Home » Update » I’m giving in . . .

I’m giving in . . .

should be doing my Friday music post today, but I’m not going to. I actually have a song I want to put up, but I’d just post this immediately after and I don’t want that song to get lost in the sauce, soooo . . . I’ll wait for it. (If anyone watches Psych, feel free to hear Shawn pulling one of his ‘wait for it’ moments there, even though it’s not really applicable. Just fun.)

This blog entry is part apology, part update, part . . . something.

I’ve fallen behind on everything. Email responses, messages, comments on here, Twitter. I’m just behind. I don’t know how it happened, really, but it totally did. So, I’m sorry for that.

I finished inputting the changes from this run-through of B3 (hitting the halfway point where adding became nearly impossible REALLY helped speed things up) just a few minutes ago. This means:

I am getting ready to start inputting the changes from the LAST edit of B4, so I can do another run(inch)-through of that one. (I’ll add here that I absolutely freaking DESPISE inputting changes). This means:

I will PROBABLY not be on here often.

A) Having to do two IC sessions in a row makes me EXTREMELY miserable (which is why I occasionally put them off until they need to be done). It will be DAYS of doing this (already a couple in), and that puts me in an EXTREMELY bad mood.

B) No matter how many times I go through B4 . . . I always get caught up in it. I can’t help it. It’s my favorite.

C) I started writing here and there the other day, just for an hour or two at a time. But what I was/am writing is a side-story to the Reave series, and it involves my favorite character (Aster does not count). Meaning . . . I want to write it. Granted, it’s sucking puh-retty bad at the moment, but still.

I don’t know what it is about the past week, but I just feel like I’ve been struggling to get a leg up on anything I need to do, and it’s been making me miserable. Yes, I’d been pretty good about keeping to the schedule, and that is a BIG accomplishment for me. But I think I just need to take a bit of time to myself right now and chill out. That does NOT mean I won’t be working. It means I WILL be working.

That also doesn’t mean that I won’t make posts on here, but I think I’m just stressing myself out with all the NEED-TO-DO’s. So while I’m doing all that book-related stuff, I’m going to be whittling away at the emails I need to respond to, the comments I need to respond to, etc. etc. I’m going to try to catch up rather than get myself farther behind, which is all I seem to be doing at the moment.

And I’m going to enjoy myself by going through B4 again after another miserable day or two spent on IC. I really, really hate doing that. I’m going to get started on that tonight, and hopefully will finish it up tomorrow if I power through.

But yeah, I might make a few posts here and there, and I’m going to get back to the schedule. I just don’t know if that’s going to be on this coming Wednesday or a month from now. I don’t know. I’ll be on here (and Twitter, etc.) when I can. I might not be gone long at all. I’m not sure yet. That will depend on how long it takes me to catch up on everything. (Yes, everyone can add here that it wouldn’t take me so long to respond to things if I didn’t write mini-novels almost every time.)

I really know I should be focusing on promotion and all that, but I suck at it anyway. So, if you’ve read Reave and like it . . . tell your friends and neighbors (and random people passing), please. I just need to take a bit of a break from feeling like I suck at life, and I’ve been living in a nearly-constant state of that for a while now (minus a few tiny spots of time here and there).

I might feel better about that at some point.

I’ve been trying to tell myself this entire time that ‘disappearing’ is bad, and that it wouldn’t help anything, but . . . I think it will. I need to get in a better headspace because there is absolutely no point in being miserable, and I’m making myself miserable with all the stressing.

Please be patient with me while I try to get caught up on all this, and . . .

Please don’t forget about me. :/

25 thoughts on “I’m giving in . . .

  1. No need for apologies – every writer has his or her own internal timetable and more times than not “real life” gets in the way; then the writing Muses, plot bunnies and their ilk demand your attention – then the most meticulous scheduling gets thrown out the window.

    Best of luck with your writing/editing endeavors.

    • LoL, I wish my scheduling was meticulous. I still haven’t found a groove with it. I can’t believe I just said ‘found a groove’, but hey.

      It would be convenient if I could punch real life in the face for getting in the way. >.>

      Thanks, hope you’ve been well! 😀

    • LoL, I’ll admit I had a moment of wondering if you were saying, “You not being here makes here more fun.”
      Then I figured it out (at least I think).
      But you’re right about that. For sure. (If I’m taking it how you meant it.)

      • It’s totally fine. I took it the way you meant it at first, then had the ‘waaaaaaaaaaait a second’ moment. haha
        I got a good laugh out of it either way, so thanks for that. 🙂

      • I’m trying to figure out why I wasn’t following you (just saw that). I could’ve SWORN I was. Do you ever have problems with WP randomly unfollowing people? I’ve noticed that happen at LEAST a few other times.
        Now I’m angry.
        So I apologize for that. Not for being angry, but for the not-following thing. >.< :/

  2. God, you sound how I felt all last week. I took a two hour walk today and stared at trees. Extra sleep helped too. When I get that frazzled, it’s usually a sign that I need to get more information on whatever it is I am struggling with. Namely, selling books online. I started reading David Gaughran’s books, Let’s Get Digital and Let’s Get Visible. They are lifeavers. Have you read them? Well, have you?

    • What I wouldn’t give to take a two hour walk! I’d probably just be thinking about all the stuff I had to do and not relax at all anyway.

      No, I haven’t read those books. I will have to look them up. Getting people to find your work is DEFINITELY the most difficult aspect of this. Maybe we’ll all figure it out one day.

      • Only just the one as of now. The next will be coming out decently soon, but all that makes me think that I almost shouldn’t even be worrying about ‘getting it out there’ at the moment anyway. I’ve heard (read) it doesn’t make much of a difference until you have multiple released.
        Who really knows though?

