Home » Random » Dear previous owner of my cellphone number,

Dear previous owner of my cellphone number,

A year ago when I went into the store to buy a cellphone, I never could’ve known the trouble it would cause. It was my first awesome phone, rather than a passably cool phone. I was excited, especially given that I’d spent several years of my life cellphoneless and cut off from the majority of the world.

And then the calls started coming. I thought, naively, that they would stop – that they would stop after a certain amount of time had passed and all the people trying to find you, or your wife, or your brother (or whoever the hell you all are) realized that your number had changed.

They never stopped.

I do not appreciate having to have a spam-blocker app on my phone because of someone else.

I do not appreciate having to keep my phone on vibrate so the Doctor Who theme song that is my ringtone doesn’t cause my husband (or my sister) to wreck their cars while I’m riding with them. It’s always calls for you. People do not call me on my phone. People call you on my phone.

I do not appreciate waking up to a recording on my voicemail telling me that, if I am not you, to delete the message immediately without listening to it.

I do not like picking up my phone and hearing a recording about tax debt every other day.

I do not like vision centers calling about appointments for the female end of this trio of same-last-name-entity. Ten times in a year. How bad is your freaking eyesight?

I do not like all these recordings in general, as it gives me no one to speak with to inform them, “YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER.”

But they do not have the wrong number, do they?

No, because a person called – it sounded like a creditor or someone of that nature – and had a very interesting talk with me about how you’d given them this number JUST A WEEK AGO. I do not like being interrogated (asked my name on my own freaking phone) or asked, “Are you sure you don’t know [NAME].”

Yes, I am sure I do not know you. But I do know that . . . I’m quite positive I hate you.

I suppose this is what I get for being picky and asking for a phone number with as many even numbers as possible. This is what I’m going to call karmic-jackassery. It is my own fault, in that way.

You shall go unnamed here, but I hope on all that is holy that I never run into you (or that I never figure out who you all are past your names) because I’m quite certain I would throw something at all three of your faces. No, I wouldn’t really, but I like to think about it sometimes.


Thank you.

Have a wonderful life.

–         C

PS) By the sound of the voice of the man I spoke with very recently . . . he was not happy. I suggest you attempt – VERY HARD – to get your ducks in a row. It seems like you’ve got quite a lot of them. Thank you, so very much, for sending so many of those ducks my way. My life is so much more complete and wonderful because of all the little duckies quacking around.


10 thoughts on “Dear previous owner of my cellphone number,

  1. Wow. I could get the calls from people who knew him a year ago. Sort of. But that he’s still putting that number down all this time later … obviously not a high-functioning member of society. Hope you figure out a way to end it.

    • Thank you. This is a very difficult time in my life.

      No, but it really is ridiculous.
      After the recent one of actually speaking to a person, I’ve come up with a theory that it’s done in an effort to weasel out of things. Give them a number, no problem. Then they figure out it’s not you . . . But it really does baffle me, and it’s very frustrating.
      I’m contemplating changing my number, but I really don’t want to do that. I’ve already stuck it out this long. Of course, being stubborn is only going to give me a larger headache.

      • Based on what you’ve described, it’s clearly somebody who has no morals. Absolutely none. I know it gets complicated, but I’d change my number … and hope that the new number doesn’t come with the same set of problems. 😉

      • I’m inclined to believe you’re right about that – the lack of morals.

        I really think I will do that – suck it up, pay the money for it, and deal with telling the few friends that I have.
        And yes, definitely do a lot of hoping that the same problems won’t happen. I could deal with random people having the wrong number, but not the creditors/recordings/etc.

  2. What a nightmare ! And I do love the way that you have written your letter. It sucks that you can’t find out who/where that person is… some people just have no consideration for others. Chin up – let’s hope it will go away soon. 😦

    • Thanks!

      I’d been fine (a little frustrated, but fine) dealing with it, until learning that the number was still being given out. I think that was the final straw.

      I’m going to make sure it goes away soon, that’s for sure.

    • I’ve never heard of that.

      I think I’m actually going to go in and have my number changed. It’ll cost some money (not sure how much with this company), and I’m frustrated at having to do it (as I’ll have to inform my two friends, haha).

      I’ve just been doing some thinking about it, and swallowing my stubbornness is likely the best option.

      • In the UK we say “I am getting prank calls” they change it for free

        Give that a try..
        Let me know how you get on

        Or get another Sim Card..
        Is it a contract phone?

      • I know the last time I had to change my number (through a different company), I DEFINITELY had to pay for it (despite having it changed for a very legitimate reason). We’ll see if they charge me for it, but I won’t be surprised.

        Yes, it’s a contract phone. I’ll let you know how how it goes and if they end up charging me a ridiculous amount of money for someone else’s idiocy and jackassery. 😛

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