Home » Random » Random holidayness and stuff. (*ding*)

Random holidayness and stuff. (*ding*)

After a few hectic days, things are trying to get settled back into normalcy. Husband and I went to visit his family Christmas Eve/early Christmas. It was really enjoyable (as always, because his family is awesome). Got to talk about Reave with some of his family, which (of course)…mind blown. I wonder if I’ll ever stop being surprised by people liking it, but…I don’t want to stop being surprised by it because I feel that would essentially make me an arrogant A-hole. Still, it would be nice if the level of surprise could go down just a smidgen or two. (Can there be two smidgens? I say there can be multiple smidgens regardless of knowing it would just be smaller or larger singular smidgens.)

It would be REALLY nice if my anxiety level could go down about…ten million smidgens (or one extremely large smidgen, which would not actually be a smidgen). It’s been pretty bad lately, even around my family (who I see all the time). I noticed a week or two ago that I’ve started having issues even with speaking to them (stammering badly). And I think my hands have been shaking for the past four or five days straight. I don’t even want to mention the amount of sweating that happened with the in-laws (AND IT WAS SO COLD UP THERE!). All of it’s just ridiculous, especially so with the people I see/interact with all the time. It might be general stress setting it off and making it worse, but I can’t be sure. Either way, all of you out there in BlogLand should be glad you don’t have to interact with me in person.

Speaking of interacting in person. I’m still not used to talking to people who have read my books (minus a very small handful of people), so that’s been really strange. Just talking to people (when I can manage to get a few sentences out without sounding like a complete moron) and them actually knowing what I’m talking about with it. Or more so them talking to me about something I wrote, which is just…insane.

(Or hearing, “So and so read your book and they loved it.” Crazy.)

In other news, I’m slowly conquering my fear of Twitter. I’ve even made a new best friend on there, so that’s cool. (You can find his website here, and it tells all about his books and whatnot. He’s super awesome, so you should definitely check that out, especially if you’re into Fantasy and YA genre(s).) Apparently I can make friends even with my general awkwardness and declarations of a person being moved to BFF status after a few interactions. Twitter can definitely be an interesting place. (Is it a place? >.>)

So yeah, the holiday was good, apart from being stuck in a car for hours upon hours, then having The Migraine From Hell for several days in a row. It hit me the worst Christmas day, which I’ll say was likely due to a lack of coffee, sleeping awkwardly on an air mattress, my neck being garbage, and my hair being ridiculously long again. I AM glad to be rid of the blond though…not that there’s anything wrong with blond hair, but I had for enough time to suit me. Wow, digress much?

As much as I enjoyed the past few days, I’m looking forward to getting back to work. I feel lost when I’m not doing it.

Also, I need to apologize to all my in-laws for having to deal with me. I’m still hoping I don’t come across like as big of a mess as I actually am…

Actually…I need to apologize to anyone who ever speaks to me in person about my book (or sometimes just speaks to me in general, but especially about the book). My mouth-filter doesn’t work very well when my brain is malfunctioning due to anxiety. So when you say, “I love your book!” and I say, “That’s surprising. I thought everyone would think it’s garbage,” what I REALLY mean is… “I’m so glad. You have no idea what that means to me.” Sometimes that filter malfunctioning even extends to my fingers, so yeah, I’ll occasionally type things of that nature too. Occasionally might be a bit of a slight under-exaggeration. I have problems. One of those is a rather large lack of faith in myself. Another of those is not taking compliments well. When you add those up…well, you usually get the word ‘garbage’ in some way or another. It’s been one of my favorites lately.

Also…When most of your Christmas presents include pajamas, fuzzy socks, Starbucks gift cards, and candy? Well…it makes you realize that some people know you pretty dag on well. 🙂

I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas (or whatever holiday(s) potentially celebrated recently), full of wonderful experiences that don’t involve you being unable to speak in a satisfactory way to your family, sweating, migraines, etc. 🙂

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12 thoughts on “Random holidayness and stuff. (*ding*)

  1. C, worry not. When I started out with the new things in life, I was extremely hesitant. But, with time, things changed for the better, I settled down eventually. Don’t doubt yourself, and don’t worry how you sound when you’re talking, because those that know understand you. Those that don’t, will eventually come to. You’re doing so well, believe me. #Reave will do so well. Hope to #God, you will be highly successful.

    With time, anxieties will diminish. I’ve been through that kind of anxiety. ; ) Experiences make us stronger eventually. : )

    • If only anxiety just diminished. That would be fantastic.
      I know the people close to me don’t mind the talking badly stuff, but it bothers me. :/
      I might get over it one day. Maybe. Possibly.

      But thanks for all the kind words. 🙂

      • I can understand C. Hopefully with time, you’ll come out from that. I’ve not mentioned this before, but, I used to stammer whenever I talked to quickly. Lol.

        I’ve been extremely nervous in life, but I just got over it. You realise, what difference does it make. Life changes us. Makes us stronger. You are #uniquely you. A true person will accept you this way. 😊

        You are most welcome. Wish you ever success and happiness in life.

  2. I finished reading your book the other day and found it to be incredibly racist.

    But have a happy new year anyway!

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    That was a joke by the way. I haven’t actually read your book yet, so please don’t have a heart attack. Yeah, I’m always in a psychotic state of mind as the year ends. 🙂

    • Way to give a girl a heart attack!

      My reaction:
      O.O
      WHAT DID I DO?

      So…thanks for that!

      Is your psychotic state of mind over now with the new year starting and all? You’re lucky if you can get out of it because I kind of can’t…

      I hope you had a happy new year as well. 🙂

  3. This year it felt way too short because it was in the middle of the week and I only got that one day off. It wasn’t even a long weekend like labor day or memorial day. Hopefully next year we get Friday as a floating holiday or something like that.

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