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Friendship: The magic of THE CLICK

I generally don’t tend to have ginormous blog revelations – brilliant things that I feel some unyielding need to write about on here.

I have had my first. It even got its own swanky title from the get-go, which is another first (I’m not good at following maps).

Friends.

Original, I know, right? Wait a minute . . . just hear me out.

We all have them. Maybe a hundred of them, maybe only one. Still, we’ve got them. And, chances are, if you added up your total of friends throughout the entirety of your life, you’d have a pretty dag on large list of names. Even introverts have someone to call their very own in Friend Land. If you don’t . . . then you probably need to get out more. I sit in a shed and write my years away and I’ve still got a few of them.

Now, we all know there are varying degrees and levels of friendship, and I’ll not get into the negative categories.

You’ve got:

The Acquaintance: The Acquaintance is nothing more than a passerby in your life. Someone you may stop and chat with for more than a hello when running into them at the grocery store. They’re the small-talkers, and they’re nothing more than that. At least not to you, and you to them. That’s fine and dandy.

The Old Friend: The Old Friend is much trickier than The Acquaintance. They’re your close friends from childhood – the ones you grew apart from at some point between eating dirt (figuratively speaking) and having a real, grown up life. They’re the ones that you’ll either smile and wave at (possibly followed by unbearably awkward small talk about how life has gone over the past ten or fifteen years while both of you force smiles at the forces of the universe for smashing you together in that very instant), or you’ll just tuck tail into the nearest safe aisle and hide (which is what I do. What? At least I’m honest).

The Fix-er-upper: This is the friendship that requires constant attention and work to maintain. It could be something beautiful, if both parties put in the appropriate level of determination required. But sometimes? Sometimes The Fix-er-uppers just won’t work out. There’s nothing wrong with that. It happens.

The Fader: This is someone who – for no rhyme or reason – simply . . . fades out of your life, and you from theirs. It happens as well. It’s inevitable. You’d be surprised when you’re young by how many sparks of brilliant friendships chock-full of potential turn into Faders.

The Rekindled: I love this one. This is someone who potentially faded, but then – at some point later – blew up like a firework in front of your face. Rekindled’s cannot be ignored. But they take the work of ensuring that neither party returns to The Fader so that they can become . . .

THE ULTIMATE OF FRIENDSHIPS

The Storm Weatherer: These are the people who stick with one another through every whirlwind and flying car that the world has brought upon you. The Storm Weatherers are the most we can ever hope to have from another person, and the most that we could aspire to be for them in return.

But this blog isn’t about the levels of friendship. This entry right here is about the ONE factor that seeps into every relationship in your life, friendship or otherwise.

The Click.

The Click is the most magical of feelings. It’s what will turn a completely rational and levelheaded person into an absolute wreck.

I know this because I’ve experienced it. I’ve witnessed it. I write it.

It’s the thing that solidifies the beginning of something that goes beyond the ordinary. It’s the thing that ensures that – no matter what level of friendship a person becomes – they stick with you forever. They have an overwhelming effect on you, and they change things. They’re the people you allow yourself to get close to, the people you lower your defenses for, and the only people I – personally – will let have any effect on me whatsoever.

And there are levels to The Click.

There are the Smaller-Clicks. The people you feel drawn to in some way for no particular reason, but you still find yourself interested in them nevertheless. They’re the blogs you read more religiously than the rest. The status updates that you make sure you read completely when scrolling through the list of nonsense on your news feed. I might not always comment on something, but I read any new stuff to be read from the Small-Clicks. They can easily *Level Up*.

There are the Medium-Clicks. Those are the people who you’ll find yourself speaking to more often than others. The people who you chat with on a somewhat regular basis. The people who you find yourself genuinely interested, not only in what they have to say, but in them as people.

Then there are THE BIG CLICKS.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been confused about those – especially when I was younger. I’m much stingier with my Big-Clicks now. A Click is still a Click though, regardless of whatever happens after.

My husband was – and still remains – the biggest Click that I’ve ever experienced in my life. We get along almost all of the time. Arguments pretty much don’t exist in my world anymore (and if you knew how argumentative I tend to be, you wouldn’t even believe that I could/would keep my mouth shut with a person). We just . . . fit.

And it’s the exact same with The Big-Click in friendships.

They make no sense.

I’m a firm believer that, if you cannot get along with a person on a basic level, then you should seriously evaluate the amount of time and energy you allow yourself to spend on them. There are billions of people in the world, so there has to be SOMEONE out there you can get along with.

But I’m going to be completely honest and say that it baffles my brain how any two people can get along with one another. Everyone has different opinions. Everyone has different beliefs. And we will FIGHT TO THE DEATH (!!!!!!!) for those two things, generally. The Clicks go so far beyond agreeing on those two things. The Clicks, in my mind, have diddly to do with those two things.

I’ll spare all of you some nonsense about past lives and those Clickers being close to us then too. I’ve heard crazier theories.

