like me that pretty much wallow in them. LoL

      I definitely think it’s important for people to acknowledge their faults (which could get me digressing into this major spiel about how faults are subjective) if they want to improve. And THEN I could get on another spiel about struggling through negativity (or anything) and character building. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today, wanting to go all philosophical on you in a blog comment. I apologize.

      But I really have to thank you for all the positive words. 🙂

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