      • When I decided to walk the indie plank, I had had about 6 years of material from pretty steady writing. That equates to 6 novels and half a dozen short stories worth their salt. I see people writing the one book, then going all out on marketing, book fairs, book displays, social media and I think, “okay, but when do you write the next book?” Every pro will tell you things like “your next book is your best promotion” and “a series doesn’t take off until book 2 or 3.”

        The other thing is making your book available in all formats, ebook, print and audio. Have you tried getting someone to pick it up for a royalty split on ACX? Royalty split deal costs you nothing.

        My book Prizm: Dominatrix of Sulan (not erotica despite the title) is in production now. I would have done Demon of Montreal myself as an audio book, but alas I signed over the rights and didn’t even know it.

        I think of all these things as bread crumbs cast to the four winds to entice skittish readers to come nibble on my wares. I think if I don’t come out and glad hand them to death, they might find something they like and stick around or come back for more.

        Anyway, social media makes me crazy after a short while and then I shut my digital door and edit like mad and when that makes me dull, I write and when all that makes me exhausted, I read.

        I’ve been reading your book. It’s certainly well written. It reminds of Kushiel’s Dart. I like the main character pretty good. I am interested in the world and am wondering what will happen to her. Its not my genre of choice, being partial as I am to New Weird and horror based fantasy, but that doesn’t really matter.

        I, personally, would be more apt to get through it faster if i had the audio book because I listen to more books than I read because I work full time and most of my “reading time” is eclipsed by my writing time.

      • Yeah, I’m definitely glad I have other books written and waiting for one thing or another. It’s INSANE how little time you have for writing when you’re doing other stuff. I’m still trying to figure it all out, how to make time and whatnot.
        That’s kind of been what I’ve thought about it, just holding out and seeing what happens when I release a couple more.

        I hadn’t even really put much thought into audio, to be honest. Nobody has asked me about it or anything so it’s hardly done more than cross my mind. I will have to do more looking into it. Have many people wanted yours in audio?

        I REALLY hadn’t thought of doing it myself as an audio. Maybe because I don’t speak very well…
        How did you sign over the rights without knowing it, if you don’t mind me asking? That just sounds really bad. Should I say I’m sorry here? I know I would be livid if I found that out.

        That’s always the hope – that someone will enjoy it and stick around for other things.

        Social media has a similar effect on me. I just get so overwhelmed by it all, then I get farther behind, then more overwhelmed, on it goes. Sounds like you have a pretty good system going there. I’m working on mine. XD

        I’d never heard of Kushiel’s Dart. I might have to pick that up sometime, just to see.
        I’ll be honest, I didn’t read any of yours while I was taking that break. Partially because I was trying to get work done (which only worked to a certain degree) and partially because I really (REALLY) hate reading books on a screen. I didn’t realize just how badly I hated it until I was part of the way through. I dunno, it just takes away from the reading experience. I still plan on buying DOM in print when I have the money to (one day, I will NOT be broke). I’ll probably start it over then so I can actually focus on that rather than hearing the nagging in my head about the screens. Sorry. :/

        I definitely understand what you mean though. It’s hard to find time to read. I feel like I can’t find the time to breathe. I’m hoping for more of that (time) soon, but . . . is that even possible? -_-

      • You can make time, you know. Time doesn’t really exist. It’s just the measurement of motion against objects, like the movement of a clock equals so many heart beats. The way you make time, is you get things done faster. I know that maybe sounds silly. But, that is how you do it. You complete things, Quicker. I have to practice that more myself.

        Oh, I don’t think you could call it a system. Its the anti-system. Some writers assign themselves daily word quotas and targets to meet. I can’t work like that. I am more product oriented than production oriented. I try to get whatever it is, done. Like, finish the book. Complete the second draft. Or in the case of the first draft, begin chapter one. Finish chapter one. Like that. Sometimes I wish I could unplug from my own mind, though. I am always thinking how to get a leg up in the business, what’s the next best story to write.

        As for DOM, well, what can I say? I signed the rights over to the publisher. In retrospect, I wish I hadn’t. I would put a better cover on it, make it into an audio book and be more inclined to promote it, I guess. But, you live and you learn.

        I suppose I could be persuaded to send you a copy if you promised to do a review and get one other person to do a review. Though that’s probably easier said than done. But I don’t want to force it on you. You know your tastes and Demon is dark and gory and, well, I wouldn’t want to make you suffer if you’re not into that kind of thing. I, personally, have to be in the right mood for it.

      • Gah, I wish I could just MAKE time. Seems impossible when there are so many things to do that are all important. Difficult to prioritize that way.
        I’m pretty good at getting stuff done when I sit down and actually DO IT, but again, difficult when there’s so much else to do.
        That’s life, I suppose.

        I couldn’t work with quotas or set word counts either. I just work and what happens happens, but if I ‘forced myself’, I would probably just get flustered and more stressed.

        So have you self-published everything but DOM to ensure you don’t have to deal with similar unhappiness? I guess it would be really hard to promote a book when you’re frustrated by one thing or other with it. I find it hard regardless.

        LoL, I don’t want to persuade you into sending me a copy. As for getting someone else to review it . . . whew. I like that sort of stuff in books sometimes, but I don’t know anyone else (in my daily life where books could be borrowed) who is into it. Also . . . I have an EXTREMELY difficult time letting people borrow things. I’m overprotective of my stuff . . .
        Anyway, definitely wouldn’t suffer so no worries on that front. And you can rest easy (or not care at all) that when your book is in my possession, it will be well taken care of. lol

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