That’s just how insane it is to me – that feeling of so badly wanting another person to think of you the way that you think of them. We all want to feel The Click, and we all want to be special enough for someone to feel it because of us as well.

Even for an introvert like me . . . it’s a magical thing.

We should all take a minute to think about the people in our lives, to think about all the things they’ve done for us – no matter how small – and then let them know that it (along with the person) is appreciated. And we should all strive to be there for them, in the same way that they’ve been there for us.

So – to all of my Clickers and close friends . . .

Thank you.

🙂

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15 thoughts on “Friendship: The magic of THE CLICK

  1. I never thought about the Click levels before. I can usually pinpoint the smaller and a few of the medium Clicks in my life. The big ones, as you state, make no clear sense. With me at least, I think it has to do with sense of humor and being able to play off each other without the flow of the action breaking. I don’t have to stop and explain my craziness to these people. They go along and take over at some points.

    • Oh yes, those two groups can get quite confusing sometimes.
      I’m glad to know I’m not alone with how little sense the big ones make!
      Sense of humor is definitely a must. Or a compatible sense of humor, at least. There are so many different sorts of humor, but I don’t want to get into that. Possibly subject for a future entry . . .

      I’ll tell ya . . . not having to explain your craziness to another living person is one of the most glorious things in all the world.
      Wow, my response was full of sense.
      🙂

      • It really was. Guess it isn’t a Big Click.

        Compatibility with sense of humor is very important. I have a few friends who are funny, but it’s very dark humor that I have trouble getting behind. Meanwhile, they have trouble with my goofy, silly humor. We’re friends, but we can’t keep a good humor-filled conversation going.

      • Then you and I are in the same boat with the sense of humor!

        I get uncomfortable way too easily when things take turns down certain paths; I don’t have a problem admitting it.
        And I get a little ridiculous in my silliness sometimes, especially when I’m comfortable with people (or nervous, which is an entirely different ballgame played in the same stadium).

        You can have friends that you can’t joke with easily, but my gosh . . . humor brightens up the world. People don’t always realize that a little can go a LONG way.

        LOL. Yeah. I think you’re probably right. If you have to explain yourself about something like that, it wouldn’t be a Big Click.

  2. Hey cool take on an old favorite pastime of mine. That would be friend checking. Every so often I have to check (TEST) people out. I want to know who the big storm weatherers are to use your terms. I think deep down we all do. Then I would also agree to your thoughts on clicks. Finding Big Clicks is a shot in the dark but well worth it. I found mine in my wife as you did with your husband. They just fit. Thanks for the post. I enjoyed it. Have an awesome week!

    • Friend-checking is extremely important, in my opinion. The older you get, the easier it becomes to start taking stock on the relationships in your life. Much easier to . . . um . . . snip the weak branches, so to speak.

      We all want to have deep, meaningful interactions with other people, but we also need to be able to trust the people we’re having those interactions with (the Storm Weatherers).
      The Big Clicks are such an anomaly to me. There’s just no rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes pairings make no sense on paper, but are golden when thrown out into the real world.

      I’m always very glad to hear when a person has a wonderful relationship with a spouse. Finding a suitable partner in life is so difficult, and so rarely achieved. You’re very lucky. 🙂

      Thanks for commenting.
      I hope you have an awesome week as well!

  3. I know exactly what you mean when you talk about clicks. I have one here living on my street. The mother of one of my daughter’s best friend… we went 6 months without ever meeting each other after our kids became friends… then one day we met, and by the time we both had walked home (like a mile from the school) we were planning to go on ghost tours together @ midnight on halloween. 2 years later our daughters are no longer friends (that’s just how it is with children) and she’s spent the last year in Afghanistan… but she still sends me postcards every other day, and we’re plotting to do more ghost hunting when she comes back. I consider her a BIG click. Something was just.. right with our friendship from the very beginning, and we’re eachother’s closest confidants even though we’re ridiculously different.

    • I think, sometimes, opposites really do attract – even in friendships. As long as you click and mesh? That’s all that matters.

      I’m glad to know you have a friend like that in your life. We all need them. Especially the ones who will stick by you and still make the effort, despite distances (even unwanted and unpleasant distances).
      I wish your friend a very safe deployment.
      You’re very lucky. 🙂

  4. Thanks for the follow, and welcome to my Word Press Family. Friends here are SHAMAZING…Hope to speak soon..Shaun x

      • The pleasure is but all mine…
        As I am from Scotland I charge £1 per comment

        🙂
        Hiya, glad to meet you pal..

      • Haha!
        I didn’t know that being from Scotland made charged comments mandatory. Thanks for the information! Being that I am from America, I am broke. Sorry!
        XD

        Glad to meet you as well. 🙂

  5. Pingback: The Life-Clinger: An Apology | cnmill

  6. Pingback: It’s time to play my favorite game. | C. Miller